What happens when the faith community that teaches you about love also teaches you to reject a core part of who you are?

In this deeply personal and courageous conversation, Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez shares his journey through conversion therapy, evangelical church culture, and the long road toward self-acceptance. Drawing from his memoir, Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging, Tim reflects on eight years spent trying to change his sexuality in pursuit of acceptance from God, the church, and the people he loved.

Together, we explore the lasting effects of purity culture, shame-based theology, and exclusionary church teachings on LGBTQ+ individuals. Tim offers a candid look at his experiences within influential evangelical spaces and discusses the emotional, spiritual, and psychological costs of attempting to suppress one's identity in the name of faith.

This conversation is ultimately one of resilience, healing, and hope. Tim shares how he rebuilt a sense of belonging, reimagined his relationship with spirituality, and discovered that authenticity—not conformity—is the path to wholeness.

Whether you're navigating questions of faith, sexuality, identity, or healing from religious trauma, this episode offers a compassionate and honest exploration of what it means to belong.

About Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez is a writer, speaker, and digital strategist based in New York City. He is the author of Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith & Belonging, a memoir chronicling his experiences with conversion therapy, evangelical church culture, and his journey toward self-acceptance. Through his writing and advocacy, Tim helps foster conversations around LGBTQ+ inclusion, mental health, religious trauma, and belonging.

Own Your Fertility

In this episode EDJ sits down with fertility Doctor Jaime Knopman to discuss IVF, egg freezing, miscarriage, endometriosis, and the realities of trying to conceive later in life.

Dr. Knopman shares why fertility conversations should begin much earlier than most people think, how egg freezing technology has evolved, and why infertility is not just a "women's issue." The conversation also explores IVF for same-sex couples, surrogacy, embryo freezing, and how fertility care changed during the pandemic.

This episode is an informative and compassionate look at modern fertility options, reproductive health, and family-building in today's world.

Key Points

• Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have.
• Fertility begins declining more significantly after age 32, with steeper declines after 35 and 40.
• Male infertility contributes to roughly one-third of infertility cases.
• Biochemical miscarriage and the commonality of miscarriage.
• Endometriosis can affect fertility through inflammation, reduced egg quantity, and physical obstruction.
• Egg freezing technology has dramatically improved through vitrification (rapid freezing).

• IVF success rates and misconceptions.
• IVF today often includes genetic testing of embryos to improve pregnancy outcomes.

• Surrogacy and reciprocal IVF.
• Fertility treatment and definitions of infertility are becoming more inclusive for same-sex couples and single parents by choice.
• Fertility insurance coverage changes.
• The emotional realities of fertility treatment.
• How the pandemic changed fertility care.

About the Guest

Dr. Jaime Knopman is a fertility specialist and co-author of Own Your Fertility. She works with individuals and couples navigating egg freezing, embryo freezing, IVF, surrogacy, and fertility preservation.

Podcast Update from EDJ:

The host shares a summer podcast schedule update, explaining that with children home during school holidays, episodes will continue on a lighter schedule through the summer months. Planned content includes:

• One episode of No Hard Feelings
• One episode of News and Views
• One RomCom Recap
• At least one interview episode each month

The host also mentions ongoing community conversations in "The Big Debrief" and invites listeners to connect there.

In this month's No Hard Feelings Chat, we unpack the popular concepts of soul ties and soulmates, exploring where these ideas come from, how they've been shaped by culture and faith, and whether they hold up under theological, psychological, and scientific scrutiny.

Together, we challenge fear-based narratives that emerged from purity culture, examine the difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy enmeshment, and discuss why healing from past relationships is possible. We also explore the myths surrounding "the one," love at first sight, and the belief that a person's worth is tied to their relationship status.

Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and personal experience, this episode offers a compassionate and nuanced perspective on love, connection, sexuality, and human flourishing.

Whether you're single, dating, healing from heartbreak, married, remarried, or simply rethinking what you've been taught about relationships, this conversation invites you to approach love with greater freedom, authenticity, and self-awareness.

Key points:

• What "soul ties" are and where the concept originated
• The phrase "soul tie" does not appear in the Bible but does appear in purity culture narratives!
• Biblical passages commonly used to support the idea of soul ties
• What neuroscience reveals about intimacy, bonding, and brain chemistry
• Intimacy can create powerful emotional bonds without permanently binding people together
• Healthy attachment versus enmeshment in relationships
• A debate around whether sex creates permanent emotional or spiritual bonds
• The theological idea that God is "all in all" and this bonds human beings "in Christ"
• The origins and appeal of the soulmate narrative
• The myth of finding "the one"
• Love develops over time through trust, commitment, and shared experience—not instant chemistry alone.
• The sacred value of singleness and personal wholeness
• How culture, religion, and media shape our expectations of romance
• Healing from toxic relationships, shame, and harmful beliefs
• Building relationships rooted in authenticity, boundaries, and mutual growth

Continue the conversation on Patreon:

www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod

What if hell has been misunderstood?

In this thought-provoking episode, we unpack one of Christianity's most debated doctrines and explore a radically different perspective on judgment, punishment, and the nature of God. Through personal stories of faith deconstruction, biblical exegesis, and theological reflection, EDJ challenges the traditional ideas of eternal conscious torment and eternal separation from God, examining whether the language of "fire" in scripture points more toward refinement and restoration than endless punishment.

The discourse dives into the tension between fear-based theology and unconditional love, asking whether reconciliation—not separation—is ultimately at the heart of the gospel. Along the way, we explore how concepts like discipline, correction, and salvation have been interpreted throughout church history, and what it means to read difficult biblical passages through the lens of love.

Whether you're questioning long-held beliefs, reconstructing your faith, or simply curious about alternative theological perspectives, this episode invites you into a deeper and more nuanced conversation about hell, justice, and the character of God.

Full episode on Patreon.com/wheredowegopod

The Truth About Sexual Health and Purity Culture with Erica Smith

In this deeply insightful conversation, Erica Smith unpacks the lasting impact of purity culture and explores what it means to pursue truly holistic sexual health. From anatomy education and puberty, to consent, contraception, desire, libido and fantasy, Erica offers a compassionate, shame-free framework for understanding sexuality.

This episode challenges harmful narratives around sex while providing practical, evidence-based education for people of all genders and backgrounds. Whether you're healing from purity culture, raising children, navigating relationships, or simply wanting a healthier understanding of sexuality, this conversation delivers clarity, empathy, and actionable insight.

Erica Smith is an award-winning, internationally recognized sexuality educator specializing in sex education for people recovering from purity culture and high-control religious environments. She is the creator of the Purity Culture Dropout™ Program, which provides comprehensive, medically accurate, LGBTQ+ inclusive, and trauma-informed sexuality education through coaching, support groups, workshops, and online community programs. Erica has more than 25 years of experience helping people heal sexual shame, build confidence, and develop healthier relationships with their bodies and sexuality.Top of FormBottom of Form

In This Episode

• Defining purity culture and sexual health and how the two are incompatible
• A look at anatomy and how female genitalia is homologous with male genitalia
• Understanding puberty, menstruation, and body literacy
• Contraception options and STI prevention strategies
• Why consent and communication are foundational to healthy relationships
• The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire
• Healthy conversations around masturbation and libido
• The complexities of pornography and fantasy
• Debunking myths like "soul ties"
• Creating shame-free, LGBTQ+ inclusive sex education

Resources & Mentions

• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
• Desire: A Guide to Managing Libido Differences by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy and Dr. Jennifer A. Vencill
• World Health Organization definition of sexual health
• Purity Culture Recovery Guide by Erica Smith

In this expansive and thought-provoking conversation, Dr. Lauren D. Sawyer unpacks the complex legacy of purity culture—tracing its historical roots, cultural entanglements, and deeply personal impact. Drawing from her academic research and lived experience, Lauren explores how purity culture is not just a theological framework, but a social system shaped by race, power, and control.

Together, we examine how purity culture has been influenced by historical moral panics like the "white slavery" scare, and how its ideals have been disproportionately constructed around white femininity. Lauren offers a critical lens on how these narratives intersect with white supremacy, while also highlighting the varied ways purity culture is experienced across different identities.

The conversation moves into the role of queer theory in reimagining sexuality, particularly as it relates to children and adolescents. Lauren challenges dominant assumptions about childhood innocence, emphasizing the importance of recognizing children as moral agents with the capacity for curiosity, embodiment, and choice. We also explore the concept of childism and why it's essential to creating more ethical, inclusive frameworks for discussing sexuality.

We also expound on the idea of "orgasmic failure" and how redefining sexual success can open up more compassionate, realistic understandings of intimacy and connection. Throughout the episode, Lauren emphasizes the importance of storytelling and narrative in reshaping how we understand sexuality, identity, and belonging.

With insight and care, Lauren discusses how therapy and education can support healing from purity culture, while also creating space for more honest, age-appropriate conversations about bodies, consent, and power. She introduces a more human-centered sexual ethic—one that prioritizes agency, relational awareness, and embodied knowledge over rigid rules and shame-based narratives.

This episode invites listeners to question inherited beliefs, listen more deeply to young people, and imagine a more inclusive, liberating approach to sexual ethics.

Guest Dr. Lauren D. Sawyer is a scholar, educator, and researcher specializing in Christian social ethics, gender studies, and purity culture. She serves as Affiliate Faculty at The Seattle School and Manager of Curriculum and Instruction at The Allender Center. Her forthcoming book, Growing Up Pure: White Girls, Queer Teens, and the Racial Foundations of Purity Culture (NYU Press, 2025), explores the intersections of race, gender, and evangelical sexual ethics.

What does it actually mean to "honor your parents" when the relationship is strained, distant, or painful? In this thoughtful and nuanced episode, we explore the tension between faith, family expectations, and lived experience. We unpack cultural and biblical interpretations of honor, distinguish it from obedience and access, and offer a compassionate framework for navigating boundaries, estrangement, and healing.

This conversation makes space for complexity—acknowledging grief, validating emotional realities, and encouraging self-awareness—while offering grounded insights into how respect and integrity can coexist with necessary distance.

We invite our listeners into a more spacious, honest understanding of family relationships—one that allows for both compassion and clarity. Honoring your parents doesn't mean abandoning yourself. It may, instead, look like living truthfully, setting wise boundaries, and choosing dignity for everyone involved—including you.

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: @wheredowegopod

Patreon: patreon.com/wheredowegopod

Key Themes & Topics

• Reframing Honor: Moving beyond simplistic definitions to understand honor as dignity, integrity, and non-dehumanization—not blind obedience or unlimited access.
• Scripture: A brief look at Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1–4, and Colossians 3:21, including the often-overlooked responsibilities of parents.
• Boundaries as Healthy & Necessary: Understanding that boundaries are not rejection, but clarity—creating space for sustainable, honest relationships.
• Psychological Realities of Family Dynamics: Discussing attachment patterns, emotional distance, enmeshment, and the long-term impact of early relationships.
• Estrangement & Cultural Shifts: Examining increasing trends in low-contact relationships and generational differences in how family, duty, and emotional health are prioritized.
• Compassion Without Excusing Harm: Holding empathy for parents while still naming personal truth and honoring lived experience.
• Grief, Healing & Self-Awareness: Making room for mourning the relationship you hoped for, while moving toward acceptance and growth.

WWJD article: https://thefaithfulcitizen.substack.com/p/where-did-jesus-go?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1pgj0j&triedRedirect=true

Estrangement articles:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.12898

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

https://bookshop.org/p/books/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents-how-to-heal-from-distant-rejecting-or-self-involved-parents-psy-d-lindsay-c-gibson-psyd/c76b830ed14fe568?ean=9781626251700&next=t

The Place We Find Ourselves - 4 part series called "Engaging with Someone Who Has Harmed You" (episodes 93 to 96)

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2zk8LNivIxf2vH0bj4q1V8?si=8ed69a76f0af407c

In this deeply insightful and expansive conversation, Chantal McKinney shares her journey through spiritual deconstruction, healing from church harm, and reimagining faith beyond traditional structures. Drawing from her experiences as an ordained priest, mystic Christian, and community builder, Chantal invites listeners into a vision of church rooted in love, inclusion, and the divine feminine.

Together, we explore the impact of systemic misogyny in faith spaces, the power of prayer and inner authority, and what it means to co-create a more compassionate and expansive spiritual future. This episode is a powerful resource for anyone navigating faith shifts, seeking healing, or longing for authentic, liberating community.

Petition mentioned: https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/los-women

About Chantal McKinney

Chantal McKinney is an author, mystic Christian, and visionary leader dedicated to supporting those on the margins of traditional church spaces. A former Episcopal priest, she is now the founder of Root Thrive Soar, Founding Pastor of Christ's Beloved Community, and founder of Contemporary Mystics Publishing.

Through her work, Chantal creates supportive networks for those impacted by church harm and for spiritually expansive individuals seeking new expressions of faith. She lives in North Carolina with her family.

Chantal's book: Following Jesus Beyond Church Walls: A Catalyst for Your Spiritual Growth available here: https://a.co/d/01oNjK8R

Learn more:

• chantalmckinney.com
• rootthrivesoar.com
• contemporarymysticspublishing.com
• Petition: https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/los-women

Key Themes & Topics

• Spiritual deconstruction and faith reconstruction
• Healing from church harm and systemic misogyny
• The divine feminine and reimagining God
• The role of prayer and Christ's example
• Reclaiming inner authority and spiritual autonomy
• Building authentic community outside institutional church
• Co-creating the future of Christianity
• The mass "exodus" from traditional church structures
• Reframing angels, demons, and spiritual language
• Spiral fractals as a model for spiritual growth
• Jesus' spiral prayer in John 17 reflects both spiritual growth and interconnectedness—like fractals in nature:

o Begin with praying for yourself

o Extend prayer to family and friends

o Move outward toward the broader community, your state and nation.

o Pray for the world

In this insightful and empowering conversation, educator and domestic equity expert Laura Danger joins us to unpack the invisible systems shaping our homes, relationships, and sense of fairness.

With over a decade in education and a background in special education, Laura brings a practical, inclusive lens to topics many families struggle to name—let alone solve. As the creator of That Darn Chat and the author of No More Mediocre, she helps people navigate burnout, emotional labor, weaponized incompetence, and the unequal distribution of care work.

Together, we explore how societal expectations around gender and parenting continue to influence family dynamics—and what it actually takes to build more equitable, supportive partnerships at home.

Laura shares actionable strategies for discussing redistribution of labor, reducing resentment, and moving toward intentional, egalitarian relationships—without perfectionism.

What We Cover

• The differences between physical, emotional, and mental workload
• Emotional and mental loads are real, measurable, and often unevenly distributed
• The estimated monetary value of a care worker, particularly a parent
• The impact of gender roles in parenting and partnership
• Navigating relationship challenges while striving for equity
• The cultural pressure of motherhood and its consequences
• Why many online parenting spaces center "motherhood" over inclusive "parenthood"
• Domestic engineering and social reproduction

• We are all carers and care work is essential labor
• Egalitarian relationships require intentional conversations not assumptions
• How to recognize incompetence versus weaponized incompetence
• Negotiating who is competent to complete various tasks as care givers in one household
• Mental health challenges in care work
• New family structures
• Community support plays a crucial role in sustainable change

About the Guest

Laura Danger is an educator and domestic equity expert helping individuals and couples navigate household labor, mental load, and relationship dynamics. She is the creator of That Darn Chat and author of No More Mediocre, and her work has been featured in major outlets including HuffPost and Business Insider.

Connect with Laura:

Website: lauradanger.com

Instagram: @thatdarnchat

In this special bonus episode, we're giving you a behind-the-scenes look at what a typical month sounds like on the Where Do We Go From Here? Podcast.

You'll hear:

• An excerpt from our March RomCom Recap
• Sneak peeks from two upcoming April interviews
• Clips from EDJ's conversation with Dr. Kevin Jenson on the Epstein files
• A teaser from March News & Views
• A timely reminder from February's No Hard Feelings discussion

This episode is designed to give both new and longtime listeners a feel for the range of conversations we explore—from pop culture and media analysis to deeper discussions on power, purity culture, and sexual ethics within deconstruction spaces.

Supporting the Podcast

Some of our content is free for all listeners, while other episodes are available exclusively through our Patreon community.

For just $3 USD/month (roughly $4–5 AUD/CAD or just over $5 NZD), paid subscribers get full access to:

• The complete RomCom Recap
• Full News & Views episodes
• The Epstein Files deep dive
• All interviews

This episode also breaks down where your support goes and shares additional ways you can help sustain the podcast.

www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod

A Note from the Hosts

We deeply appreciate every listener. We know transitions can be challenging, especially as we move from the original hosts, Devi and Jessica—who built something truly meaningful—to our current host:

EDJ (Eady Jay / Evangelical Deconstruction Journey)

Our hope is that you'll continue with us as we:

• Learn and grow together
• Engage thoughtfully with faith deconstruction
• Explore topics like purity culture and sexual ethics
• And keep asking the question: Where do we go from here?

Stay Connected

• Follow, rate, and comment
• Find us on Instagram @wheredowegopod
• Review the podcast and share episodes with friends
• Join us in the Green Room March 31st (April 1st AUS / NZ) & April 28th/29th
• Join us on Patreon for full access and bonus content: www.patreon.com/wheredowegopod