Abusers do not just lie. They build entire realities that feel safer than the truth. Realities where doubt keeps you tethered, confusion feels normal, and leaving feels unthinkable. If you have ever felt like you were trapped inside a story you could not escape, this conversation will land deep.

Lisa sits down with psychologist and author Dr. Alan Godwin to unpack how abusers construct false realities through isolation, narrative control, and emotional manipulation. Together, they explore how these story-based fortresses are built slowly, why they target our deepest need to belong, and how abnormal behavior becomes normalized over time. What begins as trust turns into attachment, and attachment becomes the very thing used against you.

Alan explains why intelligent, self-aware people are especially vulnerable. Not because they are naive, but because abusers exploit empathy, loyalty, and the human instinct to give the benefit of the doubt. Lisa weaves in lived experience, naming the moment when what is true gets replaced with what only sounds true, and why survivors often end up defending the lie that is hurting them.

This episode is about understanding how you became blind, and why that blindness was never a personal failure.

The truth cracks the fortress. And once you see it, you can begin finding your way back to yourself.

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You’re not crazy for thinking therapy would help. You were taught that relationships can be “fixed” if you just try harder, communicate better, or show more empathy. But when you sit beside someone who thrives on blame, chaos, and control, therapy doesn’t heal the relationship, it becomes another weapon used against you. 

Dr. Peter Salerno, psychotherapist and expert in personality pathology, joins Lisa to dismantle one of the most dangerous myths survivors are sold: that couples counseling can repair abusive dynamics. He breaks down why disordered partners don’t collaborate, why they show up as “model clients,” and how therapists who aren’t trained in pathology end up validating abuse, deepening your confusion, and escalating the danger. 

Together they expose how language from therapy (boundaries, respect, communication) gets twisted into ammunition, and why survivors often leave sessions questioning themselves instead of the abuse. 

This conversation is a lifeline if you’ve ever left therapy feeling smaller, more ashamed, or more bonded to someone who’s harming you. You’re not the problem, the dynamic is. Seeing the truth is the first step toward reclaiming your safety, clarity, and self.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

You didn’t “miss the signs.” Your brain protected you from them.

That’s not stupidity, it’s survival.

Dr. Jennifer Freyd, the researcher who coined the term DARVO and “betrayal blindness,” joins Lisa to unpack the psychology behind why survivors don’t see abuse while it’s happening. 

Together, they break down how the mind hides danger to preserve attachment, why love and dependence make leaving so hard, and how abusers exploit that instinct to keep you blind.

This episode isn’t about shame, it’s about biology. Your brain did exactly what it was built to do: protect you from losing the person you thought you needed. Seeing that truth is the beginning of your freedom.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

You can’t love a narcissist hard enough to make them change.

And loyalty isn’t the cure — it’s the trap.
In this powerful conversation, Lisa sits down with psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Elinor Greenberg to dismantle the fantasy that love or faith can “fix” someone who refuses to see themselves. Dr. Greenberg breaks down why narcissists don’t collaborate in therapy, how “reluctant obedience” can masquerade as progress, and why their apologies often serve performance, not repair. Together, they expose the illusion of change and the emotional cost of waiting for it.

Dr. Greenberg also introduces her concept of Narcissistic Judo — practical, reality-based strategies to help survivors protect their peace when they can’t yet leave. This episode is both validating and disarming, cutting through the noise with clarity and compassion: you didn’t fail to love them right. They failed to love you at all.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Control doesn’t always look like control. Sometimes it looks like care, protection, or “respect.” That’s what makes coercive control the most dangerous form of abuse because it hides in plain sight.

Dr. Christine Cocchiola, clinician, survivor, and one of the world’s leading experts on coercive control, joins Lisa to expose the playbook every abusive man uses. From “I just don’t like your friends” to “I’m only trying to protect you,” Christine breaks down how control starts as suggestion, grows through compliance, and ends in captivity. Together, they reveal why love was never the problem, the erosion of your liberty was.

This conversation shatters the myth that abuse only counts if it leaves a bruise. When he controls your choices, your time, your body, or your sense of self… that’s not love, that’s domination disguised as devotion.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Therapists hear what people say in marriage. Divorce lawyers see what people do when it ends. And what they see tells the truth about power, control, and the quiet games that keep women stuck in “high-conflict” divorces. 

Lisa sits down with family lawyer and content creator Justin Lee to expose the patterns behind the myth that “women ruin men in divorce.” They unpack how abusers weaponize the court system — dragging out cases, withholding money, and using children as pawns — while claiming victimhood online. 

Justin breaks down what really happens behind the scenes: why women file after years of trying, how financial control becomes legal abuse, and why the system isn’t rigged for women, but against fairness itself. This conversation is a masterclass in seeing through the “crazy ex-wife” narrative and a reminder that justice may take time, but your peace is worth fighting for.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

“Abuse isn’t gendered.”

That phrase gets thrown around every time women speak up. Yet,  it’s not true and it’s not harmless.

Lisa sits down with Rebecca Pacheco, Education and Development Manager at Embrave: Agency to End Violence, to break down why gender can’t be removed from the conversation on violence. Together they unpack the difference between domestic violence and gender-based violence, the patriarchal systems that sustain abuse, and how funding cuts and systemic neglect leave survivors with nowhere to turn.

Rebecca shares what life looks like on the front lines — shelters filled beyond capacity, survivors turned away, and the impossible choices women face when “just leaving” isn’t an option. 

This isn’t about politics or blaming men; it’s about naming the truth. Abuse is rooted in inequality, entitlement, and the belief that power belongs to one gender. Naming that truth is how we change it.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

If you’ve ever said yes to sex when every part of you wanted to say no, that’s not “being a good partner,” It’s coercion. 

Coercion is abuse.

Lisa sits down with certified sex therapist and clinical sexologist Dr. Danielle Kramer to talk about sexual coercion, consent, and how entitlement destroys intimacy. They unpack the cultural conditioning that teaches men to pursue and women to comply — and how that conditioning turns connection into control.

Dr. Kramer breaks down the difference between persuasion and coercion, how purity culture fuels sexual shame, and what healing looks like when you’ve been taught your body is an obligation.

This conversation will make you rethink what real consent and intimacy actually mean — and remind you that sex isn’t something done to you. It’s something done with you.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

“If it was really abuse, you would’ve left.” That lie has silenced survivors for decades. The truth? Most women in abusive relationships don’t know it’s abuse, because abusers work hard to make sure they don’t. Lisa sits down with trauma therapist and “Love & Trust Therapist” Chelli Pumphrey to unpack the psychology behind not knowing. They dive into gaslighting, cognitive dissonance, and how abusers weaponize your empathy, optimism, and attachment against you. Chelli also shares her own story — as both a therapist and survivor — revealing how smart, capable women can still get trapped in psychological warfare disguised as love. This conversation will help you truly understand that manipulation is by design. Naming that truth is where your healing begins.

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

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Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

We keep telling men to “open up” and “be more emotional,” but that’s not the problem — and it’s definitely not the solution. Real strength isn’t found in suppressing feelings or turning men into girlfriends; it’s found in presence, purpose, and the courage to lead with heart and integrity. 

Lisa sits down with men’s coach Nick Matiash, founder of The Evolved Man, to dismantle outdated myths about masculinity, fatherhood, and emotional expression. Nick shares how breaking down on his kitchen floor with a newborn at home became the turning point that reshaped his understanding of what real manhood looks like — not fragile, not performative, but grounded. 

This conversation cuts through culture-war noise and gets to the truth: men aren’t broken, but what they’ve been taught about being a man is. 

If you’ve ever felt unseen by the men in your life — or wondered why connection feels so hard to build — this one’s for you.

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach
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Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.