The Virtual Couch

Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling, also known by world renowned marriage researcher John Gottman as the Four Horsemen, are signs that your marriage may, or more likely is, in need of repair. Gottman, who, along with his wife Julie, run The Gottman Institute (http://gottman.com) a website for individuals, couples, parents and professionals alike that provides an incredible amount of information, and training, that "not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships, but strengthens happy ones."

In this episode, Tony discusses Ellie Lisitsa's article from the Gottman website, "The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling." Learn why these communication styles can, according to Gottman's research, often predict the end of a relationship, and, more importantly, what you can do to be aware of these unhealthy styles, and what to do when you recognize them.

Tony also references the Virtual Couch episode 67, Rules of Konstructive Communication, which can be found by clicking here tonyoverbay.com.

Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Also visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to receive updates on exciting new programs designed to help you and your marriage. And visit http://pathbackrecovery.com to learn how to overcome turning to pornography as a coping mechanism once and for all!

Today we dive into the world of online therapy with Haesue Jo, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as the clinical support lead for Betterhelp.com. We discuss how Betterhelp.com was started, as well as what the client experience is like from the initial assessment through meeting with a licensed counselor. We tackle the pros and cons of online therapy, talk about financial aid, where online therapy is heading in the future, and we hear a couple of funny stories that can happen when people are doing therapy from the comfort of their own homes.

Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Have you ever bought a new car, and then all of a sudden felt like everybody was driving the same model? The same can be said for almost any type of purchase, or hairstyle, even some of the phrases that you say, right? (See what I did there, have you noticed everyone saying "right" after almost all of their sentences, even if you don't agree with them?). Most likely you're experiencing what psychologists call "Confirmation Bias." Simply put, confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor and recall information in a way that affirms one's beliefs or hypotheses (thank you Wikipedia!). In today's episode, Tony goes over Kendra Cherry's article from Verywellmind.com How Confirmation Bias Works (https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-confirmation-bias-2795024). He also references Russ Harris' books The Happiness Trap (https://amzn.to/2ZeuPYm), and ACT Made Simple (https://amzn.to/2KJGDdb), as well as Sue Johnson's Love Sense (https://amzn.to/31S9wtd).

Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.

In part 2 of a 2 part episode on ADHD, Tony Overbay LMFT shares his own personal journey of living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD as well as what led him to seek help, the process of receiving a diagnosis, and what life has been like since the diagnosis and treatment. This episode tackles issues around impulsivity, as well as what the alternatives are to medication, and much more. Tony mentions the book Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. https://amzn.to/2YWbeYQ in the episode, and the signs and symptoms of ADHD in this episode were read from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-in-adults.htm

Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.

Tony’s daughter McKinley Overbay returns for her second appearance on The Virtual Couch. McKinley first appeared in episode 91 where she talked about battling teenage depression, opening up to friends, and how parents can help. Today she returns almost 9 months later to discuss 7 things that she has learned from her depression and anxiety, plus Tony and Mackie answer questions about mental health. You can see the post discussed by following McKinley on Instagram at @mckinleyoverbay

Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.