Boundaries aren't walls to keep people out - they're your foundation for freedom, and most people get this completely wrong. Growing up in chaos teaches your nervous system that disappointing someone equals death, making you a gold medal people pleaser who manages everyone else's emotions while ignoring your own. Traditional boundary advice like "just say no" fails because it treats complex trauma responses like simple choices. Real boundary work starts with internal boundaries - learning to sit with discomfort instead of people-pleasing your way out, recognizing when you abandon yourself, and understanding that your anxiety might be your soul screaming for you to stop treating yourself like nothing.

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