Debbie McRae and Tami tackle ‘betrayal brain’, the intrusive thoughts, and emotional flooding that often accompany betrayal. When the brain is in survival mode, neurological and psychological effects are out of the betrayed partner’s control. They discuss tactics to regain control when the brain is hijacked. 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:26] When betrayal occurs, the architecture of the brain is reshaped. 

[4:50] Warning signs of betrayal brain. 

[5:46] Four areas of the brain are affected by betrayal. 

[10:45] Triggers can occur even when the relationship feels safe. 

[12:07] Regaining control when the brain is hijacked. 

[25:37] Self-compassion practices and therapy after betrayal. 

[27:30] The betrayed partner has no control over how the brain is going to react.

[31:41] Keeping regulation expectations simple.

[33:54] Does my PTSD and anxiety make it harder to overcome betrayal brain? 

[40:12] What boundaries can I enact with a sex addict who is breaking the law?

[46:17] Handling abandonment to create safety. 

[49:10] How can I increase my functionality to what it was before PTSD?

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [email protected]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. 

 

QUOTES

• “When betrayal occurs, it shatters trust in an instant.”

• “Even neutral interactions that the betrayed partner is experiencing can be triggering.” 

• “The betrayed partner has no control over how the brain is going to react when it senses threat.” 

• “Self care is brain care.”