Coaching for Leaders

By Dave StachowiakBusiness Careers Management

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Coaching for Leaders episodes

April 11, 2020 463: Leadership Through Massive Change, with Elizabeth Lilla
Elizabeth Lilla: Metro Stars Gymnastics
Elizabeth Lilla is the owner of Metro Stars Gymnastics. With her husband Erik, she has owned and operated gymnastics facilities for 13 years. She was named the Nebraska Occupational Therapy Association's Practitioner of the Year for developing the Special Stars Program at her facilities.
Liz has previously served as the USA Gymnastics Nebraska State Chair, and loves sharing the sport of gymnastics with boys and girls of all ages. She is also a member of the Coaching for Leaders Academy.
In this conversation, Liz shares the struggle of owning a small business that had to close its physical doors due to COVID-19. She tells the story of her business, the struggle in leading change in recent weeks, and their early success in pivoting to Metro Stars Online.
Key Points
Metro Stars Gymnastics has a long success story of serving kids and families for 13 years, until COVID-19 shut their doors.
Liz and Erik made the difficult decision to retain their full-time staff and pay salaries, despite having almost no revenue incoming.
Working to innovate quickly, Liz and their leadership team tested a new, online instruction format to help kids and families stay engaged during this difficult time.
Metro Stars Online has already connected with hundreds of customers and, more importantly, allowed kids to stay connected to the important work of physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Resources Mentioned
Metro Stars Online
Related Episodes
How to Be a Non-Conformist, with Adam Grant (episode 238)
How to Start Seeing Around Corners, with Rita McGrath (episode 430)
How to be Diplomatic, with Susan Rice (episode 456)
The Power of Why Over How, with Gina Bianchini (episode 460)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
39 min
April 06, 2020 462: How to Interview Better, with Bonni Stachowiak
Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.
Listener Questions
Toni asked about the best way to deal with people who don’t want to grow.
Russ wanted our opinion on the best way to interview potential new hires.
Sami wondering about the best way to utilize personality assessments.
Laura asked our opinion on taking a step back in compensation for a job position she really wants.
Resources Mentioned
StrengthsFinder training for individuals and teams* (use code CFL10 for a 10% tuition discount)
How the Best Bosses Interrupt Bias on Their Teams by Joan Williams and Sky Mihaylo
Related Episodes
How to Get the Ideal Team Player, with Patrick Lencioni (episode 301)
How to Challenge Directly and Care Personally, with Kim Scott (episode 302)
Get Smart About Assessments, with Ken Nowack (episode 371)
How to Motivate Leaders, with John Maxwell (episode 452)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
35 min
March 30, 2020 461: The Power of Showing Up, with Tina Payne Bryson
Tina Payne Bryson: The Power of Showing Up
Tina Payne Bryson is a psychotherapist and the Founder/Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice, and of The Play Strong Institute, a center devoted to the study, research, and practice of play therapy through a neurodevelopment lens.
Tina is the author with Dan Siegel of two New York Times bestsellers, The Whole-Brain Child* and No Drama Discipline*, each of which has been translated into over forty languages. She’s recently released with Dan their newest book, The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired*.
In this conversation, Tina and I explore what it means to show up for kids and why it’s more than just being physically present. We discuss the distinction between being seen vs. being shamed. Plus, practical actions that parents, family members, and other caregivers can take to empower children.
Key Points
Our research and experience suggest that raising happy, healthy, flourishing kids requires parents to do just one key thing. It’s not about reading all the parenting best sellers or signing your kids up for all the right activities. You don’t even have to know exactly what you’re doing. Just show up.
Intensive parenting is problematic not only because of the pressure it puts on parents, but because some research suggests that all this exhausting parental striving may not be the best way to raise children.
Showing up is more than just being physically present.
Many people don’t have the advantage of relationships. They grew up in families where almost all of the attention was focused on external and surface-level experiences.
Let your curiosity lead you to take a deeper dive and make space and time to look and learn.
A child’s brain is changing and changeable.
Resources Mentioned
The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired* by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Tina Payne Bryson
The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction* by Christine Carter
Wildhood: The Astounding Connections between Human and Animal Adolescents* by Barbara Natterson-Horowitz and Kathryn Bowers
Related Episodes
How to Reduce Drama With Kids, with Tina Payne Bryson (episode 310)
Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal (episode 431)
Family Productivity, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 453)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
39 min
March 27, 2020 Key Mindsets in Crisis, with Bonni Stachowiak (Leading Through Crisis: Lesson 2)
Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.
Key Points
Useful these leadership mindsets in crisis:

Your have permission to be more directive than normal — and be sure to make space for listening.
Acknowledge where people are right now, even it might not calibrate with where you “think” they might be.
Embrace a bit of the humor that comes from all of this.
Create useful structures for both your family and you.
The spontaneous interactions won’t happen as easily. Be intentional about creating the kinds of human interactions that are important right now.
Establish the boundaries you need to care for yourself.

Resources Mentioned

Transitions* by William Bridges
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living* by Dale Carnegie
Social Intelligence* by Daniel Goleman
A Thousand Miles

Related Episodes

How to Engage With Humor, with David Nihill (episode 245)
The Way to Have Conversations That Matter, with Celeste Headlee (episode 344)
Getting Better at Empathy, with Daniel Goleman (episode 391)
How to Reclaim Conversation, with Cal Newport (episode 400)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
36 min
March 23, 2020 460: The Power of Why Over How, with Gina Bianchini
Gina Bianchini: Mighty Networks
Gina Bianchini is the Founder & CEO of Mighty Networks*. She is an expert on network effects. Mighty Networks is a pivot from the enterprise-only platform Mightybell, which powered communities for Intuit, American Express, and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
Mighty Networks has unlocked the opportunity to elevate the rapidly growing world of creators with a purpose. Gina and Mighty Networks have been featured in Fast Company, Wired, Vanity Fair, Bloomberg, and The New York Times.
In this conversation, Gina and I discussed the importance of a big, specific mission for an organization. In addition, the necessity to stay dedicated to that mission, especially during difficult times. Plus, she remindes us of the value in bringing all stakeholders along with that mission.
Key Points
We are a master class in having a mission and deciding it is important no matter what is happening elsewhere.
Mission and Purpose
Mission and purpose need to be big — and be specific.
Make a clear distinction between “why” and “how.”
Engage all stakeholders with the mission, including customers, contractors, and vendors.
Resources Mentioned
Mighty Networks*
Related Episodes
Start With Why, with Simon Sinek (episode 223)
How to Create a Vivid Vision, with Cameron Herold (episode 345)
How to Clarify What’s Important, with Ron Williams (episode 410)
Seven Tools to Create Margin and a New Podcast (episode 411)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
36 min
March 16, 2020 Why We’re Doing This (Leading Through Crisis: Lesson 1)
COVID-19 isn't what we wanted, but it's what we've got. There's good work to be done. Start today with your why, or borrow mine.
Related Episode

Start With Why, with Simon Sinek (episode 223)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
14 min
March 16, 2020 459: Discover Who You Are, with Hortense le Gentil
Hortense le Gentil: Aligned
Hortense is an Executive Leadership Coach and the President and Founder of JAY Consulting. She works with C-suite executives from Fortune 500 companies, supporting them in their development and leadership by working with them on the alignment between their personal values and their professional activities.
Hortense is part of the Marshall Goldsmith’s prestigious 100 Coaches Project. She has been selected to receive a Thinkers 50 coaching award for excellence in her field. She is the author of several articles about leadership and coaching in such publications as Leader to Leader.
She is the author of the book Aligned: Connecting Your True Self with the Leader You’re Meant to Be*.
Key Points
We are often blind to these invisible lines running throughout our lives.
Reflecting on the role models others have admired in their lives can provide insight on what they value.
Fictional characters, colors, animals, tress, and even countries can also provide insight into values.
Wisdom from Peter Drucker: “Tell me what you value, and I might believe you. But show me the twists and turns of your life and I’ll show you what you really value.”
Resources Mentioned
Aligned: Connecting Your True Self with the Leader You’re Meant to Be* by Hortense le Gentil
Book Notes
Download my highlights from Aligned in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Enhance Your Self-Awareness, with Daniel Goleman (episode 353)
Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)
What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)
The Way to Be More Self-Aware, with Tasha Eurich (episode 442)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
35 min
March 10, 2020 Making the Most of Mentoring (5 of 5)
Lesson 5: How to Learn With People Beside You
Peer accountability lays the groundwork for self-accountability.

In the book Difficult Conversations*, this legend is retold:
After observing O Sensei, the founder of Aikido, sparring with an accomplished fighter, a young student said to the master, “You never lose your balance. What is your secret?” “You are wrong,” O Sensei replied. “I am constantly losing my balance. My skill lies in my ability to regain it.”
Just get started when learning with people beside you. If you do, you’ll discover a lot — even if you occasionally move in the wrong direction.
Academy Applications Close Friday, March 13th
The Academy is a year-long cohort of participant leaders who work personally with me to create movement in their leadership development and organizational results. Discover more and submit your application by Friday, March 13th.
Resources

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most* by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
Scott Barlow of Happen to Your Career

Related Episodes

How to Figure Out Your Career, with Scott Anthony Barlow (episode 259)
How to Make Your Work More Visible, with John Stepper (episode 397)
If You Can, Move Your Feet (Dave’s Journal)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
14 min
March 09, 2020 Making the Most of Mentoring (4 of 5)
Lesson 4: How to Support People Behind You
When we have more power, we tend to have less empathy. Guard against this by viewing supporting others as a privilege.

Past guest Rita McGrath reminds us that:
Snow melts from the edges. The most effective leaders can and will see this if they are present at the edges.
When supporting people behind you:

Begin with a short conversation — help in the moment, if you can.
Invite them to take the first step. Avoid doing the work for them.
Start small with a single topic or behavior change.
Spend as much time listening and asking questions as you do talking.
Ask them to take action before the next conversation.

Academy Applications Close Friday, March 13th
The Academy is a year-long cohort of participant leaders who work personally with me to create movement in their leadership development and organizational results. Discover more and submit your application by Friday, March 13th.
Resources

The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence* by Dacher Keltner
Powerful Teaching: Unleash the Science of Learning* by Pooja Agarwal and Patrice Bain

Related Episodes

Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254)
Six Tactics for Extraordinary Performance, with Morten Hansen (episode 337)
What You Gain By Sponsoring People, with Julia Taylor Kennedy (episode 398)
Help People Learn Through Powerful Teaching, with Pooja Agarwal (episode 421)
Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
14 min
March 09, 2020 458: The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier
Michael Bungay Stanier: The Advice Trap
Michael Bungay Stanier is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential leadership competency. His book The Coaching Habit* is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over 700,000 copies sold and 1,000+ five-star reviews on Amazon.
He’s the author of the new book The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever*.
In this conversation, Michael and I discuss why advice is overrated and often displays poor leadership. Michael shows us how to avoid coaching ghosts and dealing with people who can’t stop talking. Plus, we explore how to keep people engaged in the conversation, become more coach-like, and qualify advice when the time is right to give it.
Key Points
Advice is overrated. Not advice itself. There’s a time and a place for good advice. The problem is the default habit of giving advice. -Michael Bungay Stanier
The Advice Trap: The more I give them advice, the more they want my advice.
Three reasons your advice doesn’t get results:
You’re solving the wrong challenge.
You’re proposing a mediocre solution.
You’re displaying poor leadership.
Avoid coaching the ghost (the person note present) and yarning (excessive conversation that isn’t leading anywhere productive).
To keep people engaged in the conversation, use the TERA principles:
Tribe: Be on their side.
Expectation: Show them the future.
Rank: Raise them up.
Autonomy: Give them the choice.
When you do give advice, consider diminishing it with:
“Here’s my best guess…”
“I may be wrong…”
“This is just one idea/option/thought…”
Resources Mentioned
The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever* by Michael Bungay Stanier
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever* by Michael Bungay Stanier
MBS.works
Book Notes
Download my highlights from The Advice Trap in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 284)
How to Stop Having the Same Problems, with Corrinne Armour (episode 387)
Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)
How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
40 min

About Coaching for Leaders

From the publisher's feed

Leaders aren’t born; they’re made. Many leaders reach points in their careers where what worked yesterday doesn’t work today. This Monday show helps leaders thrive at these key inflection points.…