Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

If you are afraid you are definitely not alone. Fear is a familiar feeling for all parents but adoption can take it to another level. That's what adult adopted person and retired adoption professional Lynn Deiulis learned working in adoption for 25 years. In this fascinating and empowering episode we get to the very heart of that fear so you can parent with less of it, thrive and help your kids thrive too.

Lynn Deiulis was placed on adoption at the age of nine months. Her adoptive parents were advised to raise her as their own and forget where she had come from. Her parents followed this advice, and adoption became an uncomfortable topic. Her mother would answer Lynn’s adoption questions, but the emotion in her mother’s eyes eventually made Lynn stop asking. Lynn grew up not knowing how or whom to ask her many questions. As an adult, Lynn found and met some of her paternal and maternal birth family members and was able to learn much about the genetic and familial information she grew up without. As a result, she has been able to piece together more of her story.

Lynn holds a Bachelor of Arts in Child and Youth Care and enjoyed a twenty-five year career in adoption services. Lynn has worked with many members of the adoption triad (children, birth parents, adoptive parents) as well as foster care and kinship families. She co-facilitated support groups where adult adopted persons, and birth parents, could freely share their unique stories and learn how and where to get some of their questions answered.

​Her personal and professional journey sparked a passion to write a book that offers an opportunity for children to learn the unique details of their adoption or kinship stories, and helps adults talk to children about how they came to be living together as a family or living with another family. She also hopes the book will help professionals who work with children living through all phases of the adoption or kinship journey. Lynn resides in Northern Ontario, where she enjoys spending time with her husband and family, especially her grandchildren.

The relationship between the author and the illustrator has a unique quality. Krista Donnelly and Lynn are birth half sisters who met each other as adults in 2018. Separated by the adoption process, Krista and her three full sisters grew up not knowing that two older half sisters existed. When Lynn decided to write this book, she reached out to her “new sister” who is a talented graphic designer. Krista brought the book’s characters to life while building a relationship with Lynn at the same time. Krista learned about the impact on Lynn of growing up as an adoptee, while Lynn learned about the impact on Krista of discovering she had two birth half sisters she never knew existed! Their new mutual understanding of the impact of adoption has enriched this book. Lynn and Krista hope this book will help children and families talk about these unique stories long before the children become adults.

Links to buy the book and more: 

https://www.whatisyourstorybook.com/

https://www.facebook.com/whatisyourstorybook

https://twitter.com/AuthorLynnD

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCampCrQmQomhUskZ8-9fzcg/featured

https://www.instagram.com/authorlynnd/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Self worth is THE issue for us all. How we see ourselves determines how we see the world. Allison and I both had profound insights about self worth during our conversation. How we see ourselves shifted. So this is a must listen to episode for both adoptees and adoptive parents. If you're an adoptee you're going to want to listen for yourself. If you're an adoptive parent you're going to want to listen for yourself so you can deeper your own understanding. We can't share what we don't have. We can't teach what we don't understand. We can't point at what we haven't seen clearly for ourselves. Perhaps my favourite episode in over 200 so far.

Being both an adoptee and an adoptive parent, Allison Olson has a unique perspective on the topic of adoption. Her goal is to build confidence and self-esteem in young adoptees by changing the adoption narrative from the “lucky" child to the “loved" child.  Allison lives in Oregon with her husband, two daughters, and their cat named Howie Meowie.

Her award winning book Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Stor

 https://www.amazon.com/Surrounded-Love-Adoption-Story-Stories-ebook/dp/B0BFFBC2KG/ref=sr_1_1?crid=10K696TQGNZIE&keywords=surrounded+by+love+an+open+adoption+story&qid=1664835693&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjAwIiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=surrounded+by+love%2Caps%2C428&sr=8-1

Find out more at:

www.ouradoptionbooks.com

 https://www.instagram.com/kidsbooksbyallisonolson/             

https://www.facebook.com/KidsBooksbyAllisonOlson             

 https://www.tiktok.com/@kidsbooksbyallisonolson?lang=en         

 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCncFIED_AB5VjcFee7fEUhg

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We adoptees have lots of thoughts about adoption. Those thoughts decide how we feel. But what if those thoughts are wrong? And what if being wrong helps us heal? Ed and I explore how his curiosity let him to new discoveries and the truth. He's a great guy with a huge heart for helping us all. Hope you learn as much as I did!

Edward Di Gangi was adopted at birth in New York City. An only child, he made no effort to explore his heredity until, at age 69, a visit to a cemetery where members of his adoptive mother's family were buried stirred his interest.
​
Over the past three years, through extensive archival research and DNA testing, Ed has peeled back the layers of his once unknown family.

Set in the 1940s, as America emerged from the Great Depression and went to war,  Ed's book, The Gift Best Given, recounts the search for his family and tells the story of a young woman's courage as she overcame obstacles to achieve her dreams. 

Ed and his wife, Linda, live in Hillsborough, North Carolina.  Their son, James and his fiancee, Renee, live in nearby Durham.

https://www.digangiauthor.com/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100052046681375

https://www.instagram.com/digangiauthor/

https://www.digangiauthor.com/copy-of-purchase-my-book

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Where do we find happiness? Is it nature or nurture? Adoptee Charlotte came through some very tricky times in her adoptive family including her mother's suicide. What's she learned along the way? How has she become who she is? How has focusing on others has helped her be happy. Listen in for a very empowering episode.

Dr. Charlotte Laws is an author, columnist, and public speaker. She was the star of the NBC show, “The Filter” (4 years), a political pundit on BBC television (6 years), and a southern California politician (councilmember and city commissioner - 8 years). She has had over 30 different jobs, some quite unusual: lecturer at the FBI Academy in Quantico, private eye, director of a legal corporation, cab driver, actress, chip chatter, fashion designer, nurse, backup singer for an Elvis imitator, bodyguard, magazine cover girl, Realtor, stand-up comic, et al. She was an Atlanta debutante. She has never had a glass of alcohol, a cigarette, or tried an illegal drug. Laws was born in a car and adopted at birth. Her adoptive brother was killed at 16, her adoptive father was abusive, and her adoptive mom committed suicide. As an adult, Charlotte tracked down her natural family (mother, father, and two siblings) and enjoys a loving relationship with them to this day. Laws’ natural grandfather—a lawyer who planned to run for U.S. Senate—was murdered by a devil worshipper in the 1940s. She wrote the nonfiction novel, Devil in the Basement, about his life and death. 

Laws is listed as the fourth most notorious party crasher in the world, beating Bill Murray, Queen Elizabeth, Serena Williams, and Lady Gaga. Party crashing began as a hobby for Laws in her teens, but later became a creative way to snag facetime with business leaders, politicians, and A-list celebrities in order to lobby for legislation, attain business partners, get exclusive interviews, and recruit charity volunteers. Laws has crashed the Secret Service four times. Laws was voted “one of the 30 fiercest women in the world” by Buzzfeed and is the recipient of the Los Angeles Animal Humanitarian Award. She is a vegan and animal advocate. Her hen, Mae Poulet, was a write-in candidate in the 2012 presidential election and is the only chicken in the world who has run for political office. Laws authored the 2016 California ballot initiative, the “Intolerant Jackass Act,” to support LGBTQ+ rights and worked for Aids Project Los Angeles during the 1980s. 

Laws has a doctorate from USC (2000), two Masters Degrees from USC (1997 and 1986), and two BA degrees (1996 and 1985). She completed Post-Graduate Study at Oxford University, England (2003). Laws authored the following books: Meet the Stars, Rebel in High Heels, Armed for Ideological Warfare, Devil in the Basement, and Undercover Debutante. She contributed chapters to the following academic works: Igniting a Revolution: Voices in Defense of Mother Earth, A Call to Compassion, Uncaged, and Animals and the Environment: Advocacy, activism and the quest for common ground. As a columnist, Laws’ articles (on news and current events) have appeared in the Huffington Post, the Los Angeles Times, the NY Daily News, the Washington Post, Newsweek, Special Report, E the Environmental Magazine, the L.A. Daily News, Gawker, the Daily Caller, Publisher’s Weekly, Jezebel, the Oakland Tribune, Salon, et al. 

Laws has appeared as a guest on dozens of television shows and networks, including “Larry King Live,” “Oprah,” MSNBC, CNN, “The Late Show,” BBC, TMZ, Fox News, “AM Los Angeles,” “Nightline,” “Dr. Drew,” and “Good Day L.A,” among others. After a topless photo of Laws’ daughter was hacked and posted on a revenge porn website, Laws worked tirelessly for two years to bring the website owner to justice. He eventually went to prison. Laws is known throughout the world as the “Erin Brockovich of revenge porn.” To date, she has helped over 500 victims of nonconsensual pornography, sextortion, and morphed porn. She has also assisted legislators in getting anti-revenge porn laws passed throughout the U.S. and hopes a federal law will be in place soon.

Laws lives in Los Angeles with her husband, her two rescue dogs, and her seven rescue hens. She loves tennis, dead philosophers, collecting vintage clothes, nature, and animals. She tries to live her life in accordance with ahimsa: non-injury to all living beings. She believes persistence is the key to success and “othercentrism” (helping others) is the key to happiness.

Check out her memoir at

http://rebelinhighheels.com/

https://twitter.com/CharlotteLaws

https://www.instagram.com/drcharlottelaws

http://undercoverdebutante.com/

https://charlottelaws.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Did you immerse yourself in learning before adopting and yet still feel you're learning on the job? You're not alone. Adoptive mum/mom Susan has 3 kids all in their twenties. She STILL feels she's learning on the job. Learning never stops. Getting that in our bones reduces the frustration and impatience we sometimes feel. There's always more to learn so Susan shares her insights into connecting with our kids which lies at the foundation of our relationship with them. Relationships start with us. Insightful, emotional and profound.

Here's more about Susan from her website:

I am a Michigander: Midwest kind and smiley, except in February when I get a little ornery from the gray sky and knee-deep snow. I am married to Mike, and we have three children who were adopted from Russia. We like watching movies together, hanging by the campfire, mountain biking, and traveling internationally. Yes! We loved visiting Prague in 2021. I have an MA in communications and co-authored Before You Were Mine: Discovering Your Adopted Child’s Lifestory, published by Zondervan. I’ve always sought ways to help my kids process this piece of their story. 

I’ve put together a collection of stories for teens told to me by adoptees from across the country. Let me just say loudly that these people are AMAZING and INSIGHTFUL. They taught me so much, which in turn I share with you. I love it when people use their stories to lift others up. In We’ve Been There, teens 16 and older will find a range of stories that truly reflects how adoptees feel and process things in their teen years. It is a long-overdue connection point, a gift from one adoptee to another to remind them they are not alone.  

https://susantebos.com/

https://www.facebook.com/SusanTeBos.Author

https://www.instagram.com/susanteboswriter/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Mary Beth has 7 kids including 2 adopted from China and one from foster care. Ahead of our conversation she talked to her kids about what what helps them thrive. We talk about this and go deep into the meaning of adoption, taking things personally, empathy and understanding.

Here's a bit about Mary Beth's non profit: We want to see all waiting children placed in a family in which they can thrive. To that end, we will work to facilitate the adoption of the worlds waiting children into loving christian homes by giving financial assistance to families, and advocating for those children who are waiting in institutions or in foster care.

http://www.betheone1.org/

https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/unpacking-our-own-baggage-as-adoptive-parents-with-hollyann-petree-mom-executive-director

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Adoptee writers Alice and Marci go deep on changing the narrative around around adoption. We explore changing the narrative out there in the world and the narrative within. What others say about us and what we say to ourselves. It's all about self-empowerment, healing, sharing and learning from others. Listen in for a great conversation with two people who really know how to inspire themselves and other adoptees.

MARCI CALABRETTA CANCIO-BELLO

Founding Co-Director

Marci Calabretta Cancio-Bello is the author of Hour of the Ox (University of Pittsburgh, 2016), which won the Donald Hall Prize for Poetry. She is the co-translator of Yi Won’s The World’s Lightest Motorcycle (Zephyr Press, 2021). Her work has appeared in Catapult, Kenyon Review Online, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, and elsewhere. She has received fellowships from the American Literary Translators Association, the Knight Foundation, and Kundiman, among others. She is co-director for PEN America Miami/South Florida Chapter, and a program coordinator for Miami Book Fair.

ALICE STEPHENS

Founding Co-Director

Alice Stephens’ debut novel, Famous Adopted People, was published in 2018 by Unnamed Press. Her work has appeared in LitHub, The Los Angeles Review of Books, The Margins, Banana Writers, and other publications, and has been anthologized in Volume IX of the DC Women’s Writers Grace & Gravity series, Furious Gravity (2020), and Writing the Virus (Outpost19, 2020). She is a co-facilitator of the Adoptee Voices Writing Group, editor of Bloom, and writes book reviews and a column, Alice in Wordland, for the Washington Independent Review of Books.

The Adoptee Literary Festival brings together writers who self-identify as having been adopted, fostered, or otherwise displaced to share their stories, make their voices heard, and reshape the narrative of adoption which has for too long been dominated by adoptive parents and the adoption industry. Covering all genres, the festival highlights writing that makes adoptees the subject, rather than the object, of their own stories. Respectful of diverse opinions, we recognize that every adoption story is different, and celebrate all genuine voices that seek to educate, engage, and nurture.

https://twitter.com/adopteelitfest

https://www.facebook.com/adopteelitfest/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv5oxhKLCtMD7mxzkQwvmFg/about

https://www.instagram.com/adopteelitfest/

https://www.adopteelitfest.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

If you're an adoptee looking to find your birth parents, listen in. Jay shares over 30 years of knowledge on both the practical and emotional aspects of search. A fantastic big picture overview with lots of great little nuggets. 

Birthparentfinder.com is the creation of Jay Rosenzweig, an award-winning California private investigator. Jay has been licensed for over 30 years and has spent the majority of his career focused on locating people. In 2006, after receiving numerous requests by adoptees resulting in reunification with their families, he started BirthParentFinder.com. Since it's inception, it's been recognized as one of the leading national online companies for finding birth parents and biological relatives.

BirthParentFinder.com

https://www.facebook.com/birthparentfinder

https://twitter.com/parentsfinder

https://www.instagram.com/birthparentfinder/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAjrXYaZDHwba5eqKaN5wMg/featured

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

We've all felt shame - it's part of the human experience. But beyond it lies the peace we seek for ourselves and those we love. So how do we get to the other side of shame? Marcy and I go DEEP into this in one of my favourite conversations so far. We hope you love it too.

Here's how Marcy describes herself on her website: 

Jesus-follower, mom to 4 humans, two adopted through the foster system and two biological, multi-passionate mompreneur, best-selling author, international and 2xs TEDx speaker, networker, and mentor. 

My mission is to help people uncover and present their stories to help them finetune their uniqueness, empower their lives, and to maximize their potential. Here, we work together to create safe spaces and connections so that others feel worthy of value and love.

Watch her Tedx Talks:

How Story Empower Kids to Shape Our World

You Are More Than Your Traumatic Experiences

Find out more at:

https://www.facebook.com/MarcyPusey/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcypusey/

https://www.instagram.com/marcymarie/

https://marcypusey.com/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.