April 08, 2019

To burn or not to burn the bridge - How to mend or end relationships in life, Ep14

41 minutes

Don't fear rejection because it's not about you, it's about them.

- You can not lose what you didn't have.

- If the relationship is strained then you are at a crossroad and something has to be done.

- DO NOT put other's needs above your own. It is time for you to heal and grow and move forward and step into a new you.

How would you act or respond in the conversation if you felt 100% WORTHY!?

1. Why is it important

When you choose to make a drastic, life-changing decision, you will have to take inventory of the people in your life.

Are they going to support the new you?

Are they going to drag you down or back to your old ways?

Are they going to want to join you?

2. What does saying goodbye look like?

It will end the way you set your intention for it to end.

you can NOT control how someone responds

you can only control the way you act and respond within the parameters of the conversation and moving forward when that person's name is brought up in conversation.

Set an intention for a positive outcome when you start the conversation with the person

Be honest

forthright

transparent

courteous

humble

gracious

3. Do I burn the bridge, stop crossing the bridge, cross the bridge, or ignore the bridge?

You have to do what's best for you regardless of how it impacts the other person.

Saying goodbye to a parent, relative, best friend, friend or acquaintance will be difficult if you don't talk honestly with that person and let them know what you are thinking.

The person could feel owed an apology or a grand gesture. You will choose to make amends or not - and once you have made that decision and acted on it, if they are still unable or unwilling to see you differently then you will have to choose whether that works for you in this stage of your sobriety and recovery.

4. How to have that conversation

Honestly and without a lot of emotional triggers.

If the conversation dissolves into an argument then nothing positive will be attained from that segment of the interaction.

Calm down, breathe - and reset

Realize you are arguing over the problem, not one another. The situation between the two of you is the issue at hand and calling back to memories of what each other did rather than figuring out better ways to deal with life moving forward will leave everyone chasing a tail that can't be caught.

5. What if it doesn't go great or what if it does go great?

The conversation started as one where you are ready to cut ties with the other person for a period of time - a day, week, month, year, FOREVER.

If it ends in a hug, handshake, fist bump - or anything other than middle-fingers, physicality, and/or violence then consider that a win.

If it goes well then the friendship is ready for mending and you take it slow.

Prove to each other that this change is for real and that the sentiment shown in the conversation was real and lasting.

Thank you so much for listening and being a part of this wonderfully supportive community. No longer are we living in the shadows!

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By Jesse Mogle

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