From Betrayal To Breakthrough

460: Why Your Coaching Tools Aren't Working (And It's Not Your Fault)


Listen Later

Do you have clients you just can't seem to reach—even though your tools work brilliantly with others? This episode reveals why traditional coaching methods often fall short with certain clients and what's really happening beneath the surface.

The Clients You Can't Reach

The Cycler Makes progress for weeks, then suddenly spirals back as if none of the work happened. You're building a foundation on quicksand.

The "Fine" Client Goes to work, takes care of responsibilities, shows up with a smile. They say they're okay—might even believe it—but you sense a flatness, a wall you can't get past.

The Body That Won't Heal Chronic fatigue, digestive issues, brain fog, insomnia, mystery pains their doctor can't explain. Stress management isn't helping because the body is holding something the mind can't release.

The Chronic Second-Guesser Can't make any decision—career moves, purchases, even what to eat for lunch. They've lost access to their inner knowing, and no amount of "trust yourself" coaching restores it.

The Analyzer Stuck obsessively revisiting the story, looking for new angles and insights. You've tried guiding them toward the future, but they can't leave the scene of the crime.

What's Really Happening: Unhealed Betrayal

These patterns all point to unhealed betrayal and Post Betrayal Syndrome®—a collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms so common to betrayal it's now formally recognized.

The Trust Shattering Effect:

  • Betrayal doesn't just break trust in others—it shatters trust in your own mind, judgment, and sense of reality

  • Clients can't trust their own thinking: "I believed this was what trust looked like, and I was completely wrong"

  • Without rebuilding self-trust first, they outsource their entire lives

Why "Fine" Isn't Finished: Stage Three of the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough™ is where clients feel functional again—but transformation doesn't even begin until Stages Four and Five. Clients at "fine" are managing symptoms, building walls, and missing the actual breakthrough.

The Gap in Traditional Training

You're not failing your clients—you were never trained for this. Even the right tool at the wrong stage won't land.

Common Mismatches:

  • Pushing someone to trust others before they've rebuilt self-trust

  • Creating a new identity when they're still in shock and trauma

  • Accepting "I'm fine" at face value when they're only halfway through

  • Using general trust-building when they need the specific components rebuilt

The Real Problem (And Solution)

When you don't know the Five Stages, you can't identify:

  • What stage your client is in

  • What language they're using

  • What they actually need right now

  • How to move them forward efficiently and correctly

Each stage has:

  • Specific phrasing clients use

  • Particular presentations and behaviors

  • Unique needs and readiness levels

  • Precise tools and approaches that work

Who This Serves

Whether you're a business coach, health coach, somatic practitioner, or any type of coach—betrayal-affected clients are coming your way. These tools work as:

  • A specialty focus if you want to work primarily with this population

  • Essential additions to your toolkit for when betrayal clients appear

  • The missing piece that lets you serve all your clients effectively

Key Takeaways

  1. It's not your fault—this training wasn't available

  1. It's not your client's fault—they're not being resistant, they're starting from a different place

  1. Your tools are good; they just need to match the stage

  1. The gap is closing—now you can learn exactly what to do

Learn More: The PBT Certification Program teaches you to identify stages, use stage-appropriate language, and guide clients from betrayal to breakthrough with confidence.

Visit: ThePBTInstitute.com

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

From Betrayal To BreakthroughBy Dr. Debi Silber

  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8

4.8

129 ratings


More shows like From Betrayal To Breakthrough

View all
The Terri Cole Show by Terri Cole

The Terri Cole Show

1,408 Listeners

Betrayal Trauma Recovery by Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

1,429 Listeners

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer by Geoff & Jody Steurer

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

207 Listeners

The Healing Trauma Podcast by Monique Koven

The Healing Trauma Podcast

435 Listeners

Flying Free by Natalie Hoffman

Flying Free

1,069 Listeners

Helping Couples Heal Podcast by Marnie Breecker

Helping Couples Heal Podcast

442 Listeners

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast by Kate Anthony, CPCC

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

572 Listeners

Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs by Lisa A. Romano

Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs

777 Listeners

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE by Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

195 Listeners

No Visible Bruises by Caroline Strawson

No Visible Bruises

519 Listeners

The Covert Narcissism Podcast by Renee Swanson, Bleav

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

46 Listeners

Waking Up to Narcissism by Tony Overbay LMFT

Waking Up to Narcissism

692 Listeners

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse by Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

298 Listeners

You Are Not Crazy by Jessica Knight

You Are Not Crazy

86 Listeners