Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Does healing seem like a journey to you? A long, arduous trip. What if wholeness were closer? Something we can see and feel sooner? Listen in as Yael and dive deep into revealing and reclaiming our wholeness.

Here's a bit about Yael:

"My personal experience as a bisexual Jewish woman, a practitioner of Mussar, an adoptee, a divorcee, a “bonus mom” and a “career transitionist” have given me a deep repository of strength and skills as well. 

As a mindfulness-based coach, I help people who are at turning points in life get crystal-clear on who they are, what they need in the next chapter of their lives, and how to create it.

I help you develop the confidence to express yourself authentically and bring true closure to past chapters. Together, we discover your inner barriers to fulfillment. With support, you learn to rewrite old programming you didn’t realize you had.

My intention is to accompany you on your journey to living a life that is deeply meaningful to you with clarity, confidence, courage, and connection – whatever your identity, whatever your situation."

https://www.instagram.com/bechiracoaching/

https://www.facebook.com/yael.dennis.817/

https://bechiracoaching.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How's your healing evolving? Are we ever whole? Listen in as guest host Jude flips the script on me. Her questions on healing were great! They're well worth you asking yourself. Do my answers bring you an insight or two? There's only one way for you to find out...

I was adopted at 5 weeks old and told so young I don’t ever remember not knowing. 

I didn't experience any conscious adoption trauma until 40 when I found out my childhood teddy bear was a gift from my birth mother.

This caused an eruption of anger, feeling rejected and unloved. That kickstarted a healing journey exploring trauma, my roots and who I am.

I've spent 16 years doing this and continues to be fascinated by it all and:

*working with 2,500 kids and parents in the UK and USA to increase kids’ confidence, self-esteem, resilience and ability to stop bullies upsetting them.

*conversations with over 400 global foster and adoptive parents, foster and adoption professionals, social workers and therapists as well as adults who were fostered or adopted. Many of these conversations have been for the Thriving Adoptees podcast https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com

*I've  also run webinars for adoptees and resource parents in the UK, USA and Australia.

More at:

https://www.facebook.com/simonjbenn

https://www.facebook.com/thrivingadoptees

https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonjbenn/

https://www.instagram.com/simonjbenn/

https://www.thrivingadoptees.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We only have to heal if we've been sick or damaged. But what if this perspective is off? Listen in as therapist and teacher Corie shares a fresh perspective on growth and change.

Find out more about Corie and her book at:

https://www.facebook.com/corieskolnick

https://corieskolnick.com/orfan/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Our anger can be explosive, scaring ourselves as well as others. It's often a central part of our trauma as well as coming out of the fog. So how do we find peace? Where do we find peace? Listen in as Quinn shares his insights on finding peace.

https://novacatfilms.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/quinn-wolverton-4285662b2/

https://www.instagram.com/novacatfilms/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Changing the narrative requires changing the narrators. What narrative would empower you? What if being adopted has given you superpowers? How would that perspective power you? Listen in as Stephanie shares her thoughts about becoming superpowered and other healing insights.

More about Stephanie at:

https://www.loyola.edu/school-education/academics/graduate/curriculum-instruction/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanie-flores-koulish-5792919/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How do you see your trauma? Does it scare you? Has the lead to you pushing it away? Suppressing it? Would a new relationship with trauma improve your life? Listen in as Tim shares key learnings on his journey to seeing trauma as a gift.

Tim Perdion, born Thomas Griffin Demchak on March 1, 1969, was adopted shortly after birth. Despite growing up in a seemingly perfect family, he struggled with anger, depression, and anxiety. Discovering his biological roots at 46 unveiled complex family secrets, prompting a relentless pursuit of identity and self-worth.

Tim's journey includes overcoming addiction, mental health challenges, and relationship struggles. In 2019, he sought help at Sierra Tucson, leading to a transformative healing journey. Embracing Christianity in 2023, Tim was baptized and ignited his passion for serving others.

He continues to explore family connections, despite facing secondary rejection and complex family dynamics. Transitioning from a corporate career, Tim now leverages his spiritual gifts as a life coach, speaker, and consultant, dedicated to inspiring and supporting adoptees and those dealing with trauma.

Tim's mission is to use his experiences to heal the pain of relinquishment, foster authentic connections, and empower others to live their truth, trusting in God's plan for his life.

https://www.prodigalpathways.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/timperdion/

https://www.facebook.com/tperdion/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

What have you done with your trauma? Turning the tough stuff you've been through into work to empower others is one of the most healing things we can do. Listen in as Mallory shares learnings from her life including what she discovered about herself adopting her daughter. We touch on empathy, ending self-judgement and more...powerful and insightful. Enjoy.

Mallory is an intercountry transracial adoptee and a former foster, now adoptive, mom. She has a profound awareness of the challenges faced by foster and adoptive families and is passionate about providing parents with the education they need to understand trauma and its impact on children. She's a University of Southern Indiana graduate with a BS in Accounting and Professional Services. She has over a decade's worth of experience in various accounting settings, including the nonprofit industry.

https://www.mallorysmission.net/

https://www.facebook.com/MalChfn

https://www.instagram.com/maljoest/

https://www.instagram.com/mallorysmission/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Gabor Maté says that the feeling we are not good enough is actually a belief that we are not good enough. And that's important given so many of us feel less than. Do beliefs seem more bustable than trauma seems healable? Listen in as I explore belief busting, hope and more in this short episode.

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

What if time ISN'T the greatest healer? What is? Anthony lost a wife through divorce, his adoptive mother who died and his birth mother for the second time. All in one year. How did he cope? What did he learn? Listen in as he shares some of his greatest healings. And we go deep on the healing power of realisations.

About his book Lucky Bastard

When he was ten years old, the author was told he’d been adopted. It was a seismic event that turned his world upside down. Nobody was who he thought they were. His mother wasn’t his mother; his father wasn’t his father; his sister wasn’t his sister; his grandparents weren’t his grandparents; he wasn’t related to any of his relatives; he didn’t know where he came from or who he was. This was at a time when adoption was shrouded in secrecy and shame. Birth mothers and adoptive parents signed non-disclosure agreements. Adoption records were sealed. In Lucky Bastard Anthony Akerman takes the reader on his quest to find out where he came from.

https://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Bastard-Anthony-Akerman-ebook/dp/B0CWD19RCP

Contact Anthony

https://www.facebook.com/anthony.akerman.7

[email protected]

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

The need to heal the “Primal Wound” assumes we are wounded. It is important to remember that it's based on the perspective of adoptive mother Nancy Verrier, NOT an adoptee. 

It can leave us feeling: 

*stuck with the belief we cannot heal. 

*unsure of what to do next for the best. 

*pathologized for an event we had no choice in. 

*More and more adoptees are questioning the wound narrative and wanting to take back their power. Post Traumatic Growth is an altogether more empowering, hopeful and positive perspective that allows us to do exactly that. 

View the slides that go with the presentation here

https://www.canva.com/design/DAGIf_zETn8/kZ0rRZ1DLOdWe4lZ3j0h7g/view?utm_content=DAGIf_zETn8&utm_campaign=share_your_design&utm_medium=link&utm_source=shareyourdesignpanel

Let's thrive together. 

This event was a taster for the Growth & Transformation course.

Starts: Wednesday 31st July at 9am PST, Noon EST, 5pm UK 

Runs every Wednesday for 24 weeks Price: £75 (approx. $100)/month for 6 months 

Register now - only 12 places for this first cohort (£150 per month for future cohorts) at www.thrivingadoptees.com 

Here's the course outline:

Introduction 

We’ll start with 2 sessions exploring the holistic nature of healing, energy, entering and pacing on the Spiral of Growth. 

Mind 

The next 4 sessions will look at what’s going on in our minds, opening to and focussing on growth and what gets in the way of that. We’ll use metaphors such as mind-set v mind-fluid to bust old beliefs and access new and healthier perspectives. It’s all about harnessing your brain’s ability to recover and transcend trauma. 

Body 

The 4 webinars on Body will get to the heart of pre-verbal, pre-memory trauma looking into Somatics, self care and embodiment to bring subconscious trauma into the warm and healing light of awareness. This is all about shifting your moment to moment lived experience to peace and calm Heart You will learn all about attuning to your heart, being guided by your intuition over 4 sessions. We will go upstream of feelings to their source and learn about creating new flows for a more contented life being triggered less, with less intensity. 

Social 

How can we navigate relationships – even the tough ones with adoptive and biological families – with more ease? 4 sessions on setting and keeping boundaries, communication, the double-edged sword of validation in adoptee communities, self- leadership and feeling like we belong 

Spirit Who are we at our core, our essence that’s untouched by our trauma. A non-religious take on the self v the Self to understand and live our sovereignty. These 4 sessions are all about the many ways we can leave our trauma bound identity behind for a more authentic and contented life

 Integration 

2 sessions to pull the last 22 together to catalyse our growth and transformation. Stepping into a role as alchemist to turn darkness into light, trauma into joy. 

Weekly Learning & Practice – 24 X 60 minute sessions 

Guided Support, Mentorship, Group Support & Accountability through a dedicated Facebook Group 

Starts: Wednesday 31st July at 9am PST, Noon EST, 5pm UK 

Runs every Wednesday for 24 weeks Price: £75 (approx. $100)/month for 6 months 

Register now - only 12 places for this first cohort (£150 per month for future cohorts) at www.thrivingadoptees.com 

About the speakers: 

About Jude

 Adopted at 2 days old, Jude was told the first time her mother held her, “you are adopted”. As a Reiki Master, certified aromatherapist, massage therapist and meditation teacher, she uses a variety of tools in showing people how to cultivate a life of authenticity, empowerment and fulfillment. On June 4th, 2019, she received a letter from her biological mother that pushed her out of the fog and into the realization that she had been carrying, in her body, the trauma of being relinquished. This was the final ah-ha on her personal healing journey that brought her to the root of the grief, pain and fear she had struggled with throughout her life. Now, 56, Jude has a blog, facilitates workshops and weekly adoptee support groups. She resides in Asheville, NC with her husband, Jeff and dog Skyler. 

About Simon

 Simon but was adopted at 5 weeks old and told so young he doesn't ever remember not knowing. He didn't come out of the fog until he was 40 when he found out that my teddy bear was a gift from his birth mother. That unleashed an eruption of anger, feeling rejected and unloved. That led to a quest to heal, healing and a desire to help others. A letter from his birth mother (Pat) caused a profound realisation that she loved him dearly and a visceral connection with her. He later found out that she had died, but the depth of their felt connection helped Simon take this in his stride. He's now 57, runs Thriving Adoptees and lives in Hunsingore, near York, UK with his wife, 2 labradors Rosie and Indie and pet pig Buster (who lives outside). He has interviewed over 400 adoptees and run webinars for many, many more on advocacy, healing and thriving.

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.