Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship

In today's episode, I go into the process of how you grow your self-worth when you have been / are in a trauma bonded relationship.

The thing is people who get attracted to and involved in trauma bonds tend to be people who already have a fragile sense of self.  If you were fully secure especially around your worth and self, the moment you experience criticism would be the moment you leave. But you don't.

The fragile self taps into personality types and attachment styles
- the achiever and / or perfectionist
- the avoidant or anxious attached

The key for self-growth is via the relationship you have with your self.

It is what you "do" to yourself and what it is you receive from your doing.

First it is imperative to let go of the self criticism to provide space to consider: What do I need to receive to heal?

Then you can act accordingly to ensure your doing and receiving sides are in alignment.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

Join me as I speak with Mark Yegge, founder of The Light Circle, Author and Wealth Architect as we talk about how trauma bonds affect your success in business.

 Workplace challenges arise from trauma bonding, where personal issues affect professional performance. Life's complexities, influenced by relationships and absorbed traumas, create a nuanced interplay. Recognition of colleagues' trauma signs involves understanding mirrors, where reactions reflect personal struggles. Emotional issues linked to relationships and traumas impact workplace success. Mirrors extend beyond external behaviors, offering self-discovery through life experiences. In turbulent relationships, the concept emphasizes self-worth reflections, not deserving mistreatment. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for fostering a healthier professional environment. 

Whether you're healing from trauma bonding, surviving infidelity, improving your relationship, solving relationship problems, and growing your self-worth, this is your place to be.

Lots of free resources accessible on www.healtraumaboding.com

Find me on IG @dr.sarahalsawy
LinkedIn: Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies

Mark Yegge - https://www.lightcircle.org/

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

Today I'm joined by Dr St Jon, a Psychotherapist, Spiritualist, and Author. Today we talk about issues of vulnerability, how this makes us more isolated within our relationships as well as in society at large. We discuss how we have grown more accustomed to being disconnected as a way of self-protection despite the damaging effects this can have.

If you want to use scientifically evidence based methods to heal trauma bonding, surviving infidelity, improving your relationships and self-love, contact me on:

www.healtraumabonding.com
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In today's discussion, I want to delve into the concept of losing oneself, particularly in the context of toxic and trauma-bonded relationships. Not everyone experiences toxic relationships, but those who do often have an insecure attachment style, typically anxiously attached. This attachment style stems from childhood experiences where love was inconsistent, conditional, or tied to meeting specific criteria. The desire for acceptance and love becomes conditional upon meeting external standards.

Entering a trauma-bonded relationship involves attracting individuals who mirror our anxieties, reinforcing subconscious beliefs. The brain forms neural pathways that perpetuate a cycle of seeking acceptance by conforming to external expectations. The constant pursuit of an idealized image leads to self-abandonment and a loss of identity.

As one enters a toxic relationship, the initial abundance of love and attention masks the looming criticisms and control that emerge later. Despite recognizing red flags, individuals remain in these relationships, entwining their identity with the relationship itself. The fear of rejection drives a continuous effort to meet perceived conditions for love.

To break this cycle and reclaim oneself, it's crucial to explore and accept the rejected parts of one's identity from childhood. This involves deep subconscious work, rewiring neural pathways, and embracing the concept that your existence is inherently acceptable. Stepping off the hamster wheel of conditional acceptance and focus

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

10 ways to heal your trauma bonded relationship in 2024!

Get your pens and paper ready to make notes! This is a beast!

1. Be ruthless with your mental health diet. People talk a lot about physical health as a new years resolution. I say have a mental health diet resolution.

2. Ask yourself: what lessons about relationships did I learn from my mum? What lessons about relationships did I learn from my dad? P.S. An absence of a relationship is still a relationship. Messages learnt between birth-7yrs will determine how you view and behave in adult relationships.

3. Sit with your younger self - enter this space and ask: what did you need? Invite adult you into the room and offer this.

4. Discover your relationship dynamics and traps - vicious cycles you get caught up in. Questionnaire I developed link in comments. Download and find your relationship trap. at www.healtraumabonding.com/relationship-trap

5. Take accountability. If you don't, you risk relying on the person who hurt you to rescue you - they do not need to validate you and you do not need to wait on them - this would be giving them control. You need to take your own control.

BONUS 5 - accountability by journaling daily asking yourself- a) how did I feel? b) how did I respond? c) what was the intended consequence? d) what are the unintended consequences?

6. Stop lying to yourself. You might unknowingly do this as your subconscious protects yourself, but it hurts you in the long run.

7. The part of you that's scared in the relationship, what is it looking for? How can you get this in the most intelligent and kindest way?

8. Sooth your nervous system - exercise 1 breathe in 4 beats and out 7 beats. Exercise 2 breathe in 2 inhalations (one long followed by one short) and out 1.

9. Step back and ask: am I keeping this situation to maintain relationship safety? Self safety? Or both?

10. Self-discovery. Start dating yourself. Show interest in yourself and remember - the way you treat yourself is what you receive.

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In this episode, sparked by a touching moment with my two-year-old, let's chat about self-love. When we've faced toxic relationships, the idea of self-love is thrown around, but it's not a quick fix. The real challenge lies in rewiring our subconscious minds, which govern 95% of our actions.

Early experiences matter. Babies, including us, need emotional care as much as physical safety. Fast forward to adulthood, and if you've been through trauma, self-love can feel elusive. Rewiring your brain is like a consistent gym routine for your mind, not an overnight fix.

Beyond clichés, let's get real about self-love. It's about rewiring, reprogramming, and healing. If you're feeling stuck, consider reaching out for support. There are programs and one-on-one sessions that can guide you through this journey. You deserve genuine self-love, and it starts with embracing a deeper, authentic connection with yourself.

You can find me on:
LinkedIn at Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

Today, let's chat about the challenge of setting boundaries in a trauma-bonded relationship. We often hear about the importance of boundaries in maintaining healthy connections, but it gets tricky when you're trauma-bonded.

In these situations, recognizing the need for a boundary mentally is one thing, but putting it into action feels almost impossible. You might psych yourself up to address an issue with your partner, only to find yourself unable to express your feelings when the moment arrives.

Trauma, especially in past relationships or childhood, imprints deep in our brains and subconscious, affecting our emotions and behaviors. When the neural networks associated with threats are triggered, expressing boundaries becomes a daunting task.

Historical traumas lead to subconscious beliefs about self-worth and relationship dynamics. Even when we logically grasp the importance of boundaries, the subconscious may resist, fearing rejection or criticism if we prioritize ourselves.

Neuroplasticity offers hope, allowing us to rewire our brain's neural pathways. Intense emotional moments, coupled with somatic exercises, help release trauma imprints, shifting us from a threat-response to a calmer state.

On the subconscious level, identifying and addressing fears attached to expressing boundaries is crucial. It goes beyond surface-level concerns, delving into core beliefs about self-deserving, fear of rejection, and the discomfort of stepping out of perceived lines.

By clearing these fears and reprogram

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

The podcast discusses the concept of vulnerable narcissists, addressing the common resistance to the idea that narcissistic individuals have vulnerabilities. I go through the five types of narcissism, starting with overt narcissism characterized by arrogance and a sense of superiority. Antagonistic narcissists enjoy arguments and manipulative control, while communal narcissists portray themselves as morally superior. Covert narcissists hide their traits but reveal them in intimate relationships, leading to gaslighting. Malignant narcissism involves deriving pleasure from others' suffering.

The focus then shifts to the vulnerable narcissist, emphasizing that despite appearing as aggressors, their behavior stems from childhood traumas and neglect. I explain how growing up with absent or abusive caregivers shapes their skewed perception of relationships. Vulnerable narcissists either maintain distance or attack as a defense mechanism, struggling with the basic human need for love. The discussion highlights the role of empaths in trauma bonds, attracted to the vulnerable side of narcissistic individuals despite their harmful traits. I encourage you to hold onto empathy and understanding while acknowledging the challenges of dealing with narcissistic behaviors.

You're welcome to get in touch via:
www.healtraumabonding.com
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma bonding and build meaningful connections. Save your marriage, start building secure relationships and optimizing your relationship wellbeing.

Get your FREE downloadable Relationship Health Quiz here: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz

If you would like to book in a free consultation call, please click here: https://calendly.com/healtraumabonding-info/30min

For more information, contact [email protected]

In today's discussion, I want to explore a question I've been asked recently—an important one that has recurred throughout my experiences. The question essentially boils down to whether the issues in a traumatic bond stem from the dynamics between the individuals involved, the abuser's inherent nature, or personal factors within oneself.

The answer, succinctly put, lies in all these components. Typically, in a trauma bond, one person exhibits narcissistic traits, presenting themselves as superior and prone to critical or threatening behavior. This individual is categorized as the "abusive party." On the other side is the person with empathic traits, high on the anxiety scale, is categorized as the "anxious empath."

The compatibility in this toxic dynamic arises from the anxiously attached person's vulnerabilities. When the abusive partner criticizes and manipulates, it aligns with the anxiously attached person's fears of inadequacy and abandonment. Similarly, the avoidant traits of the abuser, pulling away when things get too close, match the anxiously attached person's fear of rejection.

The key to breaking this cycle isn't changing the abuser but cultivating security and strength within oneself. The path to healing involves understanding that one cannot change others and focusing on personal growth and resilience. I encourage you to take steps toward your own healing, and for further guidance, check out a free video training on trauma bonding linked on my video here:

www.healtraumabonding.com/si

Support the show

Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.