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When someone stops choosing you, it can feel like being thrown away. In this heartfelt episode, Najwa explores the pain of being discarded, the illusion of lost worth, and the deep healing that begins when you finally choose yourself.

Timestamps / Chapters

00:00 – The Voice That Says “Choose Yourself”
The inner conflict between fear and truth — the voice that tells you to stay vs. the one that calls you home to yourself.

01:14 – The Pain of Being Discarded
The shock, confusion, and humiliation of feeling unwanted — and why it doesn’t define your worth.

04:18 – Stop Trying to Make Sense of It
Let go of trying to understand why someone stopped loving you. Some things aren’t meant to make sense.

05:24 – They Never Saw Your True Value
If their love vanishes overnight, they never truly saw you — only what they could gain from you.

08:59 – What Love Really Is
True love isn’t games or indifference — it’s safety, vulnerability, and care.

14:27 – When They Change Their Mind
Their change of heart isn’t your fault. Your integrity and truth remain untouched.

17:42 – The Fear of Being Alone
How fear convinces us to hold on — and how to replace it with self-compassion.

19:59 – Reclaiming Your Voice
Stop silencing yourself to be loved. Speak your truth, even if it costs you someone’s presence.

27:23 – Shifting the Question
From “How can I make them choose me?” to “How can I choose myself today?”

32:54 – Don’t Let Someone’s Trash Define You
When someone treats you like garbage, it reveals them — not you.

39:01 – Words That Found Me
Najwa reads from The Book of Healing:

43:00 – Closing Reflection
The first person who owes you to choose you — is you.

💬 Key Takeaways

• Being discarded doesn’t erase your value.
• Stop explaining what they’ve already decided not to see.
• Healing begins the moment you choose yourself.

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When you’re so used to overexplaining, overgiving, and overextending yourself — choosing silence can feel impossible. But what if silence is where your real power begins?

In this episode, Najwa explores what it means to stop trying to change people, to stop rescuing them from who they’ve chosen to be, and to finally let your peace speak louder than your pain.

Through powerful storytelling, gentle truth, and poetic reflection, Najwa helps you understand:

• Why you struggle to accept the truth about others
• How overexplaining becomes a form of self-betrayal
• Why fawning and people-pleasing are trauma responses
• The difference between compassion and self-abandonment
• How to stand in quiet integrity and let others face their own consequences

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” or if you’ve loved people who constantly hurt you, this episode will remind you:
 You never have to explain to someone what they already know they did.

Timestamps

00:00 — When you stop overexerting yourself and choose silence
 01:28 — Letting go of control and seeing people for who they really are
 04:26 — Why we excuse others’ hurtful behavior
 05:31 — The guilt and consequences of setting boundaries
 07:51 — Recognizing intentional harm and emotional maturity
 10:23 — On jealousy, comparison, and emotional growth
 15:53 — “Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ” — the company you keep
 20:49 — When helping turns into self-sacrifice
 26:02 — Healthy vs. unhealthy responses to mistreatment
 30:13 — Stop trying to change people; let them reveal themselves
 31:18 — The scorpion and the frog: understanding character
 35:02 — Staying kind without betraying yourself
 36:11 — “Let Them F*** Around and Find Out” — strength in self-respect
 40:34 — Integrity, boundaries, and the quiet storm of peace
 41:41 — Final reflections: let them be who they are, and protect who you are

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If you’ve spent years in defense mode, trying to prove your goodness to people committed to misunderstanding you, this episode is for you. I share personal stories (from school days in Lebanon to adult life) about how judgment shaped my self-image, and the moment I chose to stop buying what judgment was selling. You’ll learn how conditioning fuels people-pleasing, why “being the good one” often keeps you stuck, and how to reclaim your energy, boundaries, and peace.

In this episode:

• The cost of living in “prove-them-wrong” mode
• A formative story about being misread, and what it awakened
• Conditioning, perfectionism, and why you “knew better” but couldn’t do better
• Kindness vs. enabling: stop being the sponge that soaks up poison
• Cutting judgment at the source and choosing your table
• “Words That Found Me” & “Words That Held Me” to carry with you

Favorite lines

• “Let them judge you. They will live with their judgment; you will live with your truth.”
• “If there’s no seat for you at the table, build your own and sit at it.”

Timestamps
00:00 Why defense mode drains your self-worth
01:01 Gratitude & what your notes mean to me
02:02 Today’s topic: Let them judge you
02:55 A school story that changed my lens
06:14 Being misread and the panic of losing your image
11:33 Image, integrity, and the fear of imperfection
14:01 Conditioning, nervous system, and capacity
16:02 When explaining becomes self-betrayal
19:34 Kindness ≠ enabling (the sponge metaphor)
23:10 Relationships as the biggest predictor of wellbeing
24:06 What “let them judge you” really means
25:03 A friend’s reframe: “They’re not paying your paycheck.”
26:51 Cut off judgment at the source
28:48 How people use snapshots to define your whole
31:03 When others’ insecurity tries to shrink you
33:09 “Words That Held Me”: a short poem
34:59 Choose your people, choose your life
35:55 Build your own table + closing

If this helped, share it with someone who needs relief from judgment, and leave a quick review. It helps others find the show. 💛

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You’re not crazy — you were conditioned to believe you are.
 In this powerful episode of Beyond Words, Najwa Zebian breaks down one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse: gaslighting. From subtle lies to complete distortion of your reality, Najwa helps you understand what’s really happening when someone tries to make you doubt your truth.

She unpacks how gaslighters erase your perception of reality, why they do it, and what makes empaths, nurturers, and people-pleasers especially vulnerable. Through stories, examples, and deeply reflective insights, Najwa helps you see clearly through the fog, validate your experience, and reclaim your power.

💛
 If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” “crazy,” or “imagining things,” this episode will help you find clarity, compassion, and strength.

Timestamps / Show Notes:

• 00:00 – You’re not crazy. You were gaslit.
• 01:10 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t).
• 04:34 – The story of Betty Broderick: A real-life case of gaslighting.
• 07:41 – Why gaslighters do it.
• 10:01 – Why you were “chosen.”
• 13:20 – The DARVO tactic: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
• 17:24 – The hook: mirroring and emotional bonding.
• 20:42 – The 5-course meal metaphor.
• 23:41 – From breadcrumbs to confusion.
• 27:10 – The “fog” strategy.
• 29:43 – Words That Found Me: Alan Watts quote.
• 32:54 – Stop stirring the mud.
• 33:55 – You don’t deserve mistreatment — even in your vulnerability.
• 38:42 – Words That Held Me: ‘Delusion’ excerpt from Welcome Home.
• 43:57 – You are not weak. You survived erasure.

Key Takeaways:

• Gaslighting is not confusion — it’s calculated manipulation.
• Empaths and nurturers are often targeted because of their deep capacity for love.
• Stop trying to make sense of the senseless — clarity comes when the fog settles.
• Healing begins when you stop labeling yourself as what they tried to make you.
• Education and awareness are your power.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who still blames themselves for being gaslit.

Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps others find healing Beyond Words.

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We’re taught to keep the peace, rise above, and “be the bigger person.” But what if constantly being “bigger” is quietly breaking you? In this episode, Najwa shares a bold reframe: if you must choose between crashing out and crashing in, don’t let the crash happen inside you. Suppressed truths corrode self-esteem, confidence, and your ability to choose the right people.

Through vivid metaphors (arrows, tightropes, and the crash-out vs. crash-in analogy), Najwa names the double standards that keep you policing your reactions while others never examine their behavior. You’ll learn how to spot environments that force you out of character, why integrity eventually says “no more,” and a gentle way to expand your time with people who regulate your nervous system instead of dysregulating it.

If you’re exhausted from always holding it together while others keep pulling you down, this conversation will help you speak your truth and protect your energy—without abandoning your goodness.

Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. If this helped you, please leave a rating and review.

Show Notes & Timestamps

00:00 – Crash Out vs. Crash In
Why internalizing harm destroys voice, dignity, confidence, and faith in humanity.

01:12 – Stop Being the “Bigger Person”
How environments that require constant composure pump you full of unsaid truths.

02:12 – The Cost of Holding It In
What “crashing in” does to your self-esteem and how shame keeps you silent.

03:11 – Keep Harm Outside You
Arrow metaphor: either remove it (express) or bleed silently (suppress).

04:25 – Double Standards & Selective Honesty
When others never self-reflect but demand perfection from you.

06:36 – The Trap of “Unbothered”
How you were taught that your reaction—not their behavior—is the shameful thing.

07:41 – Having to Teach Basic Decency
The sadness of explaining respect to people who won’t extend it.

08:57 – The Tightrope
Being forced to balance while others push and provoke (and why you eventually snap).

11:02 – The Aftermath: Exhaustion & Isolation
Why being “bigger” leaves you drained for the people who actually love you.

12:29 – “Good Person” Cage
How quiet kindness becomes something manipulators bank on.

13:38 – A Gentle First Step
Spend one hour with someone who regulates your nervous system; body check-in practice.

16:44 – Subtle Humbling
How silence after your good news is a tell.

18:47 – Energy Economics
One draining hour vs. one nourishing hour—and the 23-hour ripple effect.

20:17 – Manufactured Overreaction
They push until you break, then call it “too much.”

21:16 – When Integrity Says “No More”
The moment you stop self-abandoning and speak.

24:10 – Journal Prompt
“If my integrity spoke freely today, what would it say and do?”

25:14 – The Ceiling They Create
Why constant “bigger person” mode keeps you stuck at survival level.

26:34 – Mind Platter, p. 6: “Stay True to Yourself”
On not chasing people’s views; confidence in your intentions.

27:34 – Real Change Comes From Within
Affirmation of self-led transformation.

27:58 – Words That Found Me (Unknown Author)
“This is not being the bigger person… it’s suppression.”

28:48 – Final Reframe
If you must choose, crash out—not in. Speaking truth is not being “smaller”; it’s honoring your worth.

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There’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly trying to make yourself understood by people who are committed to misunderstanding you. You explain, clarify, defend, and prove — not because you’re weak, but because you ache to be heard.

In this episode of Beyond Words, Najwa unpacks why explaining yourself to the wrong people erodes your dignity, pulls you out of character, and keeps you anchored in environments that dim your light. She explores the difference between explaining to connect vs. explaining to be validated by people whose minds are already made up.

Through vivid metaphors and raw truth, Najwa offers a way out: to stop over-explaining, reclaim your energy, and redirect it toward spaces, people, and pursuits that see you without a fight.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “That’s not even me… why did I go there?”—this episode will feel like a mirror and a hand reaching out to pull you back home to yourself.

📝 Show Notes & Timestamps (for Buzzsprout “Show Notes” section)

00:00 – The Cost of Staying Around the Wrong People
Opening truth: the more you surround yourself with the wrong people, the more your dignity erodes.

01:12 – Why We Explain Ourselves (It’s Not Low Self-Esteem)
Exploring the human ache to be heard and why we shouldn’t shame ourselves for it.

02:10 – The Problem: People Committed to Misunderstanding You
How ego dynamics twist your explanations into proof against you.

03:21 – The Cardinal Truth About Good Hearts
Why kind people expect to be heard — and why that backfires in the wrong dynamics.

04:20 – Living Through Your Truth Without Explaining
The consequence: losing the people who need you to over-explain to stay connected.

05:43 – Why Your Growth Scares the Wrong People
How your evolution triggers ego and false superiority in others.

08:00 – Recognizing When You’re Out of Character
A sign you’re in the wrong place, not that you’ve failed.

09:40 – The Futility of Explaining to People Who Already Know
Reflective journaling prompt: “What is explaining yourself to someone who knows they’ve hurt you going to do?”

11:52 – The Contagion of Environments
A vivid metaphor about sickness and influence.

13:09 – The Psychological Toll of Staying Around Liars
How dishonesty around you causes chronic doubt.

14:05 – A Gentle Wake-Up Call
Najwa’s reminder of our shared humanity and inner voice.

16:02 – Sitting With Pain Instead of Explaining It Away
Recognizing when others’ choices reflect their character, not your worth.

17:07 – Why Your Clarity Intimidates the Uncomfortable
How purpose triggers avoidance.

19:27 – There Are People Who Will Understand Without a Fight
Flat-ground vs. uphill-battle relationships.

22:49 – You Don’t Need to Earn Basic Human Respect
Respect and dignity are inherent, not transactional.

24:57 – The Sunny vs. Rainy Metaphor
Proving your truth to people who already see it — and want to drain you.

26:17 – Letting Bonds Break When Over-Explaining Stops
Why guilt surfaces and how to reframe it.

27:00 – Reclaiming Your Energy
Redirecting everything you’ve poured into the wrong places.

28:26 – 🌿 Words That Found Me
Ali Ibn Abi Talib’s quote on never explaining yourself.

29:32 – 📖 Words That Held Me
From Sparks of Phoenix, p.130 — on gossip, silence, and standing in truth.

30:47 – Final Reflection
A powerful visualization of reclaiming your energy and protecting yourse

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In this deeply resonant episode of Beyond Words, Najwa explores the painful but liberating truth of betrayal and abandonment. What happens when you’ve invested your heart, time, and soul into someone, only to have them walk away with everything you gave? Najwa reframes this heartbreak with a radical act of self-love: let them keep what they took, because you are the well.

Through storytelling, raw truth, and her signature poetic wisdom, she guides you to reclaim your power, stop searching for closure in the wrong places, and redirect your love back to yourself.

This episode is for anyone who feels drained, betrayed, or unrecognized—and needs the reminder that nothing you gave was wasted, because you remain the source.

Timestamps & Show Notes

0:00 – Opening Reflection
On the feeling of wanting back the years, love, and loyalty you gave—and why none of it was wasted.

1:00 – Building Homes in Others
Why investing all of yourself in another person makes you “homeless” when they leave.

2:20 – The Power of Being the Source
Everything you gave came from you—meaning you can create it again, this time for yourself.

4:10 – Betrayal & Loss of Direction
How it feels when someone shows loyalty, then betrays you—and the disorientation that follows.

6:00 – Facing an Unfair World
Why expecting fairness keeps you stuck, and how to shift into inner power instead.

7:20 – What You Truly Wanted Back
It was never about material things—it was about being seen, valued, and appreciated.

9:30 – The Dignity Wound
Why betrayal feels like an assault on your humanity and dignity.

13:00 – The Futility of Expecting Change
Why the person who exploited you will not suddenly validate or appreciate you.

15:30 – Stop Playing Small
Why staying quiet, small, or endlessly kind won’t earn recognition—and why you must expand.

18:00 – Shifting the Audience
From begging one person to see your worth, to realizing the world is full of those who already do.

20:00 – Let Them Keep What They Took
How to reclaim your power by no longer investing in takers.

22:00 – The Bubble of Power Visualization
A protective practice to deflect arrows of blame, shame, or cruelty.

23:00 – Words That Found Me
“If they drained your love, let them keep the emptiness. You still have the well.”

24:00 – Words From Me to You (Welcome Home, Clarity Chapter)
Stop searching for closure in the wrong places—stop looking for a speck of dust in the ocean.

29:00 – Closing Invitation
The cure isn’t in the poison. It’s in you. Keep swimming, keep breathing, keep moving toward love that honors you.

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In this episode of Beyond Words, I explore one of the most painful truths: when someone loves you not for who you are, but for what you give. Together, we’ll unpack how childhood conditioning makes us vulnerable to these patterns, how to tell if you’re surrounded by takers or builders, and how to begin redirecting your energy back to yourself. This conversation will help you break free from cycles of being used, reclaim your worth, and re-learn that you are deserving of love simply because you exist.

Timestamps & Show Notes

0:00 – Opening Reflections

• Why saying “you owe me nothing” is the most powerful response when someone tries to put a price on your love.
• The unique betrayal of realizing someone loved what you gave, not who you are.

2:00 – Early Conditioning

• How childhood experiences with acceptance, authority figures, and friendships shape our adult relationships.
• The learned belief: I must give to be worthy of belonging.

6:00 – I Do, Therefore I Deserve vs. I Am, Therefore I Deserve

• Challenging the belief that your worth depends on effort or sacrifice.
• Why being human is enough to deserve love, respect, and care.

10:00 – The Power of Environment

• Visualizing your “metaphorical space”: do you feel small and restricted, or expansive and seen?
• How toxic environments normalize depletion.

16:00 – Facing the Truth About Being Used

• Why it’s so difficult to admit when someone is only with you for what they gain.
• Recognizing when you’re choosing fear of abandonment over self-protection.

22:00 – Sitting With Your Feelings

• The “tea with your pain” practice: welcoming feelings instead of pushing them down.
• Why true growth comes from allowing yourself to suffer and learn, not from rushing to move on.

26:00 – Redefining Healing and Moving On

• Moving on quickly isn’t a badge of honor — growth comes from reflection and integration.
• The difference between being accepted versus being honored.

32:00 – Redirecting Your Love Back to Yourself

• Why every act of giving to others proves you can give to yourself.
• How to reclaim energy from those who only take without offering.

34:00 – Words That Found Me

• A moving Lebanese poem-turned-song, Bella (Without Anything Else), as a reminder that love should be for the soul, not for what you decorate yourself with.

38:00 – Words From Me to You

• A reading from The Nectar of Pain on giving love freely, being disappointed, and knowing that what you once gave cannot be repaid.

41:00 – Closing Invitation

• Encouragement to share this episode with anyone who needs it.
• A reminder: your worth isn’t defined by what others take — but by how deeply you choose to honor yourself.

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In this deeply transformative episode of Beyond Words, Najwa Zebian explores the true meaning of detachment—not as a rejection of love or connection, but as the path to freedom from unsafe, inconsistent, and harmful bonds. You’ll learn why detaching from the wrong people is the greatest act of self-liberation, and how to build strong, safe attachments that honor your authenticity.

Through powerful imagery, heartfelt reflection, and excerpts from her own writing, Najwa guides you back to yourself—reminding you that at the end of your healing journey, your inner child is waiting to be saved and brought home.

Show Notes & Timestamps

0:00 – 0:20
Opening reflection: meeting the younger version of yourself who waits to be saved.

0:33 – 1:19
Introduction to the episode: why detachment is the root of freedom—but not in the way we’ve been told.

1:20 – 3:07
What detachment is not: myths about never needing people, having no expectations, or doing life alone.

3:08 – 5:13
Recognizing unsafe people: when joy is met with competition, when pain is dismissed, when asking for help is shamed.

5:14 – 7:15
Why we hold on to unsafe bonds: early lessons of survival, emotional abandonment, and inconsistency.

7:16 – 9:24
Choosing “better the peace you don’t know yet” over “better the devil you know.”

9:25 – 12:39
How inconsistency keeps you walking on eggshells—and how to stop hoping for different outcomes.

12:40 – 15:29
The two core needs of every adult, according to Dr. Gabor Maté: attachment and authenticity.

15:30 – 18:24
Conditional belonging vs. true connection: when you must abandon yourself to be “loved.”

18:25 – 20:02
The truth about strength: attachment doesn’t make you weak—unsafe attachment does.

20:03 – 23:47
The courage to let go: why detaching feels terrifying, and how freedom comes with reclaiming your choices.

24:08 – 25:27
Words That Found Me: Ali bin Abi Talib on detachment—“Not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.”

25:35 – 26:43
Words That Held Me: An excerpt from The Book of Healing—a powerful apology letter to the self.

26:44 – 29:21
The deepest shift: realizing your own self-abandonment was more painful than anyone else’s betrayal.

29:22 – 30:11
Closing reflections: detachment as the key to liberation and coming home to yourself.

✨ If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs these words. Don’t forget to leave a rating or review—it helps more people find healing through Beyond Words.

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When someone walks away from you in the most painful and blindsiding way—through betrayal, broken promises, or abandonment—it can feel like your whole world collapses. In this episode of Beyond Words, Najwa gently guides you through the shock, denial, and grief of endings you didn’t choose, and shows you how to begin reclaiming yourself piece by piece.

Through powerful metaphors and deeply human reflections, Najwa reminds you that someone’s choice to leave says nothing about your worth. This episode is for anyone who has ever been left to carry the weight of broken promises and wondered how to rise again.

Show Notes & Timestamps

0:00 – Introduction
When someone walks away in a hurtful or unexpected way—betrayal, cheating, or abandonment.

1:12 – The shock of endings
Facing the denial and devastation when someone leaves suddenly.

2:55 – Allowing yourself to feel
Why you shouldn’t push away the shock or minimize the pain.

4:42 – Therapy lesson
Looking the truth directly in the eyes instead of turning away from it.

7:06 – Life isn’t fair
Why fairness and character don’t always align in relationships.

9:11 – Watering your own grass
A powerful metaphor on self-investment versus pouring everything into someone else.

12:10 – Who’s really the “bad guy” in walking away
Reframing walking away from something harmful as an act of self-heroism, not betrayal.

15:17 – Breaking the victim loop
Challenging the story that everyone always abandons you.

17:01 – Hope in the right places
Why hope placed in a toxic relationship can still exist—and how to replant it in fertile soil.

20:02 – Moving on doesn’t mean rushing
Healing means moving into self-love, not into another relationship.

21:00 – Don’t close the door on yourself
How not to let someone else’s abandonment teach you to abandon yourself.

22:28 – A visualization exercise
Learning to put down the weight you’ve been carrying.

23:14 – The grocery store story
A reminder about receiving help and recognizing who pays attention to your struggles.

25:08 – Who really sees your pain
Choosing the people who notice your suffering and step in to help.

29:16 – A blessing in disguise
Why someone leaving can be a gift for every future version of you.

30:07 – Words That Found Me
Taylor Swift’s My Tears Ricochet and the imagery of “jewels” as metaphors for what people take from us.

34:19 – Words That Held Me
Reading Other Places from The Book of Healing.

35:20 – Final reflections
Your worth is untouched by someone else’s choice to leave.