Relationships Uncensored: Real Talk with Lisa Sonni

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

The Science Behind Why He Won’t Change | Dr. Justin Nussbaum If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem incapable of real change no matter how much therapy, pleading, or effort goes in, this episode delivers the science that explains it.

Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Justin Nussbaum to break down the genetics and neuroscience behind personality traits, narcissism, and personality disorders. 

They explore the significant role of heritability (often 50-70%), twin studies, and how genetics and environment interact to shape empathy, emotional regulation, and behavior patterns. 

Dr. Nussbaum busts common myths about trauma being the sole cause of abusive or narcissistic behavior, explains neurological pathways involved in empathy (or the lack of it), and discusses the realistic limits of change. 

This conversation empowers survivors with a clearer, science-based understanding of why hoping for transformation in certain personalities can keep them stuck — and why recognizing these biological realities is key to making safer, healthier decisions. A must-listen for anyone seeking clarity, validation, and freedom from false hope in toxic relationships.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever wondered why abusers do what they do, whether therapy actually works for them, or how we can truly break the generational cycle of domestic violence — this episode gives you clear, compassionate, and unflinching answers.

Lisa Sonni sits down with Stephen Ng (also known as Steven Ng), a seasoned Marriage and Family Therapist with decades of experience working with abusers, survivors, and families. Drawing from both his professional expertise and personal journey, Stephen challenges common myths about domestic violence and offers a deeper understanding of what real, lasting change requires. This is an educational conversation for anyone who wants safer relationships, stronger communities, and real prevention of abuse. 

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever recognized the abuse but felt completely paralyzed and unable to leave, this episode explains exactly why that happens and how to break free. Lisa Sonni speaks with Chelli Pumphrey, a trauma-informed therapist specializing in attachment and relational healing. 

Drawing from both professional expertise and her own lived experience, Chelli unpacks trauma bonds as powerful biochemical and attachment-based phenomena, the cognitive dissonance and analysis paralysis that keep survivors stuck, and how anxious attachment styles fuel the painful cycle of highs and lows.

She also explores the primal fear of leaving, the grief of letting go of the idealized future, and practical strategies for shifting attachment patterns, rebuilding self-trust, and finding safety. The conversation highlights the power of self-compassion, decentering the abuser, and the vital support of communities like the She Rises Collective. This episode offers deep validation and real hope: leaving is hard, but it almost always leads to greater peace, safety, and happiness. Healing is possible—you don’t have to do it alone.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever been cheated on, then blamed for it while he expected you to just move on and stay, this episode will validate your experience and cut through the confusion.

Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Kathy Nickelson to explore the dangerous overlap between infidelity and abusive, controlling behavior. They break down why cheating in abusive relationships is rarely “just about sex” or immaturity — it’s often rooted in entitlement, power, and a lack of accountability. 

The conversation clearly distinguishes between typical infidelity and patterns of emotional or physical abuse, helping listeners spot performative remorse versus genuine change. Dr. Nickelson shares insights on the role of childhood conditioning, attachment wounds, boundary-setting, and why hoping for change without real consequences often keeps women stuck. This episode empowers survivors with clarity around self-trust, safety, and the realistic path to healing.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

In this episode, Dr. Nadine Macaluso — trauma bond expert and survivor of narcissistic abuse — reveals the sophisticated con tactics narcissists use to manipulate, trap, and control their partners. Drawing from her personal journey as the real-life ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street and her clinical expertise, she explains the stages of abuse, including love bombing, mirroring, gaslighting, and the painful switch from charm to control.

Dr. Nadine explores the biological addiction of trauma bonds, the specific traits abusers target in victims, and why it’s so difficult to recognize and leave these relationships. She also addresses shame, cognitive dissonance, and the path to healing through community support and self-compassion.
This conversation offers powerful validation, clarity, and hope for anyone recovering from toxic relationships.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever heard “women just lie for attention,” “false accusations are ruining men’s lives,” or wondered why so many survivors wait years to speak up—this episode cuts through the noise with honesty and evidence.

Lisa Sonni sits down with Reagan (Reagan Reacts / Buckle Up Babes), a sharp content creator who breaks down abuse, misconduct, and the societal narratives that protect abusers while silencing victims. Together they dismantle the most common myths around abuse allegations, expose systemic failures, and explain why coming forward is so incredibly difficult for most women. This is a raw, well-researched conversation that challenges victim-blaming culture and highlights the real dynamics of power, trauma, and justice.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you've ever felt terrified to date again after abuse, wondered why your "radar" keeps failing you, or questioned how to trust yourself (and others) moving forward—this episode is going to validate everything you've sensed and give you clear, practical tools to move forward with confidence. Canada’s Dating Coach Chantel Hyde joins us to share her powerful insights drawn from sociology, psychology, personal experience, and years of coaching women through healing and dating. We dive deep into why slowing down is non-negotiable, how to properly vet partners, the biology and psychology behind toxic attraction, and how to rebuild your self-respect so you never settle for less again. This conversation dismantles the societal conditioning that leads women into unhealthy dynamics and replaces it with empowering strategies for choosing (and being chosen by) high-quality partners.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you've ever been told your standards are too high, that you're trying to change him, or that real love means accepting everything he does - this episode is going to name something you've been feeling for a long time but maybe couldn't say out loud.

Therapist, educator, and LCSW Aishia Grevenberg is back for her third conversation with me, and this time we're getting into why abusive men genuinely believe love should be unconditional - and why that belief has nothing to do with love. What they're really asking for isn't a partner. It's a mother. And once you understand the dominance dynamic underneath that demand, so much of what happened to you starts to make a different kind of sense.

We talk about why your needs feel like a threat to a man who needs control, the difference between pity and compassion and how men use one to keep you stuck, what love bombing actually does to a woman who grew up without a baseline for healthy love, and why having conditions in a relationship isn't selfish - it's the bare minimum. If someone has ever made you feel like your standards were the problem, this one will make you feel a lot less crazy and a lot less alone.

Find Aishia: @mytherapistlife on all platforms

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

You know what gaslighting is.

”You're too sensitive.” ”I was just joking.” ”That never happened.”

But there is a version of gaslighting that is much harder to name. It does not announce itself. It works slowly, through tone and framing and forgetfulness and calm. And by the time you notice it, you have already started doubting your own memory, your own perception, and your own mind.

Lisa sits down with Dr. Robin Stern, therapist, author, and co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, to go deep on the 5 covert tactics that most people never recognize as gaslighting.

Dr. Stern is clear that these tactics are not always conscious, but in the hands of someone who uses them consistently, the effect is the same. You stop trusting yourself. You begin organizing your life around avoiding his reaction. You forget who you were before the confusion started.

Because sometimes the calmest person in the room is causing the most damage.

Resources mentioned:

• The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern
• Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you have ever wondered whether you are the toxic one, the narcissist, the problem…that question is not a coincidence, it was put there on purpose.

Lisa sits down with Emma Davey, trauma-informed counsellor and master's candidate in the psychology of coercive and controlling behaviour, to break down exactly how abusive men flip the script. Together they walk through how self-blame gets installed from the very beginning, why the fawn response has so many women working overtime to manage someone else's mood, and what DARVO actually looks like in real time inside a relationship and in court.

They also get into the fight response, the moment you finally explode after months or years of being poked, prodded, and worn down, and why that moment gets weaponized as proof that you are the unstable one. Emma is clear: that reaction does not make you the abuser, it makes you human. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was built to do.

One of the most important reframes in this conversation is also one of the simplest. The person genuinely causing harm is not lying awake at night wondering if they are hurting you. They are not on YouTube looking for answers. You are. And that tells you everything you need to know.

Resources mentioned:

• Mynara app by Emma Davey (evidence tracking, disguised as a calculator)
• My Trauma Therapy: mytraumatherapy.co.uk

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.