Vicious cycles, listener questions

Most people try to fix a conflict with a difficult parent by defending themselves better, explaining themselves more clearly, or finally landing the point that wins the argument. Dr. Lisle says that approach guarantees failure. When two people are locked in what he calls a vicious cycle, the only move that actually reverses it is the one that feels most counterintuitive.

In this on-air clinical session, Olivia calls in about a deteriorating relationship with her disagreeable father, and Dr. Lisle walks her through the exact technique he has used in practice to reverse vicious cycles, a method he calls flood the circuit. He explains the evolutionary logic behind why arguments feel so weaponized, why close relationships tip into the worst cycles, the attribute anecdote structure, the sunflower test for narcissism, and how to hold your own ground without relighting the fire.

Key question covered: How do you stop getting pulled into arguments with a narcissistic parent and actually repair the relationship before you move out?

Beat Your Genes is co-hosted by evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Dr. Nathan Gershfeld, DC.

New episodes every other week.

YouTube: youtube.com/@BeatYourGenes

beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle: esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld: fastingescape.com

X: @BeatYourGenes

Intro and outro: City of Happy Ones. Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

A conversation with Dr. Lisle about flakes. We take a caller with a few excellent questions.

Listener questions, emails, and comments

How to feel good, how to succceed at life improvement

We will review how to assess your own personality characteristics by going over the BF-10/Ten Item PersonalityIndex survey. You can download it here: http://gosling.psy.utexas.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/tipi.pdf

49: Listener questions & comments

What's the point of psychotherapy?

We discuss free will, take a call from a behavioral therapist asking about the scientific validity of evolutionary psychology, and Dr. Lisle explains the flawed thinking of positive & negative reinforcement.

Episode 46: Listener emails & questions