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Why does even gentle feedback feel like an attack?
In this episode, we explore how the mind turns ordinary feedback into a perceived assault — and why that reaction exists for a reason. Narcissistic defensiveness isn’t just about arrogance or fragility; it’s a complex system designed to keep you ‘company.’ The very attack that harms also protects — preserving connection with an internalized other, even if that connection is punishing.
Through clinical examples, we look at how this dynamic plays out in daily life and how therapy helps loosen these inner assaults so real growth and connection can begin.
If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.
Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here
Next Meeting: Stay Tuned!
Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:
You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:
https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/
https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com
Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.
By Dr. Anthony Mazzella4.6
2525 ratings
Why does even gentle feedback feel like an attack?
In this episode, we explore how the mind turns ordinary feedback into a perceived assault — and why that reaction exists for a reason. Narcissistic defensiveness isn’t just about arrogance or fragility; it’s a complex system designed to keep you ‘company.’ The very attack that harms also protects — preserving connection with an internalized other, even if that connection is punishing.
Through clinical examples, we look at how this dynamic plays out in daily life and how therapy helps loosen these inner assaults so real growth and connection can begin.
If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.
Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here
Next Meeting: Stay Tuned!
Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:
You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:
https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/
https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder
Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com
Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

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