The Self-Hype Podcast

In this AMA episode, Eli dives into the Instagram mailbag to answer your most burning questions about avoidant exes, messy breakups, and the reality of the healing era. He tackles the ultimate question: can an avoidant ex actually process your breakup while monkey-branching into a new relationship? (Spoiler: Hell no.) Eli breaks down the neuroscience of heartbreak, explaining why your brain goes through literal drug withdrawals and why your biological "tribal" instincts trick you into feeling guilty for leaving a toxic situation. He also unpacks why avoidant men use rebounds as emotional crutches to avoid facing their own core wounds. You’ll leave this episode understanding that heartbreak isn't just sadness—it's grief—and why sitting in the discomfort is the only way to truly rewire your nervous system.

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Welcome back to the Selfhype Podcast! This week, Eli is diving into the sweet, beautiful, and absolutely terrifying world of rejection. If you’re letting the fear of a "no" hold you back from your dream career, your personal growth, or filtering out that dusty-ass ex, it's time to wake up. We’re talking all about rejection therapy, having the audacity to take up space, and training your nervous system to realize that a "no" is just a stepping stone to your true potential. Stop living in your comfort zone and start building iron-clad discipline over fleeting motivation. Hit play, take notes, and then go out and get rejected—you deserve it.

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If your knee-jerk reaction to conflict is to shut down or freak out, your subconscious might be stuck in the third grade. In this incredibly nerdy and insightful episode, Eli geeks out with Danny B, a certified aerospace mental fitness coach who works directly with the teams at NASA. Dani breaks down the literal neuroscience of how our brains get programmed, and hands you the exact blueprint to rewire those outdated neural pathways. From mastering the STEA process (Stimulus, Thought, Emotion, Action) to shifting out of a chronic fight-or-flight state, this episode bridges the gap between rocket science and relationship psychology. You’ll learn why your phone is a "weapon of mass distraction," how to physically change through repetition, and why regulating your nervous system is the ultimate life hack.

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If you just caved and texted your toxic ex, hooked up with him, or stalked his new girlfriend’s Instagram story—take a deep breath. In this solo episode, Eli is letting you off the hook. He breaks down why failure in your healing era is not actually failure; it's a completely normal biological response to losing your "tribe." Eli explains why beating yourself up is a waste of energy and challenges you to ask a different question: What did touching the hot stove teach me this time? You’ll learn how to reframe your missteps as vital data points, why true mental fitness requires daily practice (just like going to the gym), and how to translate your momentary "failures" into strict new boundaries.

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If you have a history of making a man the absolute center of your universe and abandoning your own life, this episode is your intervention. Eli is breaking down exactly how to protect your independence without sacrificing a secure partnership. He unpacks the harsh truth that your partner is supposed to be your support system, not your cure—and if you expect him to fix your anxiety or loneliness, you're setting the relationship up for failure. Eli shares the "blueprint" for maintaining your personal non-negotiables, why "bending" for a partner breeds resentment but "considering" them builds trust, and why keeping your friendships alive is actually crucial for the health of your romance. If you’re terrified of losing yourself again, tune in to learn how to keep your tribe, protect your joy, and make yourself a priority.

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What happens when your "perfect on paper" life suddenly falls apart? In this episode, Eli sits down with author and former corporate lawyer SC Perot to talk about surviving the ultimate life plot twist. SC opens up about the acute grief of navigating divorce during the pandemic—losing not just a partner, but her community, her house, and her dog. She explains how she traded her corporate blazers for feather boas, using long walks and a Harry Styles-themed "Eat, Pray, Love" adventure to slowly regulate her nervous system and find herself again. Eli and SC break down her four-pillar framework for cultivating joy, why true joy requires us to embrace our grief, and how to unlearn the toxic conditioning that happiness is something you have to constantly achieve. If you are going through a messy life transition, this episode is your reminder to trust the process.

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If you are terrified of losing yourself in another relationship or repeating the same toxic patterns, this episode is your official game plan. Eli answers one of the most common questions he gets: How do I actually "do the work" when I don't currently have a partner triggering me? He breaks down why you can't truly simulate a romantic relationship while single, but how you can still prep your nervous system for a secure one. Sharing his own current journey of facing fears (like finally signing a 12-month apartment lease after years of being a digital nomad), Eli explains how to identify the deep-rooted fears running your life. You’ll learn how to trace your people-pleasing and overachieving back to your childhood, how to reframe your survival traits as gifts, and exactly how to practice setting boundaries in your daily life before you ever go on another first date.

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In this highly requested solo episode, Eli takes a hilarious, unfiltered look at the classic Disney princess movies that secretly ruined our dating expectations. He breaks down why we’re all addicted to a delusional, “fairytale” view of love—and how media propaganda has conditioned us to chase a non-existent spark. From dragging Snow White for moving in with seven roommates, to questioning how Ariel expected to build a life with a guy who literally eats her oceanic friends, no nostalgic film is safe. Eli unpacks the bizarre trend of men falling in love with unconscious women (looking at you, Sleeping Beauty), and why forced romances in movies like Mulan teach us that we are only as good as our relationship status. You’ll laugh, you’ll feel called out, and you’ll leave with a reality check on why unlearning this "relationship porn" is the first step to building real emotional intelligence.

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We all know the post-breakup urge to grab mimosas, turn up, and numb the pain. But in this episode, Eli and guest Colleen Freeland break down exactly why drinking through your heartbreak practically guarantees you’ll repeat the exact same toxic patterns in your next relationship. Using her own story of navigating divorce and high-functioning alcohol dependency, Colleen explains how outsourcing your sense of safety to a bottle (or a rebound) keeps you stuck in an abusive relationship with yourself. Eli and Colleen dive deep into why we are so terrified of our own feelings, how to sit with the discomfort of a breakup, and why treating the symptom will never cure the root wound of low self-worth. You’ll leave understanding that your biggest fear isn't actually being alone—it's failing to live up to your full potential.

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Eli is dropping the ultimate truth bomb for anyone stuck in a frustrating relationship trying to "fix" their partner: you cannot change a man. In this quick, hard-hitting solo episode, Eli breaks down why dating for potential—when it's entirely one-sided—is just delusion in disguise. He shares his own journey of doing the inner work, revealing that he didn't heal his avoidant tendencies to save a relationship, but because he wanted to reach his own potential. But if you’re already in deep and want things to improve, Eli explains how to actually inspire growth. You’ll learn why you have to become the mirror for the communication you want, how your anxious attachment might be overloading him, and the psychological hack of using positive reinforcement instead of criticism to make a man actually want to step up.

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