After the Affair

By Luke ShillingsSociety & Culture Relationships

After the Affair episodes

July 12, 2023 42. Pivot after Infidelity with Furkhan Dandia
In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Furkhan Dandia. Furkhan is a therapist, author, speaker and coach.
After going through adversity and working in the corporate world as an Engineer for many years, Furkhan decided to pivot and pursue a Master's in Psychology. He is passionate about making a difference in people’s lives and working with them to find their purpose.
Going through a divorce made him realise how much shame there is for men around failure. That further motivated him to help other men. After seeing the life-changing benefits of therapy, Furkhan decided to become a therapist. In addition to becoming a therapist, he has also released a book, Pursuit Of Self-Love: 30 Uplifting Messages and Reflections.
We discuss the ability to pivot following significant life events such as infidelity. The difficulties in expressing emotions, especially for men. Why do we fail to do the things we tell ourselves we 'should' do and the reason the 'plateau of latent potential' stop so many of us in our tracks.

You can find Furkhan on:
Instagram: @eunoiazen
TikTok: eunoia_zen
YouTube: eunoiazen
Facebook: EunoiaZen
LinkedIn: Furkhan Dandia

You can find myself, Luke Shillings:

www.lifecoachluke.com
[email protected]

Follow on Social media, IG, FB, TikTok @mylifecoachluke

47 min
July 05, 2023 41. The Aftermath - How to deal with Sudden Change
In the latest episode of "The After the Affair", join me as I navigate the treacherous waters of sudden change post-infidelity.
This change can leave us feeling disoriented and desperate for control, but what if we changed our perspective? What if we chose to view this alteration not as a disastrous upheaval but as a challenging opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery? As I venture into these deep waters, I’ll discuss the importance of reframing mindset, and learning to accept change, rather than resisting it.
Delve deeper into this topic with me as together we can explore how fighting change can only prolong the pain and delay the healing process.
I’ll discuss and uncover various strategies to cope with this major shift in your personal life. From mindfulness to prioritizing self-care and reaching out to your support networks, learn practical and effective techniques to accept and embrace change. Listen in to discover how you can convert life's unexpected detours into transformative paths towards growth and recovery.
Looking for someone to help you through this? The On Purpose coaching program is built to support your journey. Visit www.lifecoachluke.com to learn more.

Have a question for me ... reach out and contact me directly at [email protected] and ask me anything.

13 min
June 28, 2023 40. Looking Inside with Jen Frey
When we see things that aren't right in our relationships and have no idea how to fix them ... the easiest thing to do is look around and see what everyone else is doing.
We spend most of our lives trying to figure stuff out by comparison. The problem with this is, 'comparison is the thief of joy'. We are left feeling like we aren't good enough, or our partners aren't good enough. If only they would change and everything would be ok!
Join me today in a fascinating conversation with Master Certified Coach Jen Frey as we talk about confidence, worthiness, shame, the Reticular Activating System and the problem of looking externally to solve our relationship problems.

To find out more about what Jen does, here are the details:
Website: https://Jenfreycoaching.com
Jen's podcast - 'Think On Purpose' --> https://open.spotify.com/show/2jEtcnOmfsepmpoBzibkcH?si=sHwT3liFSoSWKBZvl9DUcw
Follow her on Instagram - https://instagram.com/jen.frey.coaching?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==

To find out more about working with me or learning from my additional resources:

On Purpose Coaching Program: www.lifecoachluke.com
Contact me directly: [email protected]

47 min
June 21, 2023 39. Unveiling EmpathMe - The Dark Side of Self-Empathy
In the aftermath of an affair, the path to healing is often paved with self-reflection and inner exploration. Join me as I delve into the depths of what I call "EmpathMe", a concept that shines a light on the darker side of self-empathy. In this podcast episode, I explore the complexities of navigating the aftermath of betrayal, revealing the challenges and breakthroughs that come with self-understanding.
I uncover the intricacies of "EmpathMe" and its role in post-affair healing. Join me on this journey of self-awareness, as we confront the uncomfortable truths.
If you're ready to confront your inner turmoil, find solace in vulnerability, and embark on a profound healing journey after betrayal, this podcast is for you. Tune in to "Unveiling EmpathMe" and discover the transformative potential that lies within the dark corners of self-empathy.

To find out what working with me might look like, visit www.lifecoachluke.com
To get on my subscriber to keep up with all the latest going's on at lifecoachlukeHQ then visit www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe today!

14 min
June 14, 2023 38. Breakthrough Conversations with Diana Maria Indries
In this captivating podcast episode, join me for a breakthrough conversation with the brilliant creator behind the relationship card game, 'Better Topics'.
Discover how this innovative game is revolutionizing communication within couples and fostering stronger connections. Through thought-provoking questions, exciting challenges, and rewarding experiences, the game serves as a catalyst for meaningful discussions and deeper connections.
My guest Diana Maria Indries, will delve into the inspiration behind 'Better Topics', sharing insights on how it empowers couples to engage in open, honest, and enriching conversations.
Prepare to uncover the secrets to building a deeper connection with your partner as we explore the transformative power of 'Better Topics' in this enlightening episode.

To get yourself a copy of the Better Topics game or to learn more visit: www.bettertopics.com
To contact Diana directly: [email protected]

To find out what working with me might look like, visit www.lifecoachluke.com
To get on my subscriber to keep up with all the latest going's on at lifecoachlukeHQ then visit www.lifecoachluke.com/subscribe today!
57 min
June 07, 2023 37. Identity - Who Am I Now?
Explore the intricate layers of personal identity in this captivating episode of "Identity - Who am I now?"
Join me as I navigate the complex interplay of culture, introspection, and major life events that shape who we are. As I share some of my own stories, I'll take a closer look at what creates our self-perception. I aim to help you reflect on my own identity, gain valuable insights, and embrace the ever-changing nature of self-discovery. Join me on this thought-provoking journey to answer the fundamental question: "Who am I now?"

Website: www.lifecoachluke.com

Discovery Call: www.lifecoachluke.com/booking-calendar/discovery-call

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/lifecoachluke
20 min
May 31, 2023 36. Couples Retreat - With Tamika Carlton
Join me in a fascinating discussion with Tamika Carlton about what Data Tells Us About Couples Retreats & Why It Matters (aka what happens when science + love combine). It’s more than just intimacy, partnership, or even challenges.
Data shows the impact of relationships on our lives, and a study published by the U.S. Travel Association found that seven in 10 couples who travel together say talking and reconnecting is an important reason to spend time alone together while on vacation.

Tamika is a Relationship Coach and avid traveller who believes in the power of forging meaningful connections! She is the creator of an inclusive relationship company, Couples Experience that hosts luxury couples retreats, offering couples subscription gift boxes and a couples membership community. Tamika has been featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Authority Magazine, HerForward, and other high-profile media outlets. With couples, her goal is to create a space of comfort & transparency so they can share stories and recognize their love is important to them as well as in building a better society – massive shifts have come from her kindhearted yet direct communication method.

In the days and weeks after a couples retreat, many of the couples she works with report feeling more connected to each other, feeling a deeper connection, and having more passion in their relationship - let's talk about why!

To find out more about Tamika and what she does:

Membership: https://www.couples-experience.com/couples-membership/

Retreats: https://www.couples-experience.com/retreats/

Couples experience Gift Box (U.S. Only): https://couplesexperiencestore.net/products/couples-box

Website: www.couplesexperience.net

Want to find out more about working with Luke?
Visit: https://linktr.ee/lifecoachluke

46 min
May 23, 2023 35. Reject Compromise - Rethinking Resolution in Relationships
Reject Compromise: Rethinking Resolution in Relationships challenges conventional wisdom around conflict resolution, focusing specifically on the concept of compromise.

In this thought-provoking episode, I explore alternative ways of addressing disagreements that promote mutual understanding and satisfy both parties' core needs, proving that compromising isn't always the best route to harmony.
Tune in to learn strategies that foster healthier and more fulfilling relationships without the baggage of resentment.

Let me know your thoughts - Contact me directly at [email protected]

Visit www.lifecoachluke.com for the latest episodes, blog posts and information
20 min
May 17, 2023 34. Resentment Reboot - Trust yourself after Betrayal
Resentment and bitterness are common feelings after you have been betrayed. They are easy to justify and really seem to help alleviate all responsibility.

In this episode, you'll learn how these two emotions are closely related to your own self-trust, what potential pitfalls that can cause, and how to do something about it.

Got a question? Send it to [email protected]

Want to have a chat and see how I can help? Visit: www.lifecoachluke.com and schedule a free call.

14 min
May 10, 2023 33. Forgiveness with Nicole Harvick - The Quantum Energy Healer
Join me in this episode as I explore the lesser-known world of Quantum Energy Healing with Forgiveness expert, Nicole Harvick.
She believes all healing must start with Self-Forgiveness.
Some of the modalities that she uses in her healing practice include Reiki,
Sound Therapy, Cellular Memory Healing, and Mild Hypnosis.
She can pinpoint stuck energies from ancestral or childhood trauma which
need to be identified and released to facilitate the healing process. Nicole has always been in communication with the spirit world but in 2010, she began to reach a deeper understanding of spirit and how they communicate. She discovered that spirits sense things the same way that humans do and that they move towards those with the gift of mediumship. They speak to those with open minds and hearts that accept and believe in their world and move towards those who are not afraid of them. It was at this time that she began to communicate with the spirit world on a regular basis.

Nicole uses her Clair abilities which include Clairaudience (hearing voices) Clairvoyance (seeing images) Clairsentience (feelings) and Clair cognizance (knowing) Working with these abilities has helped Nicole to be more intuitive with her clients needs and to help them explore aspects of themselves buried deeply in their subconscious.
Nicole is a notable speaker on such topics as Forgiveness, Self-Love, and Self-Healing.
Her goal is to touch as many lives as possible by helping people to find what they desire, require, and deserve which then allows them to walk their earthly journey with emotional freedom, love, and grace.

Find out more about Nicole: www.nicoleharvick.com
Find her on Instagram Nicole Harvick (@nicolesharvick) • Instagram photos and videos
44 min

About After the Affair

From the publisher's feed

The ‘After the affair’ podcast with Luke Shillings is here to help you process, decide, and move forward on purpose following infidelity. Let’s explore what’s required to rebuild trust not only in…