Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Am I stuck with the Primal Wound?

Will it ever heal?

How do I live with the scars?

What on earth do I do to be whole?

I've been searching for answers to these questions (and many more) since reading Nancy Verrier's book.

What I've learned has brought me peace.

I'm rarely triggered.

I know deep down that I'm ok.

Don't get me wrong...

I still have my moments.

But those moments don't hurt as much or last as long.

I've touched on my healing insights with over 200 guests

Now I'm sharing much more on this crucial subject.

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

The feeling of not being wanted haunts us adoptees. Being lied to exacerbates that feeling. The feeling moulds our thinking in a vicious circle that threatens to spin out of control. Or does so! Listen in as adoptee Joanne shares how the truth has helped her heal. There are insights, epiphanies and epiphanettes (like epiphanies only smaller) aplenty to speed you along your healing journey. Buckle up and listen in with big ears. This episode is packed with wisdom.

Here's a bit about Joanne and her book

"What if you found out that you were adopted and everything you thought you knew about your family, your security, was shattered? My Secret is about my 40 year quest for truth about who I am. But, more than that, this story is about overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve a goal.

My undaunted determination led me from private detectives, online sources and social agencies to covert missions like trying to collect an aunt's DNA sample at a family gathering. There were rumors, innuendos, false leads and small steps forward and backward, all leading me to finally find my 82 year-old mother.

I believe the reader will be drawn in by the intimacy of the journey"

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B014N2OQ6Y

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Australian adoptee Susannah felt cut adrift. This episode is all about her journey back to home - finding herself. Listen into her wisdom for your own insights into healing, understanding who we are and seeing that we are (more than) enough. Poignant, powerful and very relatable to all adoptees.

Here's more about Susannah, her story and her memoir:

In 1965, Robin, unmarried and pregnant, comes to Melbourne to give birth and give her baby up for adoption, then returns to Perth to resume her life having never seen her baby. After 10 days alone, the baby, is taken home, named Susannah, and made part of a wonderful family that loves her. The adoption laws at the time guarantee that there can be no contact between birth mother and child. Ever.

In 1984, the law is changed and sealed files can be opened. In 1989 Robin tries to make contact with Susannah who is now the same age as Robin was when she had her. Susannah replies to Robin in a letter, declining contact.

In 2014, Susannah, at the same age Robin was when she wrote her first letter, writes Robin a different letter. The heartlines open. After nearly fifty years apart, a mother and daughter are reunited. But the path to a relationship is not smooth. Very few adoption reunions result in meaningful, long-term reconnection. The fragile relationships stumble and fall under the weight of years of repressed anger, hurt, grief and loss, different beliefs and of whole lives spent apart. A feeling of connection isn’t enough. You have to fight for a relationship.

This is the story of two women who did. The raw openness of their writing and the breakneck speed of their reconnection is compelling. Heartlines is at once both unique and universal. It’s a story of courage and what can happen when you open rather than close your heart; when you decide to stay just as every fearful instinct tells you to run away.

Heartlines is about connection and reconnection and why relationships are worth the fight. It is a piercingly honest and often hilarious story of what it takes to reconnect – and stay there – after a lifetime apart.

Fast-paced, warm and funny, this is an adoption story that pulls the reader on to a wonderful if wobbly rollercoaster ride, exploring themes of family, motherhood, loss, belonging, hope, courage and the importance of never giving up.

https://www.amazon.com/Heartlines-Year-Met-Other-Mother-ebook/dp/B01AV416QQ

https://www.susannahmcfarlane.com/

https://www.facebook.com/susannahmcfarlane/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Amanda is an adoptee AND a birth mother. She's on the show with her mother Ann. That's a totally unique combination that we've never brought to you before! Listen in as we dive deep into grace, empathy, avoiding judgement and supporting others. They've learned a whole heap through their own lived experience and researching other people's experience for the books they've written.

Check out the book they wrote together at:

https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Ann-Angel/dp/0980208165

Check out Ann's book at:

https://www.amazon.com/Ann-Angel-ebook/dp/B00FJZAD6M

https://www.annangelwriter.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Finding out she was adopted at 57 left Carlyn feeling fragmented and deeply unsettled. Listen in as she shares how she put herself back together and found peace. We go deep in this very profound episode. The deeper we go, the more we learn and the clearer we see. And the more peaceful life is. Isn't peace what we all truly want?

Carlyn Montes De Oca grew up surrounded by secrets. She never knew her dad was a Marine during World War II or that her grandmother hired kidnappers to bring her mother back home after her parents eloped. Her mom and dad took an even bigger secret to their graves… Carlyn’s identity.

In 2019, at age 57, a consumer DNA test taken for fun revealed that Carlyn’s mom and dad, immigrants from Mexico, were not her biological parents and that most of her entire extended family, including 63 first cousins, all knew the truth but never told her. In that instant, the reality Carlyn had lived with her entire life shattered. This revelation fueled her year long journey to find the answers to “Who the hell am I and where do I belong?” Questions that led her to unearth a truth she could never have foreseen.

Junkyard Girl explores the powerful impact of long-held secrets and the complex relationships between immigrant mothers and their native-born daughters. This is a coming-of-age story later in life, a tale about loss and discovery, betrayal and forgiveness, and the true meaning of an American family.

https://animalhumanhealth.com/junkyardgirl/

https://www.facebook.com/carlynmontesdeoca/

https://twitter.com/carlynmdo

https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlynmdo/

https://www.instagram.com/carlynmontesdeoca/

https://www.youtube.com/user/carlyn555

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Flexing stops us breaking. Cate is an adoptive mum who's been through tough stuff herself. She's also an educational professional too who helped many adoptive parents pull back from breaking point. Relax and listen in for perspective changes that are going to make you and your family's easier and better.

Cate Tumman has two adopted kids and is an experienced education profession with extensive special educational experience.

I am a previous head teacher of an Therapeutic Independent school which was a project-correction passion to create and develop to its successful current position of having two consecutive Ofsted Good ratings in the six years it has been open.

My educational career has been to focus on making education accessible for those young people that have a barrier to accessing it for any reason. In the most recent years this has been supporting young people who have experienced early life trauma. With a particular focus on being able to have trust in the educational system again and to feel “safe to learn” again.

My values are to ensure that each and every child that crosses my path takes a little glimmer of positivity and belief that “they can” and that to restore a belief that adults can “keep you safe”. 

My passion and values are fuelled by my family, my two beautiful, adopted children and my husband, we travel an amazing journey together as a family and this allows me to understand the challenges that children and family’s experience from all angles and truly empathise.

Then to relax …when there is time…you will find me crafting, knitting, crochet, bead art, baking. 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cate-tumman-4211381b4/?originalSubdomain=uk

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Alice felt that there no was no place for people of mixed race like her. Adoption had destroyed her sense of identity. She felt fractured. Listen in as we explore the most important issues for adoptees who want to heal.

About Alice Stephens - from her website: Born in South Korea to a Korean mother and an American soldier father, I became Alice Stephens when I was adopted at 9 months old into a white family from Philadelphia with three biological children.

When I was four, we moved to Botswana, and ever since then I have been addicted to traveling the world.

Besides wandering, I love writing, reading, hanging out with my family, walking my dog, eating spicy noodles, and swimming.

My work has appeared in Urban Mozaik, Flung Magazine, Banana Writers, The American, and the LA Review of Books, among other places. Famous Adopted People is my debut novel.

As a book reviewer, I strive to highlight marginalized voices, diverse authors, and books in translation. Additionally, I am a columnist for the Washington Independent Review of Books, a contributing editor to Bloom, a co-facilitator at Adoptee Voices Writing Group, co-founder of the Adoptee Literary Festival, and a member of The Starlings Collective.

An adoptee before I was a writer, my mission is to merge the two, and make great literature while changing the the narrative around adoption.

https://www.facebook.com/AliceStephensAuthor/

https://www.famousadoptedpeople.com/

https://twitter.com/AliceKSStephens

https://www.instagram.com/alicestephensbooks/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

I love meeting kindred spirits and interviewing them so they can share their learnings with you dear listener. Fellow adoptee Danielle is a total one off in the amount of time and effort she puts into healing and supporting others. We go deep into the truth of who we are in a way that's accessible and ultimately healing. We back this up with some practical pointers to help you along your healing journey.

Here's a bit about Danielle from her website:

My name is Danielle and I am an Earth Citizen 🙂 .

What I mean when I say that, is I have a sincere desire to see a healthier, happier and more peaceful world, and I believe it starts with me.

I have dedicated my life to growing my own light by helping others to grow their light also.  For this, I currently work as a Regional Manager of Body & Brain Centers in Seattle, WA., giving lectures and leading training and coaching sessions.

My journey with this work and this path began over 20 years ago – when I started to seek healing for my own body, mind and spirit.  I have created Healing Tree – the blog, and now the book – in order to share my stories and inspirations family, friends, my students, and anyone else who may be interested in the healing journey.

It is a journey – and a long one at that!  Sometimes it’s nice to know you have companions along the way, traveling down similar roads as you.  It is my hope that the words you discover here become comforting friends for you, finding their way to your heart.  Who knows, they may even turn on a small light in there 🙂 When my light, your light, and our lights shine bright together, what a beautiful world it will be! 

“Our adopted angel” – that’s what Danielle’s adoptive parents called her. She grew up adored, doted on, and unconditionally loved. It wasn’t until she was in college that she first felt a gnawing curiosity about her roots. From time to time, she would wonder: Where did this face come from? Where did this body come from? Where did this blood come from?  Her search to find her biological parents had begun – one full of surprises and revelations.

After reuniting with her birth mother – and uncovering the primal wound that lay deep within her – Danielle embarks on a twenty-year healing journey of self-discovery, reconciliation, and forgiveness.

At once a heartfelt memoir and a guide to self-awareness, Healing Tree offers a compassionate exploration of self, family, and what it means to be whole. Rooted in her twenty-year practice in Body & Brain holistic mind/body techniques, Danielle offers an approachable eight-step method for anyone wishing to heal from emotional or psychological wounds. This method invites readers to cultivate a loving relationship with their authentic selves and charts a pathway to inner peace.

For anyone who feels stuck, hurt, or rudderless in the sea of life, for anyone interested in doing the deep work of self-healing, becoming liberated, and realizing the potential to heal beyond themselves, Healing Tree is a source of direction, inspiration, and hope.

Find out more at:

https://www.daniellegaudette.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DGhealingtree

https://www.instagram.com/danielle.gaudette/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Is it any wonder us adoptees crave love given the loss of the one who gave us life? Alex and I explore what he's learned on his journey to self love. He shares his recovery from pathological infatuations and a whole in his torso. My conversations for the podcast seem to be getting deeper as I talk to more adoptees. The deeper we go, the more healing we find. So listen in as we dig deep.  I LOVED this one and am sure you will love it too.

Find out more at:

https://alexmfrankel.com/

https://www.facebook.com/alex.m.frankel

https://www.instagram.com/alexm.frankel/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-m-frankel-5466621b/

https://www.tiktok.com/@alexmfrankel

https://twitter.com/alexmfrankel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOk3xjp8aatHb7f0ke9jLSg

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

When we know better, we do better. So what do adoptive parents need to know? Erin shares what she's learning raising her own kids adopted from foster care and helping other parents too. That professional perspective that backs up her personal one really makes this episode sing with clarity. We talk about understanding our own triggers, values and overwhelm which I know can be huge issues for you. Enjoy.

Here's a bit about Erin from her website:

My name is Erin Bouchard. Together with my husband, Joel I have been a foster parent since 2011. We adopted out of the foster care system in 2014. Over the years I have learned a lot through our experiences about early trauma. My goal is to help foster and adoptive parents learn about the impacts of early trauma. I teach and educate about connection and attachment. 

https://www.facebook.com/traumabasedparenting

https://www.instagram.com/traumabasedparenting/

https://www.instagram.com/erinchristinebouchard

https://www.traumainformedfosterparenting.com/

https://twitter.com/onceuponstrath

https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinbouchard

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.