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You knew it was coming. Maybe not the exact moment, but you felt it building.

The tension in the room. The stillness before it broke. Your nervous system clocked it before your brain caught up.

That's pattern recognition, and there's a reason these conflicts follow a script.

Lisa sits down with Bill Eddy, lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, to break down exactly why escalation in high conflict relationships is predictable, what triggers it, and how it plays out differently across three distinct personality patterns.

Bill explains why setting a boundary isn't just uncomfortable for these people, it's experienced as a threat that requires a response. He covers how they move from verbal attacks to punishment to recruiting others into the conflict, why they see themselves as the victim even while causing harm, and what survivors consistently get wrong when they're in the middle of it.

One of the most important moments in this conversation is a simple reframe: escalation is not proof that you did something wrong. It's proof that the system was challenged. Once you understand that, everything shifts.

Resources mentioned:

• SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences by Bill Eddy
• Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy
• High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com

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