Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Shame is incredibly toxic. Birth mothers suffer, adoptees suffer. Listen in as we go deep into shame from birth mother Patricia's perspective. Some things lead us to change our mind, others lead to a change of heart. Others - like moving beyond shame -change our world. Listen in to one of our most profound episodes yet. 

Here's a link to the Primal Wound video I talk about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ&

Here's a link to the podcast episode with the audio version of that https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/whole-healing-my-primal-wound-webinar-recording

I was born the seventh of eight children to an Irish Catholic family living in the western suburbs of Chicago. When I got pregnant at fifteen, I was hidden in our home until I gave birth to a baby girl and signed the papers releasing her to adoption. I was to keep her birth a secret​

In 1975 I married and four years later migrated to Oregon with my husband, Steve, and our four-year-old son. There we had two more children and I juggled child-raising with running a word processing business in Ashland, Oregon.

That beautiful baby girl came back to find me. Hard as it was to deal with my own grief and shame and to break my silence about her, I was, and am, so glad she searched. I wanted her in my life, and we rewove our family to include her in whatever way she feels comfortable.

In 1998 another change: My husband, Steve, and I bought land in Williams, Oregon, to start an organic farm and build a strawbale house. We did all that, and twenty-two years later we sold the farm and moved close to conveniences like grocery stores and doctors. Now I devote most of my time to freelance editing, and writing fiction, memoir, and poetry. 

If you are on the adoption journey, I hope you find A Life Let Go... helpful to you. And if you know someone on the adoption journey and they reach out for support, I hope you will offer them a cup of tea (or a glass of wine?) and a good listen. 

https://www.patriciaflorin.info/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100046448443902&ref=hl

https://twitter.com/pjflorin3

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Listen on as Alice shares how she found the patience and persistence on her quest to find and meet her birth mother. There are bags of insights, realisations, twists and turns. Buckle up for a rollercoaster of a ride.

Here is a link to the publication Alice mentions https://drive.google.com/file/d/1b2nqk1B6XrYH1qRez_tryDW34Yv0qSmd/view?usp=sharing

Here is a link to her profile and research

https://pure.qub.ac.uk/en/persons/alice-diver/publications/

Here's a link to the webinar video I mention https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ&t=224s

Here's a link the webinar on another podcast episode https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/whole-healing-my-primal-wound-webinar-recording

Connect with Alice on Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/alice-diver-b6939545

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Wisdom is a lot quieter than the negative voice in our heads. Listen in as Terrie and I explore finding truth and peace in that quieter place. From there's no need to try to numb or dismiss our painful feelings of loss, grief, shame and insecurity. There's no need to protect ourselves any more. A truly beautiful and healing conversation.

Terrie Novak is an adoptee and privileged to a rare abundance of love shared with her bio kids, adoptive parents, first mother, and biological siblings. Terrie lives in Portland, Oregon.

https://www.terrienovak.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/terrienovak/

https://www.instagram.com/joycentered/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How can the anguish of losing our birth mothers become the belief that we are not good enough? Join Vin and me as we explore the origins and growth of adoptees' shame. The better we understand this, more time we spend exploring it, the more likely to see through it to a more positive view of ourselves. This is a fundamental shift in our perspective. Such shifts change lives. Listen in for your own shifts.

Born in India, adopted at 10 months, raised in Australia, Vin is a true one off. 

Vin runs a Facebook group where adoptees and adopters can learn from one another in a friendly and no conflict environment.

Connect with him at:

https://www.facebook.com/CrZyPhOtOgRaPhEr

Here's the link I mention to Vin's earlier interview https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/vin-adoptees-emotional-rollercoaster

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Julia Brewer Daily is a Texan with a southern accent. She has a B.S. in English and a M.S. degree in Education from the University of Southern Mississippi.

She has been an educator, Communications Adjunct Professor at Belhaven College, administrator, and Public Relations Director of the Mississippi Department of Education and Millsaps College, a liberal arts college in Jackson, MS.  She was the founding director of the Greater Belhaven Market, a producers’ only market in a historic neighborhood in Jackson, and even shadowed Martha Stewart.

As the Executive Director of the Craftsmen’s Guild of Mississippi (300 artisans from 19 states) which operates the Mississippi Craft Center, she wrote their stories to introduce them to the public. She is an adopted child from a maternity home hospital in New Orleans.

She searched and found her birth mother and through a DNA test, her birth father’s family, as well.  She lives on a ranch in Texas with her husband Emmerson and two Labrador Retrievers, Memphis Belle and Texas Star.

https://www.juliadaily.com/

https://www.instagram.com/juliadailyauthor/

https://www.facebook.com/JuliaDailyAuthor/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/julia-daily-1006ba7/

https://twitter.com/jbdailyauthor

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

This episode is a break from the norm as we go into what Karen has learned hosting adoptive parents in Ukraine and interviewing 63 adoptive families back home in the USA. We go deep on integrating biological and adoptive families from overseas and revealing the treasure in what Karen calls "the brokenness and beauty of adoption".

A Pacific Northwest native, Karen Springs lived in Kyiv, Ukraine for over fourteen years advocating for orphaned and at-risk children and working with hundreds of adoptive families. Karen has managed humanitarian and child advocacy projects throughout Europe, Central Asia and the Middle East with Orphan’s Promise. Today Karen continues as an advocate for children in families around the world and is passionate about seeing nations collaborate in solving their orphan and vulnerable children crisis through the World Without Orphans global movement. 

This episode is a break from the norm as we go into what Karen has learned hosting adoptive parents in Ukraine and interviewing 63 families back home in the USA. We go deep on integrating biological and adoptive families from overseas to reveal the treasure in what Karen calls "the brokenness and beauty of adoption".

Find out more about Karen at karensprings.com 

Connect at https://www.facebook.com/karen.springs1

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

There's nothing more upsetting than seeing your child upset. Adopted kids can be more sensitive and easily upset. I'm adopted and bullies often made my young life a misery back in the 70's. Listen in as adoptee, birth mom and teacher Amanda and I explore how we can stop bullies upsetting your kids.

Check out the book Amanda wrote with her mother at:

https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Ann-Angel/dp/0980208165

Replay of How To Prevent Bullies Upsetting Your Adopted Child webinar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBsDhBu7eUY&t=1s

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Join us as we explore what adoptive mom Beth learned - and continues to learn - as her son struggles with addiction. It's raw, deep and profound.

Here's a link to the book I refer to in the podcast

https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Be-Me-Journey-Healing/dp/B09RY5S44R

Beth Syverson is a mom, wife, musician, and as of 2021 a podcaster, activist, and public speaker.

Since 2019, her son Joey has struggled with addiction to substances plus serious mental health issues. For the first year of that roller coaster ride, she and Joey were both derailed. Beth tried to “fix” Joey and her Supermom cape was tied on tight. But when nothing worked to “fix” him, she sought help for herself, which improved her own life and also her relationship to her wife Jan and to Joey.

She and Joey created Safe Home Podcast in August 2021, with the purpose of helping other families avoid some of the pain we’ve experienced.

“Pain that’s not transformed gets transmitted.”

We are trying to transform our pain into practical guidance for other families with struggling teens.

Beth adopted Joey from Japan when he was 7-1/2 months old. We now realize that his relinquishment trauma is the core issue that caused him to seek substances. Beth is a leader for other adoptive parents who are coming “out of the fog” and realizing that the adoption that created their family also created trauma for their child.

Contact Beth directly by emailing [email protected]

https://www.facebook.com/UnravelingAdoption/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYoW-LxFFes2EX71ENcFVCQ

https://www.unravelingadoption.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Insights, epiphanies and aha moments. Our eyes open to reveal something different. We see the world differently, more clearly, better. And when we see better, we do better. Sometimes they save our lives. This episode is all about Lori's lifesaving insights. She delves deep into the tough stuff - grief, mental health and painful emotional wounds. We would both love you to listen to it and have your own insights. 

As a wife, adoptive, biological, and special needs mom, teacher, writer, and speaker, Lori’s heart is to help others unveil a hope-filled life while growing in faith and relationship with Christ. Wherever you find yourself today, through both Lori’s freelance writing and her blog found at www.LoriSchumaker.com, you can find tools to help you make sense of God’s love for you, strengthen your faith, and bravely learn to live a surrendered life. In her award-winning book, Surrendered Hearts, she weaves lessons of letting go, trusting, and living surrendered to Jesus through the telling of her family’s adoption story.

Lori has been featured on Christian websites including iBelieve and Crosswalk. Her work can also be found in several devotional book compilations.

Here's a bit more bout Lori's story from her website...

One look into a pair of sparkling brown eyes, and Lori and Bryan Schumaker fell head-over-heels in love with a beautiful young girl in Bulgaria. Certain this was the child God intended for them, they stepped confidently into the adoption process they’d been preparing for. They thought they knew what to expect, and they did – but there was so much more.

The application process moved smoothly ahead, and they began making plans for their daughter – only to be informed she’d been adopted by a family in Italy.

Heartbroken, they struggled to move on, until, through a series of incredible events, they learned their daughter still languished in her Bulgarian orphanage. Turning heaven and earth, the Schumakers started over. Mix-ups, red tape, inexplicable delays, and a difficult judge threatened the adoption, but they were determined to bring their child home.

In an award-winning true story of learning that trust means surrendering your version of how the story should unfold, Lori and Bryan finally let go – of their dream, of their daughter, of their fears and frustrations. And in that relinquishment, God began to move.

Here's a link to one of her blog posts https://lorischumaker.com/10-tips-breathe-hope-adoption-story

Find out more:

https://www.amazon.com/Surrendered-Hearts-Adoption-Story-Learning-ebook/dp/B07WLJXBG1

https://www.facebook.com/searchingformoments

https://www.instagram.com/lori_schumaker/

https://www.pinterest.com/lschumaker/

https://twitter.com/lori_schumaker

https://www.youtube.com/c/LoriSchumaker

https://lorischumaker.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Amanda felt alone and angry. But she refused to stay that way and went on a deep journey within. Listen in as she shares her biggest learnings on that journey - emotional safety, loving ourselves and much more. I hope you love listening to this as much as we loved our conversation. Deep and profound. Just the way you like your podcasts. 

Here's a bit about Amanda from her website:

Coming out of the fog (unpacking my own adoption) was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. It broke me to the core, and I had to let part of myself die off. I wasn’t ready for that, and at one point I didn’t see how I would ever be the same again…

The short version of my story is that I was born in Colombia, sometime in 1984. I don’t know anything about my first two years of life. Well into adulthood, I would tell you that I was not affected by my adoption and that it was all in the past. I was adopted to Sweden, as a baby, and from a young age, I knew I was going to move abroad. I left Sweden, for New York in 2005 and loved being in the big city. I have realized what a perfect match it was for me as an adoptee to be in a place where I got to remain anonymous, but always have people around me. Fast forward a few years and I had my first daughter at the age of 26. This was the first time I met a biological relative, and the first time lacking medical history started to bother me. A few more years, I had another daughter, moved from New Jersey to California, and in my early 30’s I started experiencing anxiety, and anger outbursts. This lead me to start asking questions, trying to figure out the root cause, and I landed on (you guessed it) my adoption. The following 5 years were heavy, dark, and at times very lonely. I was uncovering trauma, and deep-rooted fears and issues I had buried for my entire life. It truly was like opening Pandor’s Box and realizing too late that the only way to go was forward. I started This Adoptee Life, to share my story, and it became where I would work out my entire adoptee experience and much of my healing. With every post I would write and every thing I would share, I wanted to make sure other adoptees would know they are not alone. On social media and on the blog, you could follow my process of coming out of the fog, in real-time. 

The turning point came in 2020 when late in the year, I decided to take a break and spend some time away from This Adoptee Life. To re-charge. After 2 very intense years, it was the first break I had taken from showing up almost daily. During this time, I connected with some of the people who are my mentors, my support, and my coaches today. They taught me about trauma, about finding inner peace, about self-love, and what it means to be authentically yourself.

This next chapter for This Adoptee Life has been one in the making since day one, but it’s only now that I have grown strong enough, confident enough, and peaceful enough, within, to dare step into my purpose, fully. 

And I am so grateful to you, for reading this, and being part of this with me. Thank you for being here, and for showing up for yourself and others. 

We are in this together.

AMANDA MEDINA
THIS ADOPTEE LIFE

https://thisadopteelife.com/

https://www.facebook.com/thisadopteelife

https://www.instagram.com/thisadopteelife/

https://twitter.com/thisadopteelife

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.