In this webinar, CSAT therapist Jon Taylor offers a high-level overview of Attachment Theory, how it manifests as maturity in a relationship, and how it impacts sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Jon and Tami then answer questions about attachment theory's role in creating strong relationships.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:55] The role of attachment theory in addiction recovery. 

[1:58] The history and research of attachment theory. 

[7:02] Emotions and comfort are not a luxury, they are a necessity.

[8:20] Maturity in a relationship is not making one another responsible for your attachment deficits.

[9:35] Patterns in baseline attachment styles.

[13:20] Recent findings in attachment theory. 

[15:50] What does attachment theory teach about maturity in relationships? 

[19:20] How does attachment style apply to couples in recovery? 

[23:18] Contemplating real loss and forgiveness in recovery. 

[27:40] How can I navigate trauma in a way that doesn’t traumatize my children? 

[29:55] Attachment and personality grow out of temperament, but presentation can change over time. 

[35:04] Attachment explains everything, but it’s not the answer to everything.

[36:10] As a partner, how can I preserve our progress and disengage early in the negative cycle? 

[39:22] How can I overcome my attachment style to create a stronger marriage? 

[43:51] How long should an SA be in treatment before making a long term relationship decision? 

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [email protected]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. 

 

QUOTES

• “It’s one of the most annoying parts of therapy, but it really does all come back to mom and dad.” 

• “Part of attachment theory is understanding that emotions and comfort are not a luxury, they are a necessity.” 

• “Maturity in a relationship is not making one another responsible for your attachment deficits.”

• “Attachment theory is important but it does not totally dictate how we can and must show up in our relationships.” 

• “For maturity to take place, we have to learn how to control our impulses.” 

• “Attachment explains everything, but it’s not the answer to everything.”