Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Here's the links I mention towards the end of the interview

https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/self-love-for-adoptees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_AaeYGXVYQ

Growing up, Black transracial adoptee Rebeccah Carlson hated the colour of her skin. She hated her hair and her lips. She would dress in the dark to avoid looking at herself. So how did she go from this to self acceptance? Listen in as we explore what she's learned and continues to learn.

Rebeccah Carlson is Board Vice Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She is also a Corporate Social Responsibility Program Manager at IBM. She activates global opportunities for employees to volunteer within their communities and markets donor campaigns that amplify the importance of giving back. Passionate about human rights and civic engagement, Rebeccah has been sharing her own adoptee journey through different public forums since 2020 to help cultivate greater awareness of transracial adoptive experiences. She lives in Minnesota and has a master's degree in Business Administration from Bethel University. In her free time, Rebeccah enjoys hiking and cooking.

Here are some links to the Adoptee Mentoring Society

https://www.instagram.com/adopteementorship/

https://www.adopteementorship.org/

https://www.facebook.com/adopteementorship

https://www.linkedin.com/company/adoptee-mentoring-society/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

 So many of our feelings come from subconscious thoughts. That's a challenge because we can't deal with what we aren't aware of. Listen in as we explore adoption trauma and awareness. Get insights from people in the constellation that don't normally feature on the show. Birth mom Ashley Vite and daughter of an adoptee Kayla Vite are life partners and host the Adoption is podcast... "We are here to give a voice to the men and women who have had an adoption experience."

Listen to the podcast here:

https://open.spotify.com/show/077HQIcufyJjzgMwAjqHyn

Connect with them on social here:

https://www.instagram.com/adoption_is_podcast/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087506625456

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Working with a therapist involves making ourselves vulnerable. Putting ourselves in their hands. Accepting their authority. Emma's therapist abused her trust. Time and time again Emma ignored red flags as her intuition warned her off her therapist. Listen in as we explore this and how you can become aware of the red flags you've seen. Other people can't know us like we can know ourselves. There are no gurus. So we have to become our own. Take what works from others and leave what doesn't. Empowering and profound.

Here's the link to Emma's new book https://www.amazon.com/Fire-Coming-Emma-Stevens-ebook/dp/B0BSRGZMTS

Here are the links I mention:

Emma's first interview with me https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/freedom-with-emma-stevens

My mentor's book  https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9T

Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. She developed the inner strength and courage to surmount the many struggles she faced. Her traumas were born from being an adoptee who struggled with being forced to wear an impossible mask of playing the part of the “good adopted child.” Because being relinquished and adopted has colored her life, it’s Emma’s desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to helping bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals. She believes strongly in adoptees finding their voice and discovering their truth to have a solid sense of self and to reclaim their identities. Through telling her story, Emma is dedicated to help redefine the narrative of adoption to include the entire complex truth.

More about Emma at

https://linktr.ee/EmmaStevensWriter

https://www.instagram.com/EmmaStevensWriter

https://www.facebook.com/EmmaStevensWriter

https://www.tiktok.com/@EmmaStevensWriter

https://twitter.com/emmastevenswrtr

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Our motivation away from pain is far stronger than our motivation toward pleasure. That's why painkillers outsell vitamins. But what if we are - completely innocently and inadvertently - prolonging emotional pain? Listen in as Vin and I unpack this to relieve shame, insecurity and all those painful feelings we don't want.

Vin runs a Facebook group where adoptees and adopters can learn from one another in a friendly and no conflict environment.

Connect with him at:

https://www.facebook.com/vinadopteejarrod

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We've been through tough stuff so how do we adoptees grow? How do we learn from our mistakes? Listen in as Andres shares some of his learnings from both adoption and being diagnosed bi-polar. We explore who we are beyond our story, labels and psychology.

Here's a bit about Andres 

"My name is Andres, and as an adoptee, I created The Adoption Door to help people understand the experience a little bit more. I am building a community around this concept because people have a lot of questions and answers regarding this topic. Because this topic has so many facets, there is a lot to learn. It's all about helping each other."

Here's a link to his website and podcast:

https://www.theadoptiondoor.net/

Connect with him on social media here:

https://www.instagram.com/theadoptiondoor

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087401448925

https://twitter.com/theadoptiondoor

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Like many of us, Daryn was underprepared for the emotional upheaval of reunion. Listen in as he shares learnings from reuniting with his birth mother and some of the different activities he's done to heal. We go deep on understanding who are, and who we are not. This empowers us to step off the treadmill of seeking approval from others.

Here's a bit about Daryn from his website:

Hello! My name is  Daryn Watson, and I am a reunited adoptee. My adoption reunion journey began in 1995 at the age of twenty-five when I began searching for my maternal family. Less than eight short weeks later, I found my birth/first mother.

Our first telephone call was on October 9th, 1995, which happened to be Canadian Thanksgiving Day. I will never forget that phone call. For the first time in my life, I felt truly whole and complete!

Despite reading several books on adoption, I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming emotions and experiences reunion encompasses.I would be full of joy one minutes and the next I would feel grief, overwhelmed or angry the next moment. 

Adoption Reunions are often referred to as riding on an emotional roller coaster. These emotional up and down swings can last for weeks, months or even years.

Going through my adoption reunion journey made me realize that it’s too much to deal with it by yourself and too difficult to do it alone. Thankfully, I was able to find a support system to help me navigate the emotional upheaval that occurs within adoption reunions.

That is why I started Adoption Reunion Coaching. I really want to be that support system for others who are going through the same journey that I did. I went through this journey, I lived through it, I’ve learned how to navigate the journey and I can teach other people how to do so and make it less traumatic.

I am a contributing author to two books. “The Adoptee Survival Guide” and “Adult Adoptees Anthology: Flip the Script” I was also published in an article for “Adoption Today.” I use my experiences as a reunited adoptee to guide others through their Adoption Reunion Journey. 

https://www.adoptionreunioncoaching.com/

https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionReunionCoaching

 https://www.instagram.com/theadopteemind/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

So many of us adoptees feel so many painful feelings. Suppressing them leads to explosions later on. Numbing them through alcohol and drugs often leads to more pain. Fighting them never leads to peace. So what does? Listen as transracial adoptee Abby sheds her light on finding peace.

Abby was adopted from Bogotá at the age of two months and grew up in a small suburb of New York City. She received her bachelor of science in human biology from the State University of New York at Albany and her master of science in medical anthropology from University College London. Abby enjoys hiking, dancing, writing, traveling, exploring nature, and being with beloved friends and family. She lives in Toronto with her life partner and their two children. Since 2012, Abby has been reunited with her familia in Colombia. She is the founder of Decoding Origins

https://twitter.com/AbbyForeroHilty

https://www.facebook.com/abby.forerohilty

Decoding Our Origins: The Lived Experiences of Colombian Adoptees is written by seventeen authors who were born in Colombia and adopted internationally. Their individual stories illustrate different aspects of the transracial adoption experience. The traumatic loss of their mothers, culture and identities; racism; and severe abuse are amongst the tough topics addressed frankly and head on. However, these first-hand accounts also highlight the indomitable tenacity and perseverance embodied by the authors as they negotiate their way through childhood, parenthood, search, reunion, and the nail-biting wait for DNA test results. Intimate and honest, the powerful and moving stories in the words of the transracial adoptees themselves result in a unified voice that reminds us to never, ever give up hope.

http://decodingorigins.com/

Here's a link to the book https://decodingorigins.com/en/welcome/#book

Here's a link to the podcast I mention https://dramyjohnson.com/2023/04/ep246-noticing-the-story-that-says-everything-would-be-better-if-this-wasnt-happening/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

There's pain and beauty in adoption. Donna like she's been healing her whole life. But coming out of the fog was a shock to her system. Listen in as she shares her insights on an expanding awareness of her self. That's where the most profound shifts are happening that are powering on to a better life.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/donna-joseph-6a277a6/

https://www.facebook.com/donna.joseph123

https://www.instagram.com/iamdonnajoseph

https://www.facebook.com/donnajosephsearchingfortruth/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How do we heal is one of those inevitable questions that come up after we come out of the fog. Listen in as Cindy and I explore practical steps to heal and principles to help us along that journey. The distinction between healing physical v emotional wounds is particularly beneficial.

Here's a bit about Cindy from her website:

“I was adopted at 3 months and have always known. I have always had the desire to know my story and my identity, and my parents fully supported me. Trying to get my records and original birth certificate, at the legally allowed age of 18, led me to discover the difficulty adoptees face in doing so. The hurdles that challenge adoptees drove me to become an advocate for all my fellow “cribmates,” an endearing term that we’ve coined ourselves. My advocacy includes educating the public on separation trauma, family preservation, and abolishing adoption. When DNA testing became available, I became obsessed with helping others find their biological roots as a search angel, specifically now helping Amerasian “kids” identify their American GI birth fathers. I have been married to my amazing husband, Mark, for 30 years. Together, we’ve raised 3 awesome adult children. I enjoy genealogy, reading, beaches and pools, shopping, and of course, spending time with my 3 beautiful grandchildren.”

https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/

https://twitter.com/HHHRetreats

https://www.instagram.com/hiraethhopeandhealing/

https://www.facebook.com/hiraethhopehealing

https://www.pinterest.com/hiraethhopeandhealing/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We adoptees have so many questions! And international adoptions often throw up so many more especially when records are so sadly lacking or non-existent. Listen in as Yael shares what she learned handling ambiguity, letting go of overthinking and much more as we get to the heart of reunion decades after an international adoption.

Here's  bit from from Yael's website:

There comes a time in every adopted person’s life when they want to know the answers to some questions. What drove my birth mother to put me up for adoption? Does she think about me? Do I have a sibling somewhere out there in the world?

​Some of us spend most of our lives thinking about these questions, while others do not give it much thought. For me, these questions (and more) suddenly became a near obsession when I hit my 30th birthday. I don’t really have any explanation as to why this deep-rooted curiosity to explore my past occurred then, but I am sure it had something to do with me being in the state of reflection that milestone birthdays have a tendency to inspire.

It was when I was cleaning out my mother’s co-op, helping her put it up for sale, that I came across a binder with a lot of documents in it, a video, and some photos. It occurred to me that these were all paperwork relating to my adoption, something I had never seen before. The binder contained the court document, medical records, information on my birth mother, whose name and details I knew nothing about, and more. It became a mystery that I knew I wanted to solve to gain more clarity on a part of my life I knew nothing about.

https://www.fromgypsytojersey.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmtEu-MqHMHHWuLvgLoAR1g

https://www.instagram.com/fromgypsytojersey/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.