Where Do We Go From Here?

In this episode, Ingrid Nishimoto shares an honest and deeply personal journey through faith, purity culture, religious trauma, health crises, and deconstruction. Drawing from her experience as a Korean American and second-generation immigrant, Ingrid reflects on how family, community, illness, grief, and changing beliefs shaped the way she understood herself, God, and her faith.

We explore the lasting impact of purity culture and abstinence messages, including how they can shape our sense of worth, agency, and relationship with our bodies. Ingrid also talks about the health crises that prompted her to question long-held theological beliefs and eventually reconsider ideas about the character of God.

A significant part of Ingrid's story is about navigating hereditary cancer risk and grief, and how experiences of uncertainty and loss contributed to her spiritual journey.

The conversation turns toward healing and what it can look like to move beyond simply questioning beliefs. Ingrid discusses therapy, EMDR, boundaries, self-compassion, and the process of reclaiming personal agency after religious trauma.

Ultimately, this episode is about making space for a faith that is no longer rooted in fear—a journey toward greater freedom, compassion, and a more life-giving understanding of God.

Bio:

Ingrid Nishimoto is a Korean American, second-generation immigrant whose personal journey has taken her through faith, purity culture, religious deconstruction, health challenges, and healing from religious trauma. Her experiences with hereditary cancer risk, grief, therapy, and EMDR have shaped a deep commitment to agency, self-compassion, and creating space for more life-giving ways of understanding faith. Through her story, Ingrid brings a thoughtful and honest perspective to the complexities of unlearning inherited beliefs while finding greater freedom, wholeness, and grace.

Links:

Connect with Ingrid on Instagram @ingridnishimototherapy

Ingrid's website: https://www.ingridnishimototherapy.com/

What happens when the Bible you once read as a source of certainty becomes a place where you have questions?

In this episode, Kristen, Emily, and EDJ explore what it can look like to read Scripture during and after evangelical deconstruction. Together, they unpack questions of biblical inerrancy, translation, authorship, interpretation, historical context, and the ways Scripture has sometimes been weaponized within faith communities.

Rather than approaching the Bible through fear, legalism, or the pressure to have all the "right" answers, this conversation explores a different way forward—one grounded in context, curiosity, love, and a willingness to ask honest questions.

The conversation also explores Jesus as a lens for interpreting Scripture, the Wesleyan Quadrilateral, the hermeneutic circle, and practical tools for engaging the Bible in a way that can support reconstruction and a more meaningful faith journey.

Whether you're questioning what you were taught, rebuilding your relationship with Scripture, or simply looking for a more thoughtful way to read the Bible, this episode invites you to approach the text with curiosity rather than fear.

Key Frameworks:

Wesleyan Quadrilateral — Scripture, tradition, reason, and experience as four lenses for theological reflection.

Hermeneutic Circle — The process of understanding individual biblical passages in light of the larger context and story of Scripture, while also allowing our understanding of those individual passages to deepen and refine our understanding of the larger whole.

Resources:

Inspired by Rachel Held Evans

Better Ways To Read The Bible by Zach Lambert

What is the Bible? By Rob Bell

What If Jesus Was Serious? By Skye Jethani

The Bible Says So by Dan McClellan

How the Bible Actually Works by Peter Enns

A Systematic Theology of Love by Thomas Jay Oord

EDJ and Jenna Dewitt sit down for a follow-up conversation about where Jenna has gone and grown since her interview with Jess and Devi in 2021. Jenna shares her journey as an aromantic, asexual, sapphic and celibate Christian, offering a fresh perspective on faith, identity, and belonging.

Together, we unpack the often-misunderstood experiences of aromantic and asexual people, challenge assumptions shaped by purity culture, and explore what it means to build truly inclusive faith communities.

Jenna explains the differences between aromantic and asexual identities, the meaning and history of the term sapphic, and why representation matters for people whose experiences are often overlooked—even within LGBTQIA+ spaces. She also reflects on her personal journey through evangelical Christianity, deconstruction, and discovering a more expansive, justice-centered faith.

Whether you're navigating your own spiritual journey, queer identity, supporting LGBTQIA+ loved ones, or simply curious about the intersection of faith and sexual identity, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope for a more inclusive future.

In This Episode

• What aromantic and asexual identities really mean—and the myths that surround them
• Why the term sapphic is broader than many people realize
• Jenna's story of faith, deconstruction, and embracing her identity
• Celibacy as a gift of freedom rather than a requirement
• How purity culture shapes our understanding of love, relationships, and sexuality
• Deconstruction can become a pathway to deeper, more authentic spirituality and self-acceptance
• Why many churches struggle to include LGBTQIA+ people—and what can change
• The importance of affirming community, belonging, and authentic faith
• Collective liberation reminds us that justice and love are inseparable.
• The future of progressive Christianity & practical ways churches and individuals can create more welcoming spaces

Connect with Jenna:

www.InvisibleCakeSociety.com

https://substack.com/@jennadewitt

https://www.instagram.com/jennadewitt/

In this episode, EDJ, Amy and Thea recap the 2003 romantic comedy Down with Love, a colorful homage to the glamorous screwball comedies of the early 1960s. Beneath its playful style, witty dialogue, and impeccable costumes lies a fascinating conversation about gender, feminism, workplace dynamics, and the cultural expectations of its era.

We explore whether the film succeeds as both a loving parody and a meaningful social critique, discussing where its satire lands—and where it falls short by today's standards.

In This Episode

• The performances, chemistry, costumes, and visual style that make the film memorable.
• The film's take on feminism, gender expectations, and the battle of the sexes.
• Romance, consent, and power dynamics in interpersonal relationships.
• How misogyny, homophobia, and outdated stereotypes are presented—and whether the movie critiques or reinforces them.
• Whether the movie's satire still resonates with fourth wave feminist audiences since this movie was made during the third wave of feminism
• How we'd update Down with Love perhaps in a 1980s context with a #metoo feminist lens projection of fourth wave feminism

What happens when everything you've been taught about faith, sex, and identity no longer makes sense?

In this episode, Mattie Jo Cowsert shares her powerful journey from growing up in conservative evangelical culture to questioning the beliefs that shaped her understanding of God, relationships, and herself. Raised in the heart of the Bible Belt, Mattie opens up about the lasting effects of purity culture, the emotional toll of shame-based theology, and what it looked like to rebuild her worldview after leaving fundamentalist Christianity.

Together, we explore how religious messaging impacts self-worth, why deconstructing faith can feel both terrifying and liberating, and how curiosity, critical thinking, and healthy relationships helped Mattie reclaim her sexuality and personal agency.

Rather than offering easy answers, this conversation invites listeners to think deeply about identity, spirituality, agency, and what it means to build a life rooted in authenticity instead of fear.

Whether you're navigating your own faith deconstruction, recovering from purity culture, or simply interested in conversations about religion, sexuality, and personal growth, this episode offers honesty, compassion, and practical insight.

Discussion Points:

• Mattie's evangelical upbringing in Missouri
• Purity culture affects far more than sex and reaches beyond the church community
• The hidden emotional cost of shame-based religious teaching
• Leaving certainty behind
• What faith deconstruction looked like for Mattie Jo
• Dating during deconstruction
• Rediscovering sexuality with intention and safety after evangelicalism
• Separating fear from personal values
• Building healthy relationships without religious expectations

• Marriage, commitment, and modern relationships
• Reinterpreting scripture

About Mattie Jo Cowsert

Mattie Jo Cowsert is a New York City–based actor, author, and storyteller whose work explores the intersection of evangelical culture, sexuality, identity, and personal freedom. Raised in a multigenerational evangelical family in Branson, Missouri, she began publicly documenting her journey out of Christian fundamentalism through her blog, God, Sex & Rich People. Her memoir, God, Sex, and Rich People: A Recovering Evangelical Testimony, expands on that story, examining purity culture, faith deconstruction, and the process of rebuilding a life rooted in authenticity. Mattie also develops film and television projects inspired by her work and advocates for thoughtful conversations around religion, sexuality, and healing.

Resources & Links

• God, Sex, and Rich People: A Recovering Evangelical Testimony by Mattie Jo Cowsert
• Mattie Jo Cowsert's website: https://www.mattiejocowsert.com/
• Mattie Jo Cowsert on Instagram @mattiejocowsert
• Purity Culture Recovery Guide by Erica Smith

A No Hard Feelings Chat with Jessica, Emily and Kristen

Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, rape, coercion, abuse of power, trauma responses, victim-blaming, and spiritual harm.

The story of David and Bathsheba is often taught as a cautionary tale about lust, adultery, and David's eventual repentance. But what changes when we read it through questions of consent, power, silence, and coercion?

In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jessica steps into the host seat with Emily and Kristen to explore the story of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 11 and 12. Together, they wrestle with whether David's actions can rightly be understood as sexual assault, why Bathsheba has so often been cast as a seductress or co-conspirator, and what it means to revisit one of the Bible's most beloved heroes with clearer eyes.

The conversation moves beyond the question of whether David committed adultery and asks harder questions about what consent could mean for a woman summoned by a king, in a patriarchal society where women had very little social, political, or bodily autonomy.

They also compare Bathsheba's story with Tamar's in 2 Samuel 13, including the different language used in the two passages, the role of women's voices in the narrative, and why the absence of visible resistance does not establish consent.

Finally, Jessica, Emily and Kristen sit with the difficult question: if David did sexually assault Bathsheba, what do we do with David now?

Can we still read his psalms? Can we recognise repentance without minimising harm? Can someone be spiritually significant, write beautiful things, and still be unsafe or deeply destructive in the lives of others?

In this episode, we discuss

• The familiar "David and Bathsheba had an affair" version of the story
• Bathsheba as a silent figure in a narrative centred on David
• The cultural and artistic sexualisation of Bathsheba
• Why the story has often been told through David's desire, guilt, repentance, and restoration
• The difference between explicit physical force and coercion through overwhelming power
• Why "she came to him" does not necessarily mean she freely consented
• Trauma responses including fight, flight, freeze and fawn
• The contrast between Bathsheba's silence and Tamar's voice in 2 Samuel 13
• Whether the absence of a particular Hebrew word settles the question of sexual assault
• Nathan's parable of the rich man and the ewe lamb
• Psalm 51, repentance, and the limits of a repentance story centered on the perpetrator
• Why David does not need to be either sanitized or cancelled
• What accountability, consequences, and redemption might mean in the story of David

A few questions to sit with

• Why have so many of us been taught to focus on David's repentance rather than Bathsheba's experience?
• What assumptions do we make when a woman does not visibly resist?
• What does consent mean when one person holds enormous political, social, and personal power over another?
• Can a person be gifted, spiritually significant, and still capable of serious harm?
• What does it mean to read Psalm 51 after taking Bathsheba's experience seriously?
• How might the church tell stories of repentance without making victims disappear?

References and further reading

Biblical texts

• 2 Samuel 11–12
• 2 Samuel 13
• Psalm 51
• 1 Kings 1–2
• Matthew 1:1–6

Scholarship and theological commentary

• Robert M. Davidson, "Did King David Rape Bathsheba? A Case Study in Narrative Theology."
• J. L. Andruska, work on David, Bathsheba, Dinah, and the lexical and syntactical case for sexual violation.
• Sara M. Koenig, "Bathsheba and Preaching in the #MeToo Era."
• Carmen Joy Imes, writing on David, Bathsheba, power, and consent.
• David E. Garland and Diana R. Garland, discussion of power, consent, and Bathsheba.
• Suzanne Scholz, Sacred Witness: Rape in the Hebrew Bible.
• Caryn Tamber-Rosenau, "Biblical Bathing Beauties and the Manipulation of the Male Gaze."
• Anne Létourneau, "Bathing Beauty: Concealment of Bathsheba's Rape and Counter-Power in 2 Samuel 11:1–5."

Articles and contemporary voices discussed

• Bonnie Kristian, "The Old Testament Calls Out Cancel Culture," Christianity Today.
• "Did David Rape Bathsheba?" GotQuestions.org.
• Clay Jones and Jean E. Jones, "Did David Rape Bathsheba?" Christian Research Institute.
• John Piper's comments on David and Bathsheba, as reported by Church Leaders.
• Rachael Denhollander's public comments on David, Bathsheba, power, and sexual violence.

Connect with us

We would love to hear what this episode stirred up for you, what challenged you, and what questions you are still holding.

Follow the podcast wherever you listen, and join the Patreon community for deeper conversations, bonus content, and space to explore the light and shade of deconstruction together.

Together, let's keep asking: Where do we go from here?

What happens when the faith community that teaches you about love also teaches you to reject a core part of who you are?

In this deeply personal and courageous conversation, Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez shares his journey through conversion therapy, evangelical church culture, and the long road toward self-acceptance. Drawing from his memoir, Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging, Tim reflects on eight years spent trying to change his sexuality in pursuit of acceptance from God, the church, and the people he loved.

Together, we explore the lasting effects of purity culture, shame-based theology, and exclusionary church teachings on LGBTQ+ individuals. Tim offers a candid look at his experiences within influential evangelical spaces and discusses the emotional, spiritual, and psychological costs of attempting to suppress one's identity in the name of faith.

This conversation is ultimately one of resilience, healing, and hope. Tim shares how he rebuilt a sense of belonging, reimagined his relationship with spirituality, and discovered that authenticity—not conformity—is the path to wholeness.

Whether you're navigating questions of faith, sexuality, identity, or healing from religious trauma, this episode offers a compassionate and honest exploration of what it means to belong.

About Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez is a writer, speaker, and digital strategist based in New York City. He is the author of Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging, a memoir chronicling his experiences with conversion therapy, evangelical church culture, and his journey toward self-acceptance. Through his writing and advocacy, Tim helps foster conversations around LGBTQ+ inclusion, mental health, religious trauma, and belonging.

Own Your Fertility

In this episode EDJ sits down with fertility Doctor Jaime Knopman to discuss IVF, egg freezing, miscarriage, endometriosis, and the realities of trying to conceive later in life.

Dr. Knopman shares why fertility conversations should begin much earlier than most people think, how egg freezing technology has evolved, and why infertility is not just a "women's issue." The conversation also explores IVF for same-sex couples, surrogacy, embryo freezing, and how fertility care changed during the pandemic.

This episode is an informative and compassionate look at modern fertility options, reproductive health, and family-building in today's world.

Key Points

• Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have.
• Fertility begins declining more significantly after age 32, with steeper declines after 35 and 40.
• Male infertility contributes to roughly one-third of infertility cases.
• Biochemical miscarriage and the commonality of miscarriage.
• Endometriosis can affect fertility through inflammation, reduced egg quantity, and physical obstruction.
• Egg freezing technology has dramatically improved through vitrification (rapid freezing).

• IVF success rates and misconceptions.
• IVF today often includes genetic testing of embryos to improve pregnancy outcomes.

• Surrogacy and reciprocal IVF.
• Fertility treatment and definitions of infertility are becoming more inclusive for same-sex couples and single parents by choice.
• Fertility insurance coverage changes.
• The emotional realities of fertility treatment.
• How the pandemic changed fertility care.

About the Guest

Dr. Jaime Knopman is a fertility specialist and co-author of Own Your Fertility. She works with individuals and couples navigating egg freezing, embryo freezing, IVF, surrogacy, and fertility preservation.

Podcast Update from EDJ:

The host shares a summer podcast schedule update, explaining that with children home during school holidays, episodes will continue on a lighter schedule through the summer months. Planned content includes:

• One episode of No Hard Feelings
• One episode of News and Views
• One RomCom Recap
• At least one interview episode each month

The host also mentions ongoing community conversations in "The Big Debrief" and invites listeners to connect there.

In this month's No Hard Feelings Chat, we unpack the popular concepts of soul ties and soulmates, exploring where these ideas come from, how they've been shaped by culture and faith, and whether they hold up under theological, psychological, and scientific scrutiny.

Together, we challenge fear-based narratives that emerged from purity culture, examine the difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy enmeshment, and discuss why healing from past relationships is possible. We also explore the myths surrounding "the one," love at first sight, and the belief that a person's worth is tied to their relationship status.

Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and personal experience, this episode offers a compassionate and nuanced perspective on love, connection, sexuality, and human flourishing.

Whether you're single, dating, healing from heartbreak, married, remarried, or simply rethinking what you've been taught about relationships, this conversation invites you to approach love with greater freedom, authenticity, and self-awareness.

Key points:

• What "soul ties" are and where the concept originated
• The phrase "soul tie" does not appear in the Bible but does appear in purity culture narratives!
• Biblical passages commonly used to support the idea of soul ties
• What neuroscience reveals about intimacy, bonding, and brain chemistry
• Intimacy can create powerful emotional bonds without permanently binding people together
• Healthy attachment versus enmeshment in relationships
• A debate around whether sex creates permanent emotional or spiritual bonds
• The theological idea that God is "all in all" and this bonds human beings "in Christ"
• The origins and appeal of the soulmate narrative
• The myth of finding "the one"
• Love develops over time through trust, commitment, and shared experience—not instant chemistry alone.
• The sacred value of singleness and personal wholeness
• How culture, religion, and media shape our expectations of romance
• Healing from toxic relationships, shame, and harmful beliefs
• Building relationships rooted in authenticity, boundaries, and mutual growth

Continue the conversation on Patreon:

www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod

What if hell has been misunderstood?

In this thought-provoking episode, we unpack one of Christianity's most debated doctrines and explore a radically different perspective on judgment, punishment, and the nature of God. Through personal stories of faith deconstruction, biblical exegesis, and theological reflection, EDJ challenges the traditional ideas of eternal conscious torment and eternal separation from God, examining whether the language of "fire" in scripture points more toward refinement and restoration than endless punishment.

The discourse dives into the tension between fear-based theology and unconditional love, asking whether reconciliation—not separation—is ultimately at the heart of the gospel. Along the way, we explore how concepts like discipline, correction, and salvation have been interpreted throughout church history, and what it means to read difficult biblical passages through the lens of love.

Whether you're questioning long-held beliefs, reconstructing your faith, or simply curious about alternative theological perspectives, this episode invites you into a deeper and more nuanced conversation about hell, justice, and the character of God.

Full episode on Patreon.com/wheredowegopod