The Self-Love Recovery Podcast

Why do so many codependents and people with Self-Love Deficit Disorder live in constant fear, even when they're safe? In this episode, I talk with Dr. Todd Burstain, an internist who spent 30 years treating patients, about how chronic fear changes the brain and hides behind "masks" like anxiety, codependency, and narcissism. 

We get into why narcissists cope by controlling others while codependents cope by giving in to control, and how PTSD and gaslighting make it hard to tell real danger from old trauma. 

Dr. Burstain also shares his 10-step path for quieting "fear's voice" and reconnecting with your authentic self, which he covers in his new book, Fear Itself, out November 10. www.drtoddburstain.com

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ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

On Dianna Romanov's Divorced Like a Boss podcast, psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., explains his Human Magnet Syndrome theory, that givers are reflexively drawn to narcissistic takers, and why the outdated term "codependency" should be replaced by Self-Love Deficit Disorder. His pyramid model traces the problem from childhood attachment trauma to core shame, pathological loneliness, and an addiction-like compulsion to stay in harmful relationships. His ten-stage Self-Love Recovery Treatment Program, roughly nine to eighteen months of weekly therapy, resolves each layer so people can leave personality-disordered partners and reach lasting self-love abundance.

Diana Romanov is a San Francisco family law attorney handling divorce, child custody, child and spousal support, domestic violence restraining orders, property division, and marital agreements. She offers advice and mediation in English, German, and Russian. She holds a family law JD from Freie Universität Berlin and an LLM in US Legal Studies from Golden Gate University School of Law, and received the Justice and Diversity Center's Outstanding Pro Bono Award for Family Law Cases. More about Diana:  https://www.romanovlaw.com/

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

Ross Rosenberg talks with podcaster and author Luke Storey (The Life Stylist) about his journey from addiction to nearly 30 years of sobriety, and his upcoming memoir, A Horse Named Lonesome. Luke shares how childhood trauma and loneliness fueled his addictions, and how a mushroom ceremony revealed that writing the book was really about helping others heal. He and Ross connect Luke's idea of "disconnection" to Ross's theory of self-love deficit disorder, exploring how shame drives addiction and how self-love becomes protection against relapse. 

A Horse Named Lonesome comes out November 17 and is available for pre-order now; find more of Luke's work at lukestorey.com.

Luke Storey is a former celebrity fashion stylist turned biohacking pioneer and wellness educator, shaped by his own recovery from addiction. He hosts The Life Stylist, a weekly podcast launched in 2016 with over 700 episodes and 14 million downloads, covering biohacking, trauma healing, and consciousness. The show ranks among Apple Podcasts' top wellness programs, with guests including Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Dr. Joe Dispenza. 

For more information: https://www.lukestorey.com/

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

Psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg explains why simply understanding a narcissist's behavior won't set you free — real change comes from recognizing your own role in the "human magnet syndrome," the opposite-attraction dynamic that draws codependents and narcissists together like a tango of leader and follower. 

Drawing on 37 years of clinical work and his own history with narcissists, Ross traces how childhood attachment trauma shapes both sides: the codependent who learns to please, and the narcissist whose personality disorder forms after trauma so severe it gets buried from conscious memory. 

Ross argues that acknowledging a narcissist's own trauma doesn't excuse their harm, and that healing means codependents owning their self-love deficit disorder rather than just blaming their partner.

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

 In this episode of the Self-Love Recovery Podcast, host Ross Rosenberg — psychotherapist and author of The Human Magnet Syndrome — makes the case that leaving a pathological narcissist isn't just a breakup; it's an addiction recovery process, complete with cravings, bargaining, and relapse. 

Drawing on both his clinical work and his own lived experience, he explains why the urge to return is driven by "pathological loneliness," a withdrawal symptom that reopens childhood core shame the relationship had been numbing, and why it typically lasts two to six months. 

Borrowing the "one day at a time" philosophy from twelve-step recovery, Rosenberg walks listeners through practical tools — shrinking the goal down to hours or even minutes when needed, riding out cravings like waves, naming the mind's manipulative bargaining for what it is, and building a support network instead of trying to white-knuckle recovery alone — all pointing toward what he calls "Self-Love Abundance," the point at which the narcissist's pull finally loses its power. 

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

NEW FORMAT: Written and produced by Ross — from script to screen.

Why does leaving a toxic relationship sometimes hurt more than staying? In this video, we explore "healing pain" — the intense wave of loneliness, self-doubt, and grief that often follows escaping a dysfunctional relationship or family. 

Like recovering from surgery, the pain that comes after leaving isn't proof you made the wrong choice; it's evidence that healing has already begun. 

Learn why pathological loneliness keeps so many people trapped, how healing pain lies to you about your future, and the simple daily practice that can carry you through the worst of it to the other side: a life built on self-love, self-respect, and safety. The loneliness was never the destination — it was the recovery room.

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

In his first live presentation in over six years, author and psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg (The Human Magnet Syndrome, The Codependency Revolution) delivers "The Healing Power of Self-Love" — a deeply personal keynote at Pensacola's Unitarian Universalist Church on why caring, generous people repeatedly end up in relationships that leave them depleted, invisible, and emotionally starving. 

Drawing on 40 years as a therapist and his own healing journey, Ross reframes codependency as Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), a treatable condition rooted in attachment trauma, shame, and pathological loneliness, and shares the frameworks that have helped thousands — including the SLDD pyramid, "relationship math," and the five pillars of healthy love. 

Equal parts confession, education, and call to action, this talk is an invitation to look courageously inward and begin the journey from self-abandonment to self-love abundance.

For information on The Pensacola Unitarian Universalist Church: https://uupensacola.org/

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

Are you in a relationship, or are you in a "cult of one"? 🚩

In this special full-length interview, Ross Rosenberg sits down with Chris Shelton—an author, cult recovery expert, and former Scientologist who spent 25 years inside the organization. Together, they break down the terrifying similarities between cult indoctrination and narcissistic abuse.

You will discover how pathological narcissists use the exact same deceptive tactics as destructive cults—such as love bombing, isolation, bait-and-switch, and coercive control—to completely trap their victims. For those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), the unconscious pull of the Human Magnet Syndrome can make you highly susceptible to these invisible traps, drawing you into a trauma bond that feels impossible to escape.

Watch as Ross and Chris dissect the psychology of mind control, why normal people fall prey to these predators, and the necessary steps to finally break free and begin your journey toward Self-Love Abundance.

To learn more about Chris Shelton's work, visit: chrissheltonmsc.org

Stop fighting an invisible force blindly. Learn how the dance really works.

Link to full video: https://bit.ly/Codependency_Habits

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

This is a podcast conversation between Ross Rosenberg and Dr. Steven Ross about how to choose a therapist. They advise prospective clients to ask upfront about a therapist's orientation, licensure, years in practice, and experience with their specific issue, and to reflect on any gender or age preferences while committing to a session or two to gauge fit. 

Ross and Steven explain the differences between psychologists and master's-level therapists but argue that after five to ten years of experience, practitioners converge in skill regardless of degree, with licensure and certifications signaling accountability.  

Ross and David They caution against unhealthy dependence on a therapist, urging clients to set boundaries and move on if therapy isn't resolving their core problem, and close by encouraging clients to know what they need and ensure they feel genuinely heard.

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

Therapist and bestselling author Ross Rosenberg challenges a common belief: that the narcissist is the one ruining your life. He explains why lasting healing comes not from studying narcissists but from understanding your own role in the relationship. Using his "human magnet syndrome" and tango-dance metaphors, Ross shows how narcissists and codependents — those with what he calls Self-Love Deficit Disorder — are drawn together like opposite poles, each trying to fill a void rooted in childhood attachment trauma.

 He explores why narcissists behave as they do, why adults are still accountable for the harm they cause, and why codependents stay trapped in a cycle that feels paradoxically safe. Drawing on 37 years as a psychotherapist, Ross offers real hope: your pain is not your destiny, and through his Self-Love Recovery Program, you can break free and reclaim self-love abundance.

Support the show

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG 
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. 

In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.

Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. 

Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) 
Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) 
Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) 
and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)