Your Secret Is Safe With Me

What exactly is an emotional affair, and how do you know if you're having one?

Despite how often the term gets used, there is surprisingly little agreement about what an emotional affair actually is. Many people find themselves wondering whether a close connection with someone else crosses a line, only to discover that there are no universal rules that can answer that question for them.

In this episode, I take a closer look at the concept of emotional affairs and why I've avoided discussing the topic for so long.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/235

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What do you do when you've decided you don't want to continue your affair, but you still desperately want to contact your affair partner?

So many people assume that if they truly wanted the relationship to end, they wouldn't feel the urge to reach out. But what if those urges don't mean you made the wrong decision at all?

In this episode, I talk about why learning how to tolerate the urge to contact your affair partner is very different from resisting or fighting the urge.

I explain why urges to reconnect are often the result of habit, emotional conditioning, and the brain's desire for familiar rewards, rather than proof that you should restart the relationship. I also walk you through why it's essential to make a clear decision about whether you actually want the relationship to end before trying to cut off contact.

You'll learn how to contact your affair partner less impulsively by becoming more aware of the physical sensations that accompany urges, rather than immediately reacting to them. This episode will help you understand how to allow difficult emotions without acting on them, why urges lose power when you stop resisting them, and how practicing this skill can give you more freedom, self-trust, and clarity in your decisions.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/234

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What does better sex actually require once you've clarified your desires and started rebuilding a connection with your partner?

If you want better sex in a long-term relationship, the next step isn't simply hoping that things improve. It's learning how to communicate, collaborate, and intentionally co-create a sexual relationship that works for both of you.

In this episode, I continue our conversation about better sex by focusing on the practical realities of reconnecting sexually with a committed partner.

Rather than assuming great sex should happen effortlessly, I challenge you to lead with curiosity, presence, and a genuine willingness to understand your partner as a sexual being, perhaps in ways you never fully have before.

Listen in this week to learn how to create better sex by taking initiative, building consistent opportunities for sensual connection, and focusing on what you can control rather than fixating on your partner's behavior. I share why understanding your partner's current perspective matters, how to approach conversations about sex more directly, and why explicit communication is often essential for creating a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/233

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What if having better sex has less to do with what you do in bed and more to do with how you show up with your partner every day?

If your sex life has been unsatisfying or nonexistent for a while, it's easy to assume the solution is something dramatic. But what if the real work starts somewhere much simpler?

If you want better sex, this episode will help you understand why presence and focus are essential, even when they take effort. You'll learn how to break out of patterns of distraction and disinterest, how to take responsibility for your role in the relationship dynamic, and how to begin creating the conditions where better sex can actually become possible.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/232

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

What does better sex actually mean to you, and have you ever really stopped to define it for yourself?

So many people say they want better sex, but when we look closer, they're focused on specific outcomes or details without ever considering the bigger picture of what creates a genuinely satisfying sexual experience.

Tune in this week to learn how to begin having better sex by examining your own desires, your mental and emotional experiences of sex, and the role your thinking plays in generating sexual desire. This is the foundation for having better sex, not just occasionally, but in a way that's intentional, aligned, and actually reflective of what you want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/231

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

When your infidelity situation starts to take over everything, it can feel like it's the only thing that matters, the only thing worth thinking about, and the only thing that will determine whether you're okay.

But what if the problem isn't just the situation itself, but how much space it's taking up in your life?

If you've been feeling consumed, stuck, or like your life is on hold, this episode will help you widen your lens and start making choices from a more grounded and intentional place.

Join me this week as I explore what happens when you become fixated on your infidelity situation and how that fixation can quietly shrink your world and distort your perspective. You'll learn why staying stuck in that mental loop often leads to more confusion and suffering, and why stepping back to look at your whole life can be one of the most powerful things you can do. I also introduce a simple but meaningful way to reconnect with yourself by asking what it's important for you to be, do, and have right now, rather than getting lost in the past or trying to predict the future.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/230

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

Radical un-shaming sounds lovely in theory, but what does it actually look like when you are dealing with desires, behaviors, or parts of yourself that other people insist are unacceptable?

In this episode, I'm joined by author, teacher, and counselor David Bedrick to talk about shame, morality, psychology, and the limits of a therapeutic model that divides people into victims and perpetrators, good people and bad people.

Together, we explore how infidelity and other taboo experiences are so often approached through judgment rather than curiosity, and why that leaves so much of our humanity unseen.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/229

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

Is it possible to deeply love your partner and still want to have sex or romantic experiences with someone else?

If you're in a committed relationship that was supposed to be monogamous, and you find yourself wanting more than that, you may feel confused, ashamed, or worried about what that says about you. You may wonder if something is wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship.

In this episode, we'll explore the reality that desire for more than one person is not inherently a problem and does not automatically mean your relationship is broken.

Tune in this week as I unpack how our ideas about monogamy are shaped by social and historical forces, why wanting something outside the bounds of monogamy doesn't make you defective, and why your first priority is figuring out what you actually want. You'll also learn how to examine the reasons behind wanting to cheat or open your relationship, and how to think more consciously about the consequences you're willing to tolerate.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/228

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

Have you been so immersed in your infidelity situation that it feels impossible to think clearly about anything else, let alone what you actually want from your love life?

When emotions run high and the drama feels all-consuming, it can be hard to step back and ask bigger, more honest questions about desire, fulfillment, and the life you're trying to build.

In this episode, I invite you to take a step back from the immediacy of your infidelity situation so you can reconnect with what truly matters to you.

Tune in to learn how gaining clarity about your own desires can shift how you see your infidelity situation and the choices in front of you. You'll hear why so many of us never define what love, sex, or romance actually mean to us, how unconscious assumptions can drive painful dynamics, and how stepping out of tunnel vision can help you make decisions that align with the life you want now, not the one shaped by drama or fear.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/227

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one

Have you ever been paralyzed by the fear of making a "bad decision" about your infidelity situation?

Maybe you're terrified that you'll leave a good-enough marriage to pursue your affair partner, only to have that relationship fall apart. Or perhaps you're scared that any choice you make will doom you to eternal misery.

Here's what I want you to know: You are never doomed by any single decision you make. In fact, I have real-time proof of this truth, and I'm sharing it with you on this episode.

Tune in this week to hear why you're never doomed by any single decision or set of decisions you make, and how making decisions for clear reasons you like prevents regret, even when the outcomes might surprise you. If you're stuck in analysis paralysis about your infidelity situation, this episode will help you understand that bold decisions aren't irreversible sentences.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/226

If you want my personalized attention and support, we can work together one-on-one. Find out more here: https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/one-on-one