Have you ever found yourself in the same toxic patterns—different people, but the same pain? In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Dr. Debi sits down with Keyleigh Clarkson, a therapist who brings both professional training and lived experience to the conversation around toxic relationships, trauma, and healing. 

From growing up in an unstable household to dating emotionally unavailable partners, Keyleigh shares how she broke the cycle of pain and reclaimed her self-worth. Together, Debi and Keyleigh explore the psychological roots of toxic relationship patterns, the impact of trauma on the nervous system, and—most importantly—how we can begin to heal. 

 

🔑 Key Topics Covered: 

• Keyleigh’s personal story of repeating toxic patterns from childhood to adulthood 

• What is Repetitive Compulsion? Understanding why we’re drawn to what hurts us 

• How trauma impacts the nervous system—and what that means for healing 

• Self-worth vs. self-love: Why “self-like” may be the missing step 

• The danger of outsourcing your worth—and how to bring it back home 

• Small daily promises as a powerful tool to rebuild self-trust 

• Recognizing when you’re stuck: repeating patterns in love, friendship, and work 

• Practical nervous system regulation tools (like the Butterfly Hug and 4-Square Breathing) 

• Signs you’re healing: subtle shifts that signal growth and transformation 

• Why the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other one 

 

💬 Memorable Quotes: 

“We often date the same person in a different body. That’s a sign we’re stuck in a familiar pain.” – Keyleigh Clarkson 

“Healing doesn’t start with affirmations—it starts with safety in the body.” – Keyleigh Clarkson 

“There is nothing wrong with you. People’s behavior says more about them than it ever did about you.” – Keyleigh Clarkson 

“If we’re outsourcing our self-worth, it can be taken as quickly as it’s given.” – Keyleigh Clarkson 

“Self-like comes before self-love.” – Keyleigh Clarkson 

 

🛠️ Practical Tools Mentioned: 

• Butterfly Hug (crossed thumbs, alternating taps on chest or knees) 

• 4-Square Breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, hold for 4 seconds each) 

• Daily self-promises (e.g., reading two pages, taking a walk, journaling) 

• Self-awareness exercises: Track recurring patterns in relationships 

• Micro meditations: Just 1 minute of stillness to begin retraining your nervous system 

 

💡 Final Takeaway: 

You are not broken. If you’ve found yourself in toxic relationships, it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it means you’re operating from learned survival patterns. Healing is possible, and it starts with reclaiming your self-trust, regulating your nervous system, and building a gentle, compassionate relationship with yourself—one promise at a time. 

 

Connect with Keyleigh Clarkson: 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamkeyleighclarkson/  

Connect with The PBT Institute:   The Reclaim Program – For the betrayed – Learn more here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/   

 

 

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