Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Considering searching? Scared of rejection? Confused about the next step? Adoptee and Genetic Genealogist Gerri shares what she's learned riding her own emotional rollercoaster and helping 300 other adoptees do the same. It's insightful, powerful and empowering.

Geraldine Berger, known as "The Genetic Genealogy Coach," is a professional genetic genealogist and author, specializing in helping adult adoptees and others with unknown parentage to identify and locate their birth parents, and other long-lost family members, via DNA testing.  In addition, she accepts traditional family tree research projects, breaking though brick walls, using DNA evidence. 

An adoptee herself, "Gerri" has cracked hundreds of cases of unknown parentage and other family tree mysteries, including her own, and her successes have appeared in news outlets worldwide.  She is also an experienced intermediary between adoptees and their biological family members.  

Gerri is the author of  "Living In The Know: The Adoptee’s Quick Start Guide to Finding Family with DNA Testing,” a book about the importance of knowing the truth of your origins and solving cases of unknown parentage using DNA testing, released May 2021 (Amazon, Kindle, Nook, bookstores, libraries).  As an adoptee rights activist, she is contributing author to various other media.

A dynamic public speaker, Gerri lectures on the topic of genetic genealogy at historical and genealogical societies, libraries and other organizations.  She earned a certificate in Genealogical Research from Boston University and has a Master’s degree in Psychology, from Fairleigh Dickinson University.  

https://www.facebook.com/geneticgenealogycoach/

https://www.geneticgenealogycoach.com/

https://twitter.com/TheGenGenCoach?lang=en

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Know-Adoptees-Quick-Start-Finding/dp/1736720309

Here's a link to the webinar replay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Empathy helps us understand the important others in our lives - like our adoptive parents as well as people who may not be in our lives such as our birth mothers. Understanding them brings more peace for us as well as oiling our relationships. Listen in as we dive deep on how we can up our empathy game.

Here's a bit about Danielle from her website:

My name is Danielle and I am an Earth Citizen 🙂 .

What I mean when I say that, is I have a sincere desire to see a healthier, happier and more peaceful world, and I believe it starts with me.

I have dedicated my life to growing my own light by helping others to grow their light also.  For this, I currently work as a Regional Manager of Body & Brain Centers in Seattle, WA., giving lectures and leading training and coaching sessions.

My journey with this work and this path began over 20 years ago – when I started to seek healing for my own body, mind and spirit.  I have created Healing Tree – the blog, and now the book – in order to share my stories and inspirations family, friends, my students, and anyone else who may be interested in the healing journey.

It is a journey – and a long one at that!  Sometimes it’s nice to know you have companions along the way, traveling down similar roads as you.  It is my hope that the words you discover here become comforting friends for you, finding their way to your heart.  Who knows, they may even turn on a small light in there 🙂 When my light, your light, and our lights shine bright together, what a beautiful world it will be! 

“Our adopted angel” – that’s what Danielle’s adoptive parents called her. She grew up adored, doted on, and unconditionally loved. It wasn’t until she was in college that she first felt a gnawing curiosity about her roots. From time to time, she would wonder: Where did this face come from? Where did this body come from? Where did this blood come from?  Her search to find her biological parents had begun – one full of surprises and revelations.

After reuniting with her birth mother – and uncovering the primal wound that lay deep within her – Danielle embarks on a twenty-year healing journey of self-discovery, reconciliation, and forgiveness.

At once a heartfelt memoir and a guide to self-awareness, Healing Tree offers a compassionate exploration of self, family, and what it means to be whole. Rooted in her twenty-year practice in Body & Brain holistic mind/body techniques, Danielle offers an approachable eight-step method for anyone wishing to heal from emotional or psychological wounds. This method invites readers to cultivate a loving relationship with their authentic selves and charts a pathway to inner peace.

For anyone who feels stuck, hurt, or rudderless in the sea of life, for anyone interested in doing the deep work of self-healing, becoming liberated, and realizing the potential to heal beyond themselves, Healing Tree is a source of direction, inspiration, and hope.

Find out more at:

https://www.daniellegaudette.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DGhealingtree

https://www.instagram.com/danielle.gaudette/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Many adoptees - myself included - delay the search for our birth mothers for fear of rejection. We don't believe we could handle it. We are still feeling the aftershocks of the initial rejection. Lori shares what she's learned about surviving rejection, underestimating our emotional resilience and ability to bounce back. We both loved this deep and profound conversation and hope you do too.

Here's a bit about Lori and her book:

Jakiela is a Professor of English/Creative Writing at The University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg, where she directs the Creative & Professional Writing Program. She writes a monthly column, "Stories of Our Neighbors"–modeled on the work of the great oral historian Studs Terkel–for Pittsburgh Magazine, and is the recipient of multiple Golden Quill Awards from the Press Club of Western Pennsylvania. 

She has taught in the graduate MFA program at Chatham University, in the undergraduate writing program at The State University of New York at Purchase, classes and workshops for Creative Nonfiction Foundation, and is currently on the adjunct faculty of the Doctor of Ministry program in Creative Writing at the Pittsburgh Theological Seminary.  

A former international flight attendant, she lives in her hometown, Trafford, PA, with her husband, the author Dave Newman, and their children.  

After her adoptive mother’s death, Lori Jakiela, at the age of forty, begins to seek the identity of her birth parents. In the midst of this loss, Jakiela also finds herself with a need to uncover her family’s medical history to gather answers for her daughter’s newly revealed medical ailments. This memoir brings together these parallel searches while chronicling intergenerational questions of family. Through her work, Jakiela examines both the lives we are born with and the lives we create for ourselves. Desires for emotional resolution comingle with concerns of medical inheritance and loss in this honest, humorous, and heartbreaking memoir.

https://www.amazon.com/Belief-Its-Kind-Truth-Maybe/dp/1938769422

https://twitter.com/lorijakiela

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-jakiela-2555716

https://www.lorijakiela.net/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Oleg became an orphan at 9. But he's NOT a prisoner of the past. How has re-written his story to serve him? What has he learned that helps him thrive. Empowering and inspirational. Listen in with BIG ears.

Here's Oleg's story from his website:

I was nine years old when I became an orphan, but before I was an orphan, I grew up in a small, cold, and empty apartment in Russia with my older Sister, and an alcoholic Mother. We were born into poverty.

Living without a Father and with an alcoholic Mother forced me  to make difficult decisions at an early age. I needed to come up with creative solutions to everyday problems in order to survive, whether it was to bargain for food or to find a place to sleep. For me, developing an entrepreneurial mindset was not an option, but rather a necessity, even when I was only six years old.    

In 2005, I walked into a new family through adoption, in a new country, to start a new life.

At the time I knew that adoption was a step closer to a better life, but I did not know the things I would have to give up in order to have that better life.

Adoption taught me how to appreciate. I appreciated the warmth of home filled with love and respect that my parents offered me.

The transition from poverty to affluence was more than an outer transformation; it required me to go through an inner transformation too. I had to become comfortable with change in order to survive.

Children, who are adopted, have no option, but to change. They have no option, but to give up pieces of themselves, such as their birth name, their birth family, friends, their native language, culture and memories.

With the love and support of my family, I was fortunate to overcome these changes. In fact, I was fortunate to experience two spectrums of life: from poverty to wealth. I was not only fortunate to be adopted by a caring loving family, but also to have the opportunity to graduate from both high school and college.

I entered Kent State University with a passion to study Russian, as a way to keep in touch with my birth family in Russia. Though soon into my college career, I also gravitated towards entrepreneurship, with the realization that I was already an entrepreneur.  On a broader scale, I realized that my life had a mission, a mission that required me to learn from my own journey, and to contribute to a greater cause. A cause that has helped me to discover my purpose in life, which is to help individuals live a better life, despite their hardship and misfortunes.

At age 23, I finally decided to stand up and speak up. I realized that despite still being an orphan, I am no longer alone. I am no longer scared. I am no longer defined by a word.

Overcoming struggles can be challenging, but I promise YOU, if you surround yourself with people who have gone through challenges, the process becomes much easier.

I know this because I have done so.

If my mission speaks to you, please join me in helping individuals around the world Stand Up & Speak Up. 

https://www.instagram.com/overcomingodds

https://www.facebook.com/overcomingodds.today

https://twitter.com/_overcomingodds

https://www.overcomingodds.today/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Transracial adoptee Matthew shares how he's found clarity and resolved confusion about who he is to find peace. There are insights aplenty on shame, feeling different and a host of other issues that can plague transracial adoptees.

Here's the book I mention https://www.amazon.com/Power-vs-Force-Dr-David-R-Hawkins-audiobook/dp/B000KZRMCO

MATTHEW SALESSES is the author of eight books, including The Sense of Wonder, which comes out in January 2023 from Little, Brown. Most recent are the national bestseller Craft in the Real World (a Best Book of 2021 at NPR, Esquire, Library Journal, Independent Book Review, Chicago Tribune, Electric Literature, and others) and the PEN/Faulkner Finalist and Dublin Literary Award longlisted novel Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear. He also wrote The Hundred-Year Flood; I’m Not Saying, I’m Just Saying; Different Racisms: On Stereotypes, the Individual, and Asian American Masculinity; The Last Repatriate; and Our Island of Epidemics (out of print). Also forthcoming is a memoir-in-essays, To Grieve Is to Carry Another Time.

Matthew was adopted from Korea. In 2015 Buzzfeed named him one of 32 Essential Asian American Writers. His essays can be found in Best American Essays 2020, NPR Code Switch,The New York Times Motherlode, The Guardian, VICE.com, and other venues. His short fiction has appeared in Glimmer Train, American Short Fiction, PEN/Guernica, and Witness, among others. He has received awards and fellowships from Bread Loaf, Glimmer Train, Mid-American Review, [PANK], HTMLGIANT, IMPAC, Inprint, and elsewhere.

Matthew is an Assistant Professor of Writing at Columbia University. He earned a Ph.D. in Literature and Creative Writing from the University of Houston and an M.F.A. in Fiction from Emerson College. He serves on the editorial boards of Green Mountains Review and Machete (an imprint of The Ohio State University Press), and has held editorial positions at Pleiades, The Good Men Project, Gulf Coast, and Redivider. He has read and lectured widely at conferences and universities and on TV and radio, including PBS, NPR, Al Jazeera America, various MFA programs, and the Tin House, Kundiman, and One Story writing conferences.

https://matthewsalesses.com/

https://www.instagram.com/m.salesses

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Nicole pledged to herself that she'd search for her birth mother at the tender age of 4. Now in 60's she has been in reunion for over half her life. Like many of us she felt torn -  lost in 'the space between'. She shares how she's found herself to feel comfortable in her own skin. Listen up for your own insights on navigating reunion and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Here's a bit about Nicole from her website

An adult adoptee, I'm the author of a reunion memoir, Swimming Up the Sun, which I've adapted as a stage play. I've given numerous presentations and workshops at conferences and advocate for adoptee human rights and adoption reform.

Find out more about her and watch videos about adoption at https://www.nicolejburton.com/bio

https://www.facebook.com/ApippaPublishingCompany/

https://twitter.com/nicoleburton

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Listen in as Melissa shares what she's learned after coming out of the fog and finding her true, authentic self. We go deep on higher self-esteem, spotting gaslighting and more. Profound and surprising. There's more to fog than adoption....

Melissa is an adoptee and the host of Mind Your Own Karma-The Adoption Chronicles Podcast. She is passionate about educating the world about adoption after discovering so many adoptees hurting deeply by their relinquishment experiences. By inviting anyone in the adoption constellation to tell their stories on her show, she hopes to educate the world on the truths of adoption from all involved. She strongly believes that until the triad comes together in unity, there will be no positive change in the adoption narrative. Melissa says she is an adoption survivor and thriver now that she has discovered the key to coming out of the fog and living a life that she loves.

https://www.instagram.com/mind_your_own_karma/

https://www.facebook.com/mindyourownkarma

https://www.facebook.com/melissaannbrunetti

https://linktr.ee/Mindyourownkarma

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

This episode is all about one of the most dramatic turnarounds we've ever heard on the podcast. Lorah used to think that God hated her. That she was a demon. That her soul was shattered. Reunion shook her to the core. So what changed? Listen into her profound shifts. Let them catalyse shifts in you.

Here's a link to the Rupert Spira video on trauma I mentioned https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7xz2GB89Oc

Here's more about Lorah from her website:

Welcome! Here’s a little bit about me. I am The Adopted Chameleon on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and Pinterest. I found writing and being creative was therapeutic. I started these pages when I was at a very low point until I found solace in the adult adoptee community. This group knows my pain and understood how I feel. I felt seen and heard for the first time. I had a language and was able to better express what I needed to heal.  Being vulnerable and talking about my pain has helped me. Now I write to help myself as well as others. 

I am a trained Kundalini yoga instructor, TIYT-Trauma Informed Yoga Therapy, instructor, Reiki Master, and Intuitive. With my training in energy healing, trauma and breathe work training, I have studied methods that help with the healing process. Working with these tool I have learned to better understand my own trauma. I use my training to help myself and others. When we heal ourselves, we heal the world.

Having worked for Whole Foods Market for almost 7 years as their Marketing Team Leader, I relearned what whole, unprocessed food was. I enjoyed hosting many cooking classes, healthy eating events and, in turn, cleaned up my own diet. When I was young, my adoptive parents and I grew our own food. Food is important to our physical and mental well-being. I learned what foods to eat for optimal health. 

I was born with abilities that allow me to see/feel/hear things that other people may not. I found out after reunion with my siblings, that a strong intuition ran in my genetic family on both sides, as well as with my adoptive mother. With my intuition and my training, I have come up with ways to help myself and offer to help others.

Using all these tools, I have helped myself manage the trauma that adoption caused me. I had some life-changing events that have sent me on this path. This healing power lies within all of us. I will share my knowledge and training, to help you unleash your own healing power. 

I am an adoptee finding her way without her roots.

https://lorahgerald.com/

https://www.instagram.com/theadoptedchameleon/

https://www.pinterest.com/lorahwg/the-adopted-chameleon/

https://www.tiktok.com/@theadoptedchameleon

https://twitter.com/adptdchameleon

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2Ov54pUZ-uUNrGoqmZd33g

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Kirsten never wanted to be stuck. So how did she become unstuck from her trauma? So she could heal, grow and move forward. How did she keep going when it got really scary and would have been easier to turn back. Listen in to a very powerful and empowering episode.

Here's a bit about Kirsten  and her book from her website:

 I was born and immediately relinquished for adoption in Pennsylvania in 1971. I have spent the last ten years unraveling what that means for me. It is a never-ending journey with no clear road map. I have been in reunion with my first mom since 2017.

I currently reside in Montana with my husband and the two kids who still live at home. The other three kids are out adulting on their own, and I am lucky enough to have them all live nearby.

“Finding My Way Home” is a journey. It is a journey across the ocean, across the country, and out of the adoptee fog. The roadmap that was hidden away by a 1970’s closed adoption is unearthed, and the trail begins to clear. It leads not only to place, but to people. The trip covers countless miles and spans years of time that eventually lead right back to the only person who was there for every step of the journey, the author herself. It is a tale of physical travel that parallels the personal quest many adoptees struggle to navigate, the pathway to knowing themselves.

More at:

https://nomoremisfit.com/

https://www.instagram.com/nomoremisfit/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Feeling like an outsider. So many of us felt like that growing up. And that feeling has stayed with us into adulthood. Listen in as Leah shares her journey to feeling at home. Fitting in. Comfortable in her own skin. It's NOT a straight or straightforward. But there's insights aplenty. Listen in for your own. This episode is a real catalyst.

Here's a link to Leah's interview with Haley https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/202

Here's more about Leah's project for adoptees:

BACKGROUND: In My Heart: The Adoption Story Project began in 2014 in collaboration with 200+ people in the adoption community sharing their true stories with Wonderlust Productions. In 2016, the play, written and directed by Alan Berks and Leah Cooper, was performed to enthusiastic, sold-out audiences at Mixed Blood Theatre in Minneapolis, MN by a 34-member cast and live band, including professional actors and members of the adoption community.

The graphic novel, adapted from the play, reflects a full spectrum of community perspectives ranging from adoptees to social workers, adoptive parents to birth parents, foster families, and beyond. Contributors span the ages of 14 to 80 and include voices from the African American, Native American, and Korean American communities. This book explores adoption and its complexities--examining concepts of family and intersecting with issues in society related to law, class, and identity.

BOOK DESCRIPTION: Alice is getting married, and her sister Jen is returning from Korea to be with her. But when they meet Lewis's parents at the engagement party, the realities of adoption send them down the rabbit hole―where the feelings they've tried to ignore come to life in fantastical forms. Based on and including the true stories of adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, social workers, and siblings, In My Heart captures the delight and darkness of an experience that touches one in three people. It will change forever how you think about family.

https://wlproductions.org/inmyheart/

https://www.instagram.com/wonderlustprod/

https://www.facebook.com/wonderlustproductions

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.