Ending your marriage means not only renegotiating your relationship with your spouse but also with your children. Reorganizing your family creates the opportunity for improving your relationship with your children. Sometimes it happens organically and sometimes it's more of a conscious decision. 

Sometimes, being a better parent is forced onto you like when you have parenting time and you're the only adult in the house. You're in charge and there's no falling back on your other parent. There's less opportunity to hide or cover up your mistakes, and we do all make them. Are you going to step up or just carry on as you were?

Sometimes, being in two households creates the freedom and the opportunity to craft your own parenting philosophy. While being closely aligned with your ex on parenting may make it easier, when that alignment conflicts with your personal beliefs, you can choose to follow your own style. That means you can be more authentic, you can hold true to your values and you can pass those on.

Sometimes, the real gem in two households is that you end up with more one-on-one time with your child and that means plenty of opportunity to deepen your connection.

Paul Ross, author of How To Profit From Your Divorce, has written about he discovered a new relationship with his daughter after his divorce and says, it was a relationship that was hidden during the 25 years of his marriage and may not have developed if he'd stayed married. Ross joins me for this episode of Conversations About Divorce.

You'll find a synposis of this conversation at my blog, Since My Divorce.