The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

The hidden gambit of abusers to weaponize mental health allegations in post-separation parenting disputes is both cruel and cunning. 
As mentioned in the title of this episode, I also wax lyrical about the way in which I despise the way in which entitled abusers can so relentlessly seek equal shared care (or "50/50" parenting time).
 With the anticipated legislative reforms that will remove the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility (the decision making component of parenting) , we're on the cusp of a transformation in Australian family law. 
Through my lens as a Specialist Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, I celebrate the shift toward safeguarding the well-being of children, moving us past the archaic and abusive notion of treating kids as mere assets to be divided equally.

Brace yourself as we navigate the treacherous landscape of legal and mental health challenges that surface during these high-stakes disputes. Equipped with practical guidance, I discuss the importance of standing firm against aggressive legal tactics and the power of facts in the courtroom. Mental health isn't just a point of contention—it's a critical area to bolster, through professional support and self-care, ensuring your resilience shines through.  What's more, I extend an invitation to you, offering a downloadable checklist and workbook to navigate post-separation abuse, and the opportunity for personal coaching or group membership to bolster your support system. Together, we are stronger, and in this episode, we unite in the journey to reclaim power in the face of adversity.  Let's go!

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

I've felt the sting of disbelief and the accusations of "liar!" from 'flying monkeys' first-hand. 
In this episode I continue to peel back the layers of post-separation abuse and the deeply entrenched sexism that allows it to thrive in families, communities and society as a whole. 
I invite you to a space where we confront the skewed societal narratives that let men shirk their fair share of responsibilities in the home and parenthood, all while scrutinising the women who dare to challenge these norms. This episode isn't just about airing grievances; it's a call to action, a discussion on how we, as a community, can support and empower each other to reclaim our autonomy and stand firm in our truth.

In this episode I tackle the tough issues head-on—how internalised misogyny fuels the defense of abusers and helps Flying Monkeys to feel that all is well with the world.

As a specialist separation and divorce coach, my privilege is to support my community of clients to stand together, offering a beacon of hope and a reminder that their truth, no matter how fiercely others may deny it, is valid and deserves to be heard.

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

Have you ever witnessed a friend or family member supporting someone you know is harmful? In the latest episode, I pull back the curtain on the role of 'flying monkeys'—those who, perhaps unwittingly, become the enablers of abusers. 
Join me, Danielle Black, as we delve into the heart of internalised misogyny and post-separation abuse dynamics, uncovering why some women might side with aggressors and take a stand against female victim-survivors of abuse.

This conversation extends into the intricacies of relationships where traditional gender roles and internalised misogyny often go unquestioned. I explore the aftereffects of these dynamics on post-separation life, weaving in personal reflections and shared stories to consider how past expectations may haunt our present. It's not about pointing fingers, but about dissecting the societal influence and pressure that shapes our roles as partners and parents. Prepare to be confronted by the hard truths and inspired to join with me to forge a path toward a future where women support women, free from the shadows of internalised sexism and misogyny.

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

Discover the insidious ways enablers, allies, and advocates of abusers can deepen the wounds of post-separation abuse. 
I'm your host, Australian specialist separation and divorce coach Danielle Black, and this episode peels back the curtain on the concept of 'flying monkeys'—individuals who, knowingly or not, become tools in an abusive ex-partner’s arsenal, perpetuating a cycle of manipulation and harm. 
As we dissect the 'abuse by proxy' phenomenon, you'll gain the insight needed to recognize when seemingly supportive figures might, in fact, be reinforcing an abuser's control over you.

Navigating the aftermath of a separation is a challenge, especially when abuse enters the picture. That's why I'm here to help unravel the complexities of high-conflict relationships—because understanding the motives and methods of those who might appear as allies is key to regaining your autonomy.   I also discuss the problematic narrative surrounding 'narcissistic abuse' and why it is important to recognise that the behaviour of 'flying monkeys' goes well beyond personality disorders. 
Join me and continue your journey of taking back your power!

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

 I'm Danielle Black, your Specialist Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, here to guide Australian women through the stormy waters of separation, divorce, court preparation and effective co-parenting. 
This bonus episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast is part of the 'Safe-Guarding' series, where I unpack the different ways in which you can safe-guard yourself from accusations of alienation, withholding and gatekeeping.

Throughout the podcast, I emphasise the power of preparation and the importance of flexibility in thinking. I discuss the necessity of demonstrating your ability to consider alternative parenting arrangements, even in the face of family violence or post-separation abuse.
 It's not just about being heard, but also about how you're perceived, which can profoundly influence the recommendations in child impact reports - something that can have a significant impact on your overall outcome. 

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

The conversation in this episode branches out to the often-shadowed corners of complex PTSD, where symptoms can masquerade as other disorders, leading to alarming rates of misdiagnosis.   
It's a frank discussion with Australian Separation & Divorce Coach Danielle Black on the implications that such misinterpretations can have within the courtroom, and the importance of receiving appropriate treatment and taking responsibility for your healing in order to influence the way in which you are perceived by others.    

Also, healing trauma FEELS GOOD!  You deserve to enjoy your life as fully as possible, and this is what your children need from you too.  You can do it, but you don't have to do it alone.

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

In this episode I emphasise the importance of consistent written communication as a safeguard against false accusations.  Whether it's setting up a new email address or using secure platforms like Our Family Wizard, these strategies can help you to maintain  your credibility and shield your children from as much conflict as possible.

It's about more than just avoiding phone calls or responding on your own terms—it's about curating a child-focused environment.  I share strategies for using email to send regular updates on your children's lives, strategies for sharing their milestones, and the wisdom of scrutinising shared content to ensure your childrens' best interests are always in focus. 

You may not like communicating with your ex, but not doing so can leave you open to significant criticism, including accusations of 'withholding', 'gatekeeping' and the dreaded 'parental alienation' - especially if you end up in court.

Take back your power and control and do what you can to optimise how you are perceived by others on this challenging journey!

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

As a mother who's trudged through the murky waters of post-separation abuse, I understand the tightrope walk of safeguarding children while facing the possibility of false accusations of things like 'withholding', 'gatekeeping' and 'alienation'.

This episode shines a light on the credibility battles many women face when family violence surfaces in legal disputes. It's a candid discussion that hinges on the painful truth: the way a man treats the mother of his children often foreshadows his post-separation behaviour. 

Transitioning to and from supervised visitation can feel like navigating a minefield and I explore this delicate topic with an emphasis on the significance of professional supervision and other tools at your disposal, like hair follicle testing and BACtrack alcohol monitoring, to ensure the safety and well-being of your precious children during these visits. 

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

As a parent who might be battling to shield your children from an abusive ex, the fear of being slapped with accusations of 'alienation' is all too real. 

Embarking on the family law journey as a protective parent requires a delicate strategy, and in this episode I discuss how to utilise supervised visitation to your advantage. Steering clear of alienation accusations, while ensuring your children's safety, can feel like an impossible task but in this episode, and others to follow, I will discuss how to balance the act of being a protective parent while maintaining your credibility.

Join us for me for the first part of this crucial conversation—because when it comes to  navigating separation and co-parenting with a controlling abuser, knowledge is not just power, it's protection.

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.

Unraveling the complexities of 'alienation' in family law, this episode dissects the controversial concept of the debunked 'parental alienation syndrome',  and reveals the deep-seated biases that imperil protective mothers and their children in the Australian legal system. 
You're invited to join a critical conversation that questions the societal and legal insistence on preserving a child's connection with both parents in the face of abuse. This discussion exposes the systemic failures that endanger children placed in contact with abusive parents, and sheds light on the inadvertent yet troubling role that professionals may play in perpetuating this cycle.

Host and specialist Separation and Divorce Coach, Danielle Black,  champions the abandonment of discredited terms like 'parental alienation', advocating for clearer language that truly captures the manipulative tactics of abusers and reinforcing the urgency of protecting both women and children post-separation. 

In Danielle's trademark 'no BS' style, and drawing from her own lived experience as well as that of her many clients, this episode serves as a clarion call for change.

The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

About Danielle Black Coaching:

Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au

This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.