Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Lindsay Hermida worked in the foster care system for six years prior to joining the Heart Gallery team in 2014. She initially began working with newly licensed foster parents before transitioning to work specifically with prospective adoptive parents and helping to match waiting children to their forever families. She has also worked for Eckerd Community Alternatives as an Operations Specialist and liaison between Eckerd and case management agencies. Helping children find their forever families has been the most fulfilling thing Lindsay has ever done both personally and professionally. Through her work with the Heart Gallery, she is now able to make a direct impact on the lives of children waiting to be adopted through her work as the Executive Director.

Every child deserves love. So, we created the Heart Gallery of Tampa to find forever families for Tampa’s foster children. These kids are just like any other kids, only they’ve experienced abuse, abandonment, and neglect. They find themselves in foster care through no fault of their own. What they need most is a family. The Heart Gallery gives them a face, a voice and a place to shine. Give your heart… adopt.

https://heartgallerytampa.org/

https://www.instagram.com/heartgallerytpa/

https://www.facebook.com/HeartGalleryTampa/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

The title may cause some to question this episode or simply not listen to it. I chose the topic out of deep respect for Herbie's beliefs and because I know a lot of adopters are religious too. I was also curious as to where we'd go. I'm not a religious person but my own healing experience appears to be more spiritual than psychological. More magic than logic. That's why healing can't be set out in a step by step rational process. Rewiring our brains isn't like rewiring a plug. It's magical. I would suggest that from a religious perspective God is the source of the magic.

Perhaps our kids trauma happened before they came into our homes. Perhaps it happens in trying to figure it out. Herb talks about how God's grace helps us heal. We take a deep and religious dive that's all about everyone's intrinsic value. Hugely profound, we explore humility and self awareness. The better we understand ourselves the better able we are to help our kids understand themselves. The clearer we can see our own worth, the more clearly we can point our kids towards their own worth. The worth that lies underneath the trauma waiting to be revealed.

Here's a link to the last interview with Herbie https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/herbie-newell-president-executive-director-pYbKfULK

Herbie is the President & Executive Director of Lifeline Children’s Services and its ministry arms. He holds a Master’s of Business Administration in Accounting from Samford University. He worked with WAKM Companies, LLC, a prominent accounting firm, for several years as an independent auditor before being led to Lifeline in 2003 as Executive Director. From January 2004 to December 2008, he served as the president of the Alabama Adoption Coalition and was chosen as a Hague Intercountry Adoption evaluator and team leader by the Council of Accreditation. Under Herbie’s leadership, Lifeline has increased international outreach to 25 countries through adoption and strategic orphan care, obtained licensure in 12 states, attained membership into the ECFA (Evangelical Council on Financial Accountability), and established the foster care arm at Lifeline. Herbie has spoken at many events concerning adoption and the Church’s response to orphan care, including the National Council for Adoption, Christian Alliance for Orphans, Together for Adoption, Care Net and the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission.

Having witnessed the plight of older orphans on many international trips, Herbie’s burden for the fatherless was a catalyst for forming (un)adopted in 2009, Lifeline’s strategic orphan care ministry focused on equipping orphaned and vulnerable children with life skills needed to bring about community transformation. During Summer 2013, Herbie and his family traveled for seven weeks throughout China, working with (un)adopted and orphanage partners. In Summer 2018, he and his family served for five weeks in Colombia with Lifeline’s adoption and orphan care partners.

Herbie and his wife, Ashley, live in Birmingham, Alabama, and are parents to son, Caleb, and daughters, Adelynn and Emily. Following her graduation from Samford, Ashley worked as Assistant Director of Sav-A-life, a Birmingham-based crisis pregnancy center, where she counseled hundreds of women on life-giving options for their babies.

Herbie and Ashley share a passion for the unborn, life, and adoption and desire to spend their lives advocating for the least of these.

Connect with Herbie at:

https://twitter.com/Hmnewell

https://www.linkedin.com/in/herbienewell/

Here's a summary from Lifeline's website 

"With a mission to equip the Body of Christ to manifest the gospel to vulnerable children, we know we cannot do this without one another. Whether through adoption, foster care, orphan care, or education and counseling, the mission is accomplished when churches live out James 1:27 in their communities and to the ends of the earth. Lifeline’s four decades of experience serves to assist families with international adoption in all 50 states, each of the U.S. territories and with U.S. citizens living abroad. Lifeline also serves women in unexpected pregnancies and families through domestic adoption."

More at:

https://www.facebook.com/lifelinechild

https://lifelinechild.org/

https://www.instagram.com/lifelinechild/

https://twitter.com/lifelinechild

https://vimeo.com/lifelinechild

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

How do transracial adoptees come to terms with feelings of loss and shame? Clare shares what she's learning as we dive deep into mental health and limiting beliefs. We also touch on physical health given her wake up call after being diagnosed with diabetes. Inspirational.

Check out Claire's amazing letter to herself here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uCIJtEfcEAkrz_NiZTjer_0JKB-kpyxMhbXrKZxzTKc/edit

Connect with her here:

https://www.facebook.com/claire.magenheimer

https://www.instagram.com/claire_magenheimer

https://www.linkedin.com/in/claire-magenheimer/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Life can be chaotic for all families. So how do get comfortable with the chaos? What do we focus on to help our kids thrive? How do we need to be so that happen? Danielle dives deep into humility, vulnerability, re-thinking our own past. Boldly being wrong about who we think we are and what we do changes our lives for the better.

Here are links to the book from my mentor that I recommend in the interview:

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9T/ref=sr_1_1?crid=34D7KHUUD05FN&keywords=Elizabeth+Ivory&qid=1660294268&rnid=2941120011&s=books&sprefix=elizabeth+ivory%2Caps%2C144&sr=1-1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Not-Your-Fault-Choosing-ebook/dp/B07957XB9T/ref=sr_1_2?crid=22513BOGT0UTN&keywords=elizabeth+ivory&qid=1660294218&sprefix=Elizabeth+Iv%2Caps%2C123&sr=8-2

Here's a bit about Danielle and the organisation she founded from her websites:

Danielle Gletow, a passionate children’s rights advocate for nearly 20 years is all too familiar with the disheartening state of the foster care system. As a former emergency placement guardian and now adoptive parent, Danielle witnessed the saddening circumstances surrounding the “forgotten children” of the system. Often times, babies, toddlers and adolescents are robbed of their blissful innocence, but Danielle has sought to bring love, hope and joy to each child through the work of her foundation, One Simple Wish. What began as a small startup in her Central NJ home with a personal $10,000 investment, has grown to a million dollar nonprofit serving children in 49 states through a network of more than 800 Community Partner agencies – the largest of its kind. She’s been able to empower everyday people to make direct and meaningful differences in the lives of foster children and at-risk youth one simple wish at a time and her efforts have not gone unnoticed. She has appeared on Nightline, The Harry Show, NBC Nightly News, CNN, The Kate Couric Show and has been featured in publications like Christian Science Monitor, The Star Ledger, The Washington Post and Woman’s World to name a few. She was also honored as one of the Most Influential Moms in America by Family Circle and chosen out of tens of thousands of nominees as a top 10 CNN Hero. Her heartfelt compassion and goodwill, despite her own disrupted childhood, have taught her to turn adversity into assets and she hopes to instill that within everyone she encounters—be it in front of an audience of fellow professionals or individuals she encounters in her every day life. Danielle’s witty, caring and invigorating demeanor make her relatable, as she touches on the topics of female empowerment, living with mental illness, childhood trauma and so much more. With a book in the works, she is a speaker not to be missed.

https://www.facebook.com/DanielleGletow/

https://twitter.com/DGletow

https://www.daniellegletow.com/

At One Simple Wish we believe that every child deserves love, hope and joy.

Every year nearly 500,000 children are impacted by abuse, neglect and trauma and spend time in our nation’s foster care system. It can be lonely, confusing and a bit scary. Through our innovative wish-granting platform, you can send some love to a child who needs it. When wishes come true, kids not only have a chance to just be kids, but they can also make important connections, experience new things and find their passion!

500,000+ kids spend time in foster care each year.

100,000+ kids are waiting to be adopted.

22,000+ young people age out without stable, permanent connections.

https://www.onesimplewish.org/

https://twitter.com/OneSimpleWish

https://www.facebook.com/onesimplewish

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Adoptee Emma shares what she's learned about how we break from addiction whether that's our thinking or other addictions like alcohol. It's a particularly profound episode. I hope you find it as powerfully enlightening and empowering as I did.

Emma Stevens is a U.S. domestic adoptee from birth and has survived layers of trauma that have put her on multiple journeys. She developed the inner strength and courage to surmount the many struggles she faced. Her traumas were born from being an adoptee who struggled with being forced to wear an impossible mask of playing the part of the “good adopted child.” Because being relinquished and adopted has colored her life, it’s Emma’s desire to be part of the movement that is dedicated to helping bring forth change to the way our world views the needs and support of adopted individuals. She believes strongly in adoptees finding their voice and discovering their truth to have a solid sense of self and to reclaim their identities. Through telling her story, Emma is dedicated to help redefine the narrative of adoption to include the entire complex truth.

https://mobile.twitter.com/emmastevenstgp

https://www.facebook.com/Emmastevens99

https://www.instagram.com/emmastevensthegatheringplace

When Emma learns her birth mother wrote and signed a letter about her to the adoption agency, she knew she had to have that letter if she were to ever discover her birth mother's true identity. Her birth mother had used a fictitious name at the maternity home and used an assumed name on Emma's original birth certificate. Emma takes bold measures to get ahold of that letter and start solving the puzzle that is her life.

Emma was adopted into a family that expected her to conform to their expectations of who she should be — but she did not arrive as a blank slate. Unable to see that her relinquishment and adoption were not her fault, her soul split into pieces. In order to put the pieces back together, Emma embarks on multiple journeys and adventures towards both solving the mystery of who she is, and healing from the pain of separation from her origins.

Emma powerfully describes a childhood and life profoundly affected by not knowing her true self. Has she ever known her true self?

It's a story of inner strength and perseverance where Emma welcomes all her parts of self to feel valued and seen. She fights to reunite her fractured soul through love and acceptance of herself, and of others. In a meditative and surreal state, under and around a big old oak tree with a simple wood-seated and rope swing attached, she accepts the invitation of integrating herself. And this reunion all takes place at The Gathering Place.

https://www.amazon.com/Gathering-Place-Adoptees-Story/dp/B09HH8PDGL

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gathering-Place-Adoptees-Story/dp/B09N54ZRRT

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

A low sense of self worth can plague adoptees. So how do we make our kids see their iron clad value? To be comfortable in their own skins? How does being a transracial adoptee play out in this issue which is in fact all about identity? What do we need to do to help our kids with this? Adoptive dad, counselor and professor Dr Mark Andrews shares his empowering answers to these tricky questions.

Here's a bit about Mark from his website:

"My own experience as an adoptive parent since 1994 has also reinforced my belief in the need for increased pre- and post-placement support and education for parents.  Like all adoptive parents, much of my and my wife’s experience was trial and error—especially in that we had not been parents previously. 

I have learned a lot over the past three decades!  I have “walked the walk” of experiencing both the mountains and valleys (and everything in-between) of the adoptive parent life. 

It is my passion to pass on what I’ve learned to other adoptive and foster parents.  Thus, in 2018 I concluded my time working in the mental health field to begin Adoptive Family Resources (AFR).  AFR is an initiative to provide support, resources and ongoing training for adoptive and foster parents in both the pre- and post-adoptive periods."

More at:

https://www.adoptivefamilyresources.org/

https://www.instagram.com/adoptivefamilyresources/

https://www.facebook.com/AdoptiveFamilyResources/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Mike's sense of self crumbled on finding out he was adopted at 9. It took him decades to become secure in himself. How did he? What can we learn to unleash our own greatness? How can we be more of who we truly are? Listen in with big ears.

Our greatest learnings often come from the toughest times. 

Here's a bit about Mike from his website:

"When I was nine, my parents told me I was adopted, and it shattered my sense of identity and belonging. After that point, I believed being “perfect” was the only way to avoid rejection and abandonment. For years, I chose to trust only myself.

It was only through finding the people I felt I belonged with and could trust, through sports, work, friends, and family, that I was able to build my confidence and truly believe in my ultimate success.

I call this group of people your personal trust community. In my own, my wife supports my emotional and social well-being. Father John supports my spiritual well-being. My personal trainer, Suzan, supports my physical well-being. They, along with several others, have helped me unleash my own greatness.

Seeing my own transformation using the help of my personal trust community spurred me to want to help others find their personal trust communities too.

I now help executives and individuals determine what’s holding them back, restore their dignity, and build personal trust communities in their lives and organizations to unleash their own greatness and achieve their goals."

More at:

https://mikethorne.co/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelbthorne/

https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_thorne_three_words_that_can_transform_our_lives_they_aren_t_what_you_think

https://adoptioncouncil.org/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Kelly thought that her experience raising 3 bio kids, her knowledge of trauma and qualifications in children and infant mental health would make raising her adopted child straightforward. It was anything but. Listen as we take a deep dive into what she learned and continues to learn. We explore helping kids adjust to new environments, building trust, vulnerability and more. Kelly's gift to listeners is her openness to share what she's learned about herself. Empowering and insightful.

Kelly founded The Sparrow Fund along with her husband Mark in 2011. She spearheads the Sparrow Counseling program for foster and adoptive children and their families along with Louie, a service-trained golden retriever. Kelly has a particular interest in (a) partnering with parents to help children understand their stories in healing ways; (b) encouraging, equipping, and empowering parents to experience healing relationship as they navigate the effects of trauma; and (c) helping caregivers and teachers of vulnerable children best experience the power of relationship. Kelly and Mark have been married since 1998 and have 3 biological children and 1 daughter who was adopted as a toddler from China in 2010. You can read more about Kelly’s professional background on the Sparrow Counseling page

The Sparrow Fund cares for caregivers, supporting families in foster care and adoption as well as those who care for vulnerable children. We give grants for families to receive individualized support as they build their family via adoption. We provide specialized counseling services. We offer training and connecting opportunities that encourage, equip, and empower caregivers. We seek to serve in orphanages and educational settings to care for caregivers who stand in the gap for vulnerable children

Find out more at:

https://www.instagram.com/sparrowfund/

https://www.facebook.com/TheSparrowFund

http://sparrow-fund.org/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Here's the link to the other podcast episode on unpacking our own baggage as adoptive parents that I mention in the interview 

https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/unpacking-our-own-baggage-as-adoptive-parents-with-hollyann-petree-mom-executive-director

Marcy and her husband adopted a biological sibling pair.

While remote schooling my children during the pandemic, she began to see a gap between adults with a desire to adopt and the 115,000 adoptable children within the United States. 

Marcy is the author: "Are You a Forever Family?" & "The Forgotten Adoption Option"

Host: The Forgotten Adoption Option Podcast

Facebook Community / Instagram / LinkedIn

www.forgottenadoptionoption.com

Meet waiting children and get tools to pursue foster care adoption.

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Connect with me at  www.simonbenn.co.uk 

email [email protected]

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.