Coaching for Leaders

Simon Sinek: The Infinite Game

Simon Sinek is an unshakable optimist. He is best known for popularizing the concept of WHY, which he described in his first TED Talk in 2009. That talk went on to become the second most watched TED Talk of all time, today surpassing 50 million views.

His interview on millennials in the workplace propelled his name to be the fifth most searched term on YouTube in 2017. Simon is the author of five bestselling books, including Start With Why*, Leaders Eat Last*, and his newest book, The Infinite Game*.

In this conversation, Simon and I discuss why he doesn’t believe these are unprecedented times, the difference between a finite and infinite game, and the distinction between a why and a just cause. We also detail how to uncover a just cause and five standards that an effective just cause must meet.

Key Points

Our products and services are some of the things we use to advance our cause. They are not themselves the cause. -Simon Sinek

A just cause embraces five standards:

For something: affirmative and optimistic.

Inclusive: open to all those who would like to contribute

Service-oriented: for the primary benefit of others

Resilient: able to endure political, technological and cultural change

Idealistic: big, bold and ultimately unachievable

In the infinite game, the only real competitor is yourself. -Simon Sinek

Resources Mentioned

The Infinite Game* by Simon Sinek

Live Online Classes by Simon Sinek

Book Notes

Download my highlights from The Infinite Game in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Start With Why, with Simon Sinek (episode 223)

How to Create a Vivid Vision, with Cameron Herold (episode 345)

Tie Leadership Development to Business Results, with Mark Allen (episode 435)

Leadership Through Massive Change, with Elizabeth Lilla (episode 463)

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Key Points

Be apparent about the purpose of your meeting: connect, align, decide, ideate/brainstorm, plan, or produce. Discover more from Mamie Kanfer Stewart.

You need to be more apparent and intentional about timing, transitions, and facilitation in an online meeting than with an in-person one.

Use a service like BombBomb* for video messages that don’t require live interaction.

Unless background noise or size of the meeting prevents it, invite people to “unmute” so you can have richer dialogue without interruption.

Alert people if they have audio issues. Get headsets for your team, if possible. We use and recommend the Jabra Evolve line* of USB headsets.

Number one rule for lighting: position light in front of you and not behind you. If the front light can be natural (i.e. facing a window) even better.

Resources Mentioned

BombBomb* (free 14-day trial)

How to Combat Zoom Fatigue by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

COVID-19 and Videoclassism by Taharee Jackson

Related Episodes

How to Lead Meetings That Get Results, with Mamie Kanfer Stewart (episode 358)

Seven Tools to Create Margin and a New Podcast (episode 411)

The Power of Why Over How, with Gina Bianchini (episode 460)

Connecting Over Video (The Look & Sound of Leadership)

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Lois Frankel: Nice Girls Don’t Speak Up or Stand Out

Lois Frankel is the President of Corporate Coaching International, and is a bestselling author, executive coach, and an internationally-recognized expert in the field of leadership development for women. She has appeared on Larry King Live, The Tavis Smiley Show, The Today Show, and many other places to discuss her New York Times bestselling books, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office*, Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich*, and Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It*.

She has served diverse clients such as The Walt Disney Company, Amgen, The World Bank, McKinsey & Company, Inc., Northrop Grumman, and many others. Her newest audiobook just released is titled Nice Girls Don’t Speak Up or Stand Out: How to Make Your Voice Heard, Your Point Known, and Your Presence Felt*.

In this conversation, Lois and I discuss why saying no is so important, key tactics in doing it with professionalism and grace, and some useful language we can leverage. We also explore why we end up saying yes to work that others don’t really care that much about and how we can be our own worst enemy on saying yes.

Key Points

In response to an invitation:

As much as I would love to attend, my calendar is already over-scheduled for that week.

In response to a statement that may have some truth to it but that won’t change your position:

Be that as it may, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not able to provide you with a loan at this time.

In response to someone asking you to do something that actually benefits them more than you:

Thank you for thinking of me. Unfortunately, I am not able to take advantage of your kind offer.

In response to someone you care about and to whom who you genuinely wish you could say yes:

If I could I would. I really value our relationships and wish the situation was different.

In response to someone asking for yet another favor:

Although I’ve been able to help you out in the past, this time I just don’t have the bandwidth.

In response to a somewhat unreasonable request:

I’m sure you understand that I receive many similar requests and that I’m just not able to be of help at this time.

In response to someone who uses flattery to get you to accept their request:

I’m flattered and at the same time I’m not able to accept your gracious offer.

When you are genuinely sorry that you must decline:

I’m so sorry that this isn’t going to work out. I hope it might in the future.

Resources Mentioned

Nice Girls Don't Speak Up or Stand Out: How to Make Your Voice Heard, Your Point Known, and Your Presence Felt* by Lois Frankel

Related Episodes

Unconscious Mistakes Women Make, with Lois Frankel (episode 386)

Why Men Are Heard and Women Are Liked, with Lois Frankel and Tom Henschel (episode 392)

How to Negotiate When Others Have Power, with Kwame Christian (episode 416)

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Alex Osterwalder: The Invincible Company

Alex is obsessed with making strategy, innovation, and entrepreneurship simple, practical, and applicable. He invented the Business Model Canvas, co-founded Strategyzer.com, and lead authored Business Model Generation which sold a million copies in 30 languages. He’s one of the top-ranked management thinkers in the world by Thinkers50.

He is the author of the book, The Invincible Company: How to Constantly Reinvent Your Organization with Inspiration From the World's Best Business Models*.

In this conversation, Alex and I explore the distinction between exploration and exploitation that invincible organizations must hold in tandem. Alex teaches us the five most common myths of the innovation journey and what leaders can do to compete and stay relevant in a changing world.

Key Points

Myths of the innovation journey:

Myth 1: The most important part of the innovation and entrepreneurship journey is to find and execute the perfect idea.

Myth 2: The evidence will show you a clear path forward why you systematically test ideas. The solution will magically emerge if you just test and adapt your idea often enough.

Myth 3: A small number of big bets will lead to a large return.

Myth 4: The skills required to explore a new business and to manage an existing one are pretty similar. Business is business.

Myth 5: Innovation teams are renegades or pirates that are out to disrupt the old business. They need to operate in stealth mode to survive inside a company.

Invincible Companies constantly reinvent who they are and where and how they compete in order to stay relevant and ahead.

Resources Mentioned

The Invincible Company: How to Constantly Reinvent Your Organization with Inspiration From the World's Best Business Models* by Alex Osterwalder

Innovation Project Scorecard: Evidence Trumps Opinion

Related Episodes

How to Transform Your Limitations Into Advantages, with Mark Barden (episode 207)

The Way to Nurture New Ideas, with Safi Bahcall (episode 418)

How to Start Seeing Around Corners, with Rita McGrath (episode 430)

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Greg McKeown: Essentialism

Greg McKeown is the author of the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less*. His book is frequently listed as #1 Time Management book on Amazon and challenges the core assumptions about achievement to get to the essence of what really drives success.

His writing has appeared in or been covered by The New York Times, Fast Company, Fortune, HuffPost, and many others. He is among the most popular bloggers for the Harvard Business Review and LinkedIn’s Influencers group: averaging a million views a month.

In this conversation, Greg and I discuss why success can be such a poor teacher and how to avoid what Jim Collins calls, “The undisciplined pursuit of more.” We explore how the principles of journalism can help us arrive at what’s essential and why journaling may be the place to start.

Key Points

Being a journalist of your own life will force you to stop hyper-focusing on all the minor details and see the bigger picture.

Success is a poor teacher and may lead to the undisciplined pursuit of more.

Essentialists listen for what is not being explicitly stated. They read between the lines.

Nonessentialists hear what is loud. Essentialists listen for the signal in the noise.

Journaling is a useful practice to begin reviewing what is coming up in your life and discovering the leads you may be missing.

Make time every 90 days to review and determine what’s next.

Resources Mentioned

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less* by Greg McKeown

Essentialism podcast

Simple Productivity: How to Accomplish More With Less with Greg McKeown

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Essentialism in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Getting Things Done, with David Allen (episode 184)

How to Make Deep Work Happen, with Cal Newport (episode 233)

Six Tactics for Extraordinary Performance, with Morten Hansen (episode 337)

Finding Joy Through Intentional Choices, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 417)

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide.

Listener Questions

Matt wondered when it’s appropriate to show emotion during a difficult time.

Selah asked our advice about communication strategies through COVID-19.

Amber wanted to know what she could do to support a manager who is causing stress for others during the pandemic.

Resources Mentioned

Netflix Special: The Call to Courage with Brené Brown

Hope for the Flowers* by Trina Paulus

Related Episodes

Start With Why, with Simon Sinek (episode 223)

What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)

How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Virtually, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464)

How to Lead a Virtual Team, with Susan Gerke (episode 465)

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Andrew Carroll: CFOAndrew

Andrew is a CPA and consultant at CFOAndrew who advises leaders and businesses on financial questions and change. He supports organizations in navigating taxes, investments, insurance, business strategy, operations, mergers and acquisitions, and accounting.

Key Points

Know the difference between deferred demand and lost demand and consider that in your strategy going forward.

Leverage is meant to protect a business, not save it.

Hedging is the most important thing you can do with your money.

Business owners and leaders should consider unemployment programs and, in The United States, Emergency Sick Pay, Economic Injury Disaster Loan Emergency Advance, and the Paycheck Protection Program.

Use the formula P=40 to 70, in which P stands for the probability of success and the numbers indicate the percentage of information acquired. Once the information is in the 40 to 70 range, go with your gut. -Colin Powell

Resources Mentioned

CFOAndrew

Related Episodes

Improve Your Financial Intelligence, with Joe Knight (episode 244)

How to Approach Corporate Budgeting, with Jody Wodrich (episode 355)

Four Rules to Get Control of Your Money, with Jesse Mecham (episode 356)

Dumb Things Smart People Do With Money, with Jill Schlesinger (episode 396)

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Scott Anthony Barlow: Happen to Your Career

Scott Anthony Barlow is the founder of Happen to Your Career. He’s been featured on CNBC, Yahoo, CareerBuilder, Fast Company, and Huffington Post and various colleges and universities as a top expert on career happiness. He's held executive roles in human resources, business development, and career coaching.

Scott is the host of the Happen to Your Career podcast, featuring the career stories of many successful professionals. He and his team have worked with over 25,000 people to help them stop settling, find their signature strengths, and start doing meaningful work they are enamored with.

Key Points

High performers leave organizations because:

Work is no longer meaningful. They’ve accomplished their goals and now they’re looking for much more meaningful work, projects and challenges.

Flexibility and autonomy are missing. The “when” and “how” people work is becoming incredibly important.

They have outgrown the role. They perceive that just because they’ve outgrown the role that there is no where else to go in the organization.

What leaders can do:

Help candidates find what’s meaningful for them.

Create opportunities to work when and how they want.

Help people create their own role.

Resources Mentioned

Finding the Career That Fits You (Scott’s FREE 8-Day Video Course)

The Ultimate Guide to Using Your Strengths to Get Hired

Related Episodes

How to Figure Out Your Career, with Scott Anthony Barlow (episode 259)

Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)

Effective Delegation of Authority, with Hassan Osman (episode 413)

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Susan Gerke: GO Team

Susan Gerke has been the president of Gerke Consulting & Development. She has worked with global teams and has certified facilitators around the world to deliver management, leadership, and team offerings. Susan is co-creator of GO Team, a training suite for organizations to power team performance.

Key Points

Out of sight sometimes means out of mind. Perception of communication will be less than you think.

Interactions over the phone/video feel more formal than they do in person, at least at the start.

You don’t find out about things virtually as quickly as you do face to face.

Figure out how to make space for different kinds of styles and personalities. A virtual environment tends to amplify these differences.

Remember to have expectation setting conversations with family members.

Some people will call you every day and some people won’t ever reach out proactively. That’s normal — find a pattern that works for each relationship.

Resources Mentioned

GO Team

Survey results: community input on leading/working virtually

Related Episodes

The Four Unique Types of Teams, with Susan Gerke (episode 138)

How to Create Team Guidelines, with Susan Gerke (episode 192)

How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Virtually, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464)

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Jonathan Raymond: Good Authority

Jonathan Raymond is the founder of Refound, where he and his team work with organizations to create a company culture based in personal growth. He’s the author of the book Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For*.

Jonathan’s team recently released The Good Accountability course* to help leaders have great feedback conversations with their teams. If you are working to get better at accountability, it’s the most useful framework I know of to balance care for people and accountability for results.

In this conversation, Jonathan and I discuss the Accountability Dial, how it’s most useful when leading virtually, and the importance of taking the first step.

Key Points

You don’t get to look good and grow at the same time.

Assume positive intent, regardless of where you are on the accountability dial.

The Accountability Dial:

The Mention: In real-time (if possible), pull them aside to offer an observation about an undesired behavior.

The Invitation: Provide 2-3 examples of how that behavior is a pattern or theme they can work on.

The Conversation: Use your weekly one-on-ones to dive into how the pattern is holding them back.

The Boundary: Collaborate together to decide next steps and set a timeline for making a change.

The Limit: Before giving up, have one more heart-to-heart to give them a final chance for meaningful change.

Resources Mentioned

The Good Accountability course*

Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For* by Jonathan Raymond

Refound (Jonathan’s firm)

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Good Authority in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 306)

Effective Delegation of Authority, with Hassan Osman (episode 413)

How to Start Managing Up, with Tom Henschel (episode 433)

The Way to Be More Self-Aware, with Tasha Eurich (episode 442)

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