On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Eddie Capparucci addresses the struggle of many men to show empathy, especially those who have dealt with childhood trauma and emotional neglect. He warns of the dangers of labels and offers insights into the biological and neurological factors that affect empathy. Then he and Tami answer participant questions about empathy in relationships, with strangers, and in and out of the home.

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] The link between problematic sexual behaviors and a lack of empathy.

[3:00] Empathy is learned in childhood.

[7:18] When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down.

[8:46] The biological component of empathy.

[12:23] Timing plays a critical role in the development of empathy.

[15:07] Healing the brain and cultivating empathy.

[24:07] Emotionally cold or emotionally dysregulated?

[28:45] Why is my spouse empathetic with everyone except me?

[33:09] Why do I seek stranger validation more than closeness with my partner?

[35:35] My husband had plenty of empathy when courting me. What happened?

[40:50] The neurological danger of viewing porn.

[41:22] Lack of empathy or autism spectrum?

[45:38] Where to find the feelings wheel.

[46:48] Why is it easier to be empathetic with someone who's upset with someone else than someone who is upset with me?

[49:41] Can these same principles apply to women?

[52:00] How will we know when we are ready for couples work?

[55:10] My husband feels judged when I ask him to be accountable.

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [email protected]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

● "When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down."

● "Trauma and emotional neglect do not damage every child's empathy circuit in the same way."

● "The brain can heal and empathy can be cultivated."

● "Emotional regulation is recovery."