Beyond Words with Najwa Zebian

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What do you do when you know walking away was the right decision, but you still miss them?

In this episode, I talk about the confusing space between knowing someone wasn’t right for you and still grieving the love, memories, and connection you experienced with them. Missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back. It doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. And it definitely doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

We talk about shame, emotional avoidance, attachment, unresolved pain, and what it actually looks like to let yourself feel longing without allowing that longing to make your decisions for you.

Sometimes healing isn’t about convincing yourself not to miss them. It’s about being able to say: I miss you, and I’m still choosing me.

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What if the days when you feel like you’re not healing are actually the days when you’re doing the deepest healing?

In this episode, Najwa talks about grief, not only the grief of losing someone, but the grief of losing a relationship, a memory, a future you imagined, or even a version of yourself that no longer exists.

She opens up about the pressure to “get over it,” the tendency to intellectualize pain instead of feeling it, and why understanding what happened doesn’t necessarily make the hurt disappear.

Najwa also shares a practice that changed the way she moved through grief: returning, gently and at her own pace, to the places that held beautiful memories. Sometimes healing means allowing yourself to cry in the places you once laughed, accepting that a memory belongs to the past without trying to drag it back into your present.

If you’ve been judging yourself for how long it’s taking to move on, this episode is your reminder: you are not behind. You are not weak. You are in the middle of healing.

You don’t need someone else to give you closure. You can sit with yourself, honor what you feel, and slowly choose to move forward without abandoning yourself.

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This episode was recorded in October of last year. Enjoy! 

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Have you ever waited for an apology, convinced it would finally give you peace?

In this episode, Najwa shares a deeply personal story about asking someone who hurt her to apologize, only to discover that the words she longed to hear could never provide the healing she was seeking. Drawing from The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You, she explores why we place so much weight on apologies, why validation from the person who hurt us can become a trap, and what it really takes to move forward.

This conversation goes beyond forgiveness and closure. Najwa dives into the painful reality of toxic relationships, gaslighting, trauma bonds, and the struggle to accept someone for who they truly are. She offers a compassionate reminder that your difficulty letting go was never a sign of weakness. It was a sign that you cared, hoped, and believed in the best of someone.

If you've ever felt stuck waiting for accountability, wondering why an apology didn't bring the relief you expected, or struggling to make sense of a relationship that changed you, this episode is for you.

Because healing doesn't begin when they apologize. It begins when you stop putting your life on hold while waiting for one.

In this episode:

• Why an apology often feels more important than it actually is
• The difference between remorse and accountability
• How gaslighting disconnects you from yourself
• Why it's so difficult to see people for who they truly are
• The hidden cost of waiting for validation from the person who hurt you
• What real healing looks like after betrayal, manipulation, or heartbreak

Plus, Najwa shares a personal update on her journey pursuing a master's degree in psychotherapy and reflects on the incredible impact readers have shared from The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You.

📖 The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You is available wherever books are sold in hardcover, e-book, and audiobook formats.

#HealingBeyondWords #TheOneWhoBrokeYouCantHealYou #HealingJourney #EmotionalHealing #TraumaRecovery #GaslightingAwareness #SelfWorth #RelationshipHealing #MentalHealthPodcast #NajwaZebian

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What do you do when someone fought so hard to have you in their life, only to make you feel guilty for expecting the love, respect, and care they promised?

In this episode, I explore the painful experience of being invited to someone's table and then being left to survive on crumbs. We talk about why it's so difficult to accept when a person is no longer showing up as who they once were, why we cling to the smallest moments of affection even when we're being hurt, and how survival instincts can keep us attached to people who continuously diminish us.

We'll dive into trauma bonds, the psychology of people who seek validation from others but struggle to receive love, and the devastating reality of grieving not only a relationship, but the version of someone you believed existed. Most importantly, we'll talk about how to stop measuring your worth by another person's inability to value you.

If you've ever felt discarded, replaced, or left wondering how someone who once adored you could become a stranger, this conversation is for you.

Because being chosen means nothing if you aren't respected. Being wanted means nothing if you're being starved of love. And sometimes the greatest act of self-love is accepting that the version of you someone wanted was the version that stayed small.

This episode is your reminder that you are not disposable, and that anyone who requires you to shrink yourself in order to be loved was never truly loving you at all. 

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In this special episode, Najwa celebrates the launch of her new book, The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You, and shares the powerful message behind its title.

Through personal stories, insights on toxic relationships, trauma bonds, self-worth, and healing, Najwa explores why waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you keeps you stuck, and what it truly takes to reclaim your life and move forward.

Joined by a special guest, Marlee Liss, she discusses:

• Why the person who broke you cannot be the source of your healing
 • The difference between healthy attachment and harmful bonds
 • How to stop waiting for closure and start choosing yourself
 • The role of self-compassion in recovery
 • Why leaving toxic relationships is often more complex than people think
 • How to rebuild trust, boundaries, and self-worth

This live book launch conversation concludes with audience Q&A and powerful reflections on healing, accountability, and finding the courage to choose yourself.

Order The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You: Books by Najwa Zebian: Poet, Author, Speaker, Educator — Najwa Zebian's Site

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What if the deepest heartbreak isn't losing someone, but realizing they were never who you believed them to be?

In this powerful episode, Najwa shares an excerpt from Chapter 4, How to Fix What They Broke, from her newly released book, The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You. She explores the painful truth behind betrayal, trauma bonds, people-pleasing, and the exhausting cycle of trying to repair damage you never caused.

If you've ever found yourself making excuses for someone's behavior, carrying the weight of a relationship on your shoulders, or believing it was your job to fix what they continuously broke, this conversation is for you. Najwa dives into one of the book's most important lessons: healing begins when you stop trying to repair what someone else chose to destroy.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why betrayal reveals who someone is, not who you are
• How loyalty can become self-abandonment
• The connection between trauma bonds and the urge to "fix" people
• Why understanding someone's pain does not excuse their behavior
• How letting people face the consequences of their choices sets you free
• The liberating truth behind the phrase: Stop trying to fix what they broke

This is a heartfelt celebration of The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You and a reminder that your healing does not require the person who hurt you.

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Have you ever looked back on a relationship, friendship, or situation that hurt you and wondered:

"Why didn't I leave sooner?"

It's one of the most painful questions we ask ourselves after experiencing heartbreak, betrayal, toxic relationships, or trauma bonds. And often, hidden beneath that question is something even deeper: shame.

In this episode, Najwa explores the importance of showing compassion to the version of yourself that stayed. The version that hoped things would get better. The version that loved, believed, trusted, and kept searching for reasons to hold on.

Because healing doesn't happen when we judge our past selves. Healing happens when we understand them.

Together, we'll explore why we often evaluate our past decisions using knowledge we didn't have at the time, why survival mode changes the choices we make, and how compassion can help us release the guilt, shame, and self-blame we've been carrying for far too long.

In This Episode:

• Why judging your past self keeps you stuck
• The difference between survival and weakness
• Understanding why you stayed
• The hidden shame many people carry after unhealthy relationships
• Why leaving is often a process, not a single decision
• The question that leads to deeper healing
• How self-compassion creates lasting change
• Honoring the version of yourself that got you here

Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is stop asking, "What's wrong with me?" and start asking, "What was I trying to protect myself from?"

The version of you that stayed was doing the best they could with what they knew at the time.

Maybe it's time to stop judging them and start thanking them.

❤️

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Welcome to the final episode of the How to Break a Trauma Bond series.

After learning how to recognize a trauma bond, decide whether to stay or leave, grieve what you thought you had, stop waiting for the apology, and become your own fixer, there is one final step:

Rebuilding your sense of safety.

One of the greatest harms caused by trauma bonds is that they distort your understanding of what safety actually feels like. Over time, chaos can feel familiar, hypervigilance can feel normal, and survival can begin to feel like love.

In this episode, Najwa explores the difference between familiarity and safety, why healthy relationships can sometimes feel uncomfortable after experiencing toxic ones, and how trauma impacts your nervous system long after the relationship ends.

You'll learn why rebuilding trust with yourself is just as important as rebuilding trust with others, how to distinguish intuition from hypervigilance, and why true healing begins when you become a safe place for yourself.

In This Episode:

• Why familiarity is not the same as safety
• The difference between protective safety and authentic safety
• How trauma bonds damage self-trust
• Why healthy relationships can feel strange at first
• Understanding hypervigilance and nervous system conditioning
• Learning the difference between fear and intuition
• How to rebuild trust in yourself
• The importance of keeping promises to yourself
• What safety actually looks like in healthy relationships

This episode brings together everything we've explored throughout the series and offers a powerful reminder:

Safety isn't knowing you'll never be hurt again. Safety is knowing that if you are hurt again, you won't abandon yourself in the process.

Preorder:The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You ❤️

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Welcome to Part 4 of How to Break a Trauma Bond.

So far, we've learned how to recognize a trauma bond, decide whether to stay or leave, grieve what we thought we had, and stop waiting for the apology.

Now comes one of the most transformative steps of all:

Becoming your own fixer.

Trauma bonds teach us to seek comfort, validation, and relief from the same person who causes our pain. Over time, we begin to believe that healing can only come from them. But healing truly begins when we stop waiting for someone else to repair what they broke and start giving ourselves what we've been asking of them all along.

In this episode, Najwa explores the patterns that keep people trapped in trauma bonds, from people-pleasing and self-abandonment to seeking validation and outsourcing self-worth. She also shares practical tools to help you reclaim your power, rebuild your identity, and begin trusting yourself again.

In This Episode:

• Why you must stop seeking relief from the source of your pain
• Understanding how trauma bonds become addictive
• The danger of chasing a moving finish line
• Why people-pleasers become professional self-abandoners
• Recognizing when you're watering dead plants in your life
• Becoming the person you've been looking for
• Pulling your energy back and investing it in yourself
• Learning to see yourself through your own eyes instead of theirs

The ultimate sign that you've healed from a trauma bond is not that they finally see your worth. It's that you finally do.

Book Mentioned: The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You ❤️