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“If it was really abuse, you would’ve left.”  
 
 That lie has kept countless women silent and blamed for something that was never their fault.  

Psychological abuse is designed to confuse you. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with trauma therapist and survivor Chelli Pumphrey to expose why so many women don’t recognize abuse while they’re in it.  

Together, they unpack attachment theory, personality “super traits,” and how empathy, loyalty, optimism, and a belief in repair get weaponized against women who would never intentionally harm another person. Chelli shares her own story, even as a trained therapist, and names the shame that comes with realizing you were manipulated anyway. 

This episode dismantles the myth that abuse only happens to “certain kinds” of women. It explains why secure, capable, emotionally intelligent women are often targeted, and why staying isn’t a failure of strength, but the result of exploitation by design. 

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How did I not see it?” - this conversation will finally make it make sense. Here are two helpful resources to support your next steps: 

1. Personality.co Test 

2. She Rises Collective: A trauma informed healing community where women reclaim their voices, rebuild their confidence, and rise together, surrounded by women who truly get it. Co-led by Lisa Sonni and Chelli Pumphrey.

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