For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Understanding how your thoughts shape your emotions is key to managing anger and finding happiness. In this episode, anger expert Alastair shares that it's not events themselves that trigger feelings of anger or frustration, but rather the stories people tell themselves about those events.

He also discusses the ETFA model and highlights how this model can apply both to anger and happiness. Learn also about the importance of gratitude and generosity and how these practices can significantly enhance happiness and emotional resilience.

By changing your inner dialogue, listeners can take control of their emotions and improve their overall well-being.

Key Takeaways:

• The way you think about an event can change how you feel about it.
• Practicing gratitude daily can help shift your focus towards positivity and joy.
• Learning the ETFA model can empower you to control your emotional responses effectively.
• Your thoughts are a powerful tool in shaping your experiences of anger and happiness.
• Small acts of kindness and generosity can significantly boost your own happiness levels.
• Shifting your perspective can unlock deeper joy, even during challenging times.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Sometimes it’s not the shouting, the slammed doors or even the broken walls that change you. Sometimes it’s just a look — the fear you see in someone you love.

In this powerful episode you will hear Tony's story. Tony is a man who enrolled in The Complete Anger Management System soon after he realised that unchecked anger was damaging not just to himself but to his loved ones. In this episode Tony shares his journey from denial to awareness, sparked by a moment that revealed how his anger affected his wife.

This episode dives into the importance of recognising one’s anger and seeking help, and shows that change is possible. Anger expert Alastair Duhs guides listeners through Tony’s story, emphasising that real growth comes from amongst other things, facing hard truths.

Key Takeaways:

• Tony's journey illustrates that sometimes a single moment can spark real change.
• Realising you have an anger problem is the first crucial step toward healing.
• Asking for help shows strength, not weakness, and can lead to personal growth.
• The tools learned in anger management can change how loved ones experience you.
• Small steps every day can lead to significant changes in managing anger effectively.
• The Complete Anger Management System allows for learning at one's own pace, making it easier to absorb and apply techniques.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Feeling that simmering anger inside can be tough, and many people carry it long after the hurt has happened. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs dives into forgiveness and how it can truly set one free.

Holding onto anger only traps you, keeping you stuck emotionally and physically. In this episode, you will learn seven practical steps to let go of that anger, focusing on real tools rather than just vague advice.

Key Takeaways:

• Holding onto anger only harms yourself, causing stress and tension in the body.
• Empathy allows for understanding others' actions, helping to release feelings of resentment.
• Letting go of anger is essential for personal healing and moving forward in life.
• Self-compassion is crucial; treating oneself with kindness makes it easier to forgive others.
• Forgiveness is a personal choice that liberates a person from past resentment and pain.
• Recognising everyone's imperfections can soften anger and foster understanding.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Angela's story dives into the inter-generational cycle of abuse and how it can shape a person's life. Growing up in a home filled with control and emotional pain, she learned that anger was just part of life. However, after feedback from her husband and realising that these patterns affected her relationships and parenting, Angela decided to break free from this cycle.

She enrolled in The Complete Anger Management System and began to understand that the anger she felt wasn't just hers; it was a legacy passed down through generations. This episode is a raw and honest account of her journey towards building a calmer, more connected life, showing that change is possible and that one can choose a different path for themselves and their family.

Key Takeaways:

• Anger can be inherited from family, often tied to trauma and survival.
• Angela's story shows how past pain can affect present relationships and parenting.
• Choosing to change is powerful; Angela decided her past wouldn't dictate her future.
• Understanding different types of anger helps to manage it better in daily life.
• Breaking the cycle of anger is crucial for healthier family dynamics and relationships.
• Seeking help for anger is a sign of strength, not weakness; change is possible.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Being right often costs more than it's worth, especially in relationships. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs dives into how the need to win arguments often leads to frustration and disconnection. He emphasizes that judgmental thinking can fuel anger and conflict, making it crucial to shift towards understanding and connection instead.

This episode also explores practical steps to embrace open-mindedness and respecting different perspectives even when they clash with one's own.

Key Takeaways:

• The need to be right can cost you more than it's worth.
• Judgmental thinking leads to arguments and makes it harder to connect with others.
• Open-mindedness is the antidote to judgmental thinking and fuels understanding in relationships.
• Recognising that different perspectives don’t mean someone is wrong is essential for growth.
• Taking a step back and saying 'maybe' can help soften arguments and lead to connection.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Emotional abuse can be hard to spot, but it leaves deep scars that often go unseen. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs dives deep into what emotional abuse really is, discussing how it can manifest in relationships through behaviors like constant criticism, sarcasm, and gaslighting.

Learn the importance of self-awareness as the first step in recognising these harmful patterns and reflect on your actions to consider how their anger might impact others.

Change is possible, but it requires commitment and often the help of a professional.

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional abuse can silently damage relationships, leaving no visible scars but causing deep emotional wounds.
• Recognising the subtle signs of emotional abuse is crucial to stopping harmful patterns before they escalate.
• Self-awareness is the first step towards change; it helps identify when anger is becoming harmful.
• Change requires effort and commitment; seeking professional help can guide you through the process of healing.
• Emotional abuse often develops as a pattern over time, starting with small criticisms that grow more damaging.
• Understanding the impact of emotional abuse on children is essential, as it can shape their future relationships.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode you will learn how anger isn't just something that happens to you; it's something you can choose how to manage. While anger often feels automatic, it’s essential to recognise the early signs of anger building up. By being aware of these signs, you can take control of your anger and decide how to respond rather than just react.

Finally, listeners are encouraged to explore their choices regarding anger and to seek support, emphasising that they aren't alone in this journey.

Key Takeaways:

• Anger can feel automatic, but it's important to understand that we have control over our reactions.
• Awareness is key to managing anger; we must notice our feelings and thoughts as they arise.
• Beliefs shape how we react to situations; changing our beliefs can lead to different emotional responses.
• Communication is vital in relationships; active listening can help de-escalate anger during conflicts.
• Challenging and changing deep-seated beliefs takes time and effort, but it's a valuable journey.
• Using coping mechanisms and support systems can empower individuals to manage their anger effectively.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Michael's story shows how even small frustrations can cause significant damage to relationships. Michael, a successful 77 year-old man thought his anger was harmless until he learned from his wife and daughter that they often felt anxious around him. This revelation pushed him to take action and make meaningful changes in his life.

Through awareness and small adjustments, like keeping an anger diary and pausing before reacting, Michael improved his marriage and regained control of his emotions.

It's never too late to change; Michael's story proves that with effort, anyone can cultivate calmer, happier relationships.

Key Takeaways:

• Anger can cause damage in ways we might not realise until we ask loved ones.
• Michael learned that even minor frustrations can create big problems in relationships.
• Recognising one's anger triggers is essential for managing emotions effectively and responsibly.
• Small changes in behavior, like keeping an Anger Diary, can lead to significant improvements.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, we dive into the Winner’s Triangle - a powerful model to build trust, respect, and deeper connections in your relationships.

Learn how to shift from blame to accountability, practice active listening without judgment, and express empathy while setting healthy boundaries. By embracing the Assertive, Caring, and Vulnerable roles, you can manage conflicts effectively and foster stronger, more balanced bonds.

Whether in personal or professional dynamics, the Winner's Triangle is an essential tool for creating a calmer, happier, and healthier life.

Key Takeaways:

• One simple change in communication can stop fights and build trust in relationships.
• Understanding the Winner’s Triangle helps to recognise negative patterns in conflicts.
• The Winner’s Triangle promotes assertiveness, vulnerability, and caring to improve relationships.
• Using 'I statements' is crucial for expressing feelings without blame or anger.
• Vulnerability is about sharing emotions honestly while seeking support, not playing the victim.
• Caring involves listening and supporting others without trying to fix their problems.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, we dive deep into the fascinating concept of the Drama Triangle—a powerful framework that sheds light on the destructive roles couples often fall into during conflict: namely the Victim, the Persecutor and the Rescuer.

Learn how these roles shape your interactions, fuel misunderstandings, and keep you stuck in cycles of blame and defensiveness. More importantly, learn practical strategies to step out of the Drama Triangle and embrace healthier, more empowering ways to approach disagreements.

Key Takeaways:

• The Drama Triangle consists of three roles: the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer, which can trap couples in toxic cycles.
• Recognising when you are in the Drama Triangle is the first step to breaking free from negative relationship dynamics.
• Each role in the Drama Triangle contributes to conflict, with the Persecutor blaming, the Victim avoiding responsibility, and the Rescuer enabling the cycle.
• To escape the Drama Triangle, one must shift their approach to conflict and actively choose healthier responses instead.
• Self-awareness is crucial; individuals should pay attention to their reactions during conflicts to identify their roles in the drama triangle.
• Empowering oneself involves setting boundaries, acknowledging personal responsibility, and practicing empathy towards partners during disagreements.

Links referenced in this episode:

For more information (and FREE resources) on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.

For Alastair's comprehensive anger management program, The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course.