Relationships Uncensored: Real Talk with Lisa Sonni

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If noticing a pattern has ever made you the problem, this episode explains why. Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Will, a licensed psychologist and director of the Center for Connection in Santa Barbara, to unpack how patriarchy, coercion, and gaslighting teach women to doubt their own judgment. 

They explore how controlling behavior can be framed as care, how pattern recognition gets dismissed as anxiety, and why the burden of proof so often falls on women. The conversation looks at early conditioning around compliance and keeping the peace, covert abuse that hides behind plausible deniability, and why asking whether he “meant it” can distract from the impact of repeated harm. Dr. Will brings a liberation-based lens that emphasizes safety, community, and connection—and the reminder that liberation is a collective effort, not something you have to carry alone.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

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This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

Abusive Men Aren’t Monsters: They’re Products of a Culture Men Help Protect | Jackson Katz If treating abusers as rare “monsters” has ever made the problem feel smaller than it is, this episode names why that story lets so many men off the hook. Lisa Sonni sits down with educator and author Jackson Katz to explain why domestic violence, sexual assault, and harassment belong to a larger system of gender inequality—and why prevention, accountability, and cultural change are men’s work, not just women’s. 

They unpack how “boys will be boys” lowers the bar, how boys are often socialized away from empathy, and how victim-blaming and monster narratives both help ordinary men avoid intervening. Katz also makes the case that feminism is good for men too: less restrictive masculinity, better relationships, and more honest conversations about power. The core message is clear: this is not about isolated bad guys. It is about a culture men help protect—and can help change.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever been told that men are naturally wired to protect and provide—while being controlled, restricted, or blamed in the name of “safety”—this episode takes that story apart. Lisa Sonni sits down with Lisa Carr, known online as YV Edit, to unpack how the protector/provider myth often functions as control, coercion, and victim-blaming rather than genuine care. 

They ask the question the narrative avoids: protect women from whom? The conversation looks at how “protection” can become curfews, clothing rules, location tracking, isolation, and obedience demanded in exchange for provision. Lisa and Lisa Carr discuss family, policing, religion, child support, and everyday examples that show how often women are not protected by the men closest to them. The core message is simple: real protection does not require ownership, compliance, or submission. If someone is truly safe, they build safety without making you pay for it.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

Coercive Control: When You’re “Allowed” to Choose, But Pay for It | Lindsay Stoker If you’ve ever been “allowed” to do something, then paid for it with pressure, silence, tracking, or fear, this episode names that pattern. Lisa Sonni sits down with Lindsay Stoker, a 20-year stenographic court reporter and author of the forthcoming book The Control Code, to explain how coercive control hides behind permission, concern, and behavior that looks deniable from the outside.

They unpack how control is built in tiny increments—constant texting, stonewalling, isolation, location tracking, and “boundaries” used to punish—until you start self-policing to stay safe. Lindsay frames early love bombing as territory acquisition and control as an engine that extracts compliance at the lowest cost. The key question is not what you were technically allowed to do, but what happened when you pushed back. Recognizing the pattern early matters, because fear itself is part of the abuse—and coercive control is strongly tied to lethality.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

How Abusers Use Technology to Track, Watch & Control You | Dr. Christine Cocchiola If “I just worry about you” or “text me when you get there” has ever felt more like monitoring than care, this episode explains why. Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, whose work in domestic violence, sexual assault crisis, and protective parenting helps survivors name coercive control—especially when it hides inside location sharing, passwords, and digital access that look protective at first. 

They break down how tech-enabled abuse can include tracking, account access, hidden cameras, phone and Wi-Fi surveillance, and devices disguised in everyday objects. Dr. Cocchiola emphasizes that patterns matter more than isolated requests: when a request becomes a rule and the rule keeps expanding, your agency shrinks. The conversation also covers post-separation abuse, why coercive control is a serious safety warning, and why strategy—not proving the truth to someone unsafe—is often the path to protection.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever felt like the household manager while your partner acts helpless, this episode brings the nuance most conversations miss. Lisa Sonni sits down with Paige Turner, a mother of four and creator who talks about marriage, motherhood, and domestic labor, to unpack where weaponized incompetence ends and ordinary friction begins. 

They look at everyday examples—the dishwasher, the sink, snow gear, and “just give me a list”—and ask the real question: is your partner willing to learn and change, or is the work quietly landing back on you? The conversation challenges the idea that “you’re just better at it” means you should own it forever, explains how lists create a manager-employee dynamic, and names why time—not money—is the real currency of fairness at home. 

Paige and Lisa also make space for the gray area: not every conflict is abuse, but repeated shutdowns, defensiveness, and blame-shifting can signal something much more serious. Healthy partnerships can handle curiosity, accountability, and follow-through. If the inequity feels bad, that feeling is information—not a personal failing.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

If you’ve ever been hurt, reacted, and then watched your reaction become the only thing that mattered, this episode names that pattern clearly. Lisa Sonni sits down with therapist Dr. Les Carter, who brings more than 40 years of experience in counseling, anger management, and emotional wellness, to unpack why narcissistic abuse feels so destabilizing. 

They break down the control tactics, double binds, “gotcha” dynamics, and DARVO-style flipping that turn your distress into the problem while the original harm disappears. 

Dr. Carter explains how narcissists operate from a false self, stay highly defensive, and often remain stuck in what he calls “trained incompetence.” Together they distinguish healthy boundaries from control, healthy interdependence from codependence, and emphasize that you are responsible for your own well-being—not for fixing someone committed to misunderstanding you. The takeaway is powerful: make room for the reality of the relationship, stay connected to supportive people, and trust your own perceptions again.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

You Don’t Need to Trust Men. You Need to Trust Yourself to Leave. | Sarah Robles If you’ve ever felt terrified of dating again after abuse, this episode offers both validation and a clear path forward.

Lisa Sonni sits down with Sarah Robles to explore how survivors can rebuild self-trust, recognize red flags, and navigate the complex process of opening up to love after trauma. They discuss how abusers create false realities, the impact of hypervigilance and limerence, and why internal healing is essential before (and while) dating again. 

Sarah shares practical strategies for vetting partners through pattern recognition, pacing, and discernment, while emphasizing the importance of challenging limiting beliefs and finding the “hope core” — the possibility of healthy love after trauma. This conversation reminds survivors that the goal isn’t to blindly trust others, but to trust themselves enough to leave when something isn’t safe.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

Former Secret Service Agent: You Don’t Need Proof, You Need the Pattern | Brad Beeler If you’ve ever been told to “wait for proof” before trusting your gut, this episode will set you free. Lisa Sonni sits down with retired Secret Service agent and author Brad Beeler to reveal why pattern recognition is far more powerful than waiting for hard evidence when identifying manipulation, deception, and emotional abuse.

Brad shares practical tools from his expertise in deception detection, explaining how manipulators rapidly build trust, exploit halo and horns bias, use social validation, and rely on push-pull tactics to gain control.

The conversation explores the importance of slowing down, observing consistent patterns of behavior, testing healthy boundaries, understanding the role of neurochemicals in emotional manipulation, and why you don’t need a smoking gun to recognize when something isn’t safe. A powerful, eye-opening episode for anyone ready to trust their intuition, break unhealthy patterns, and protect their peace with greater confidence and clarity.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!

The Most Effective Way To Lie | Dr. Abby Minaro If you’ve ever felt like something was off but couldn’t quite put your finger on the lie, this episode reveals exactly how abusers craft believable deception. Lisa Sonni sits down with behavioral scientist, author, and deception expert Dr. Abby Minaro (Dr. Abby Morono) to unpack the strategic psychology behind lying. They explore how abusers use “grains of truth,” context removal, and emotional framing to manipulate reality, making their lies far more convincing than outright fabrications. 

Dr. Minaro breaks down the difference between convincing and conveying, the pre-event, event, and post-event patterns that expose deception, and why the halo effect makes harmful people seem trustworthy. The conversation also highlights the role of shame, self-doubt, and radicalization-like tactics in abuse, while emphasizing that the strongest protection isn’t becoming a detective — it’s rebuilding self-trust, self-love, and the confidence to leave when something feels unsafe. A powerful, eye-opening episode for anyone ready to see manipulation clearly and trust themselves again.

Join Lisa Sonni & Dr. Peter Salerno in Boston, MA November 13-15, 2026 here: https://lisasonni.com/unbreakable-and-irreplaceable/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at lisasonni.com 

Book A Session with Lisa

Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. 

Follow on IG
Watch on YouTube

Get My Books Here

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.