Coaching for Leaders

What do you do when you're the target of criticism? Here are the two kinds of critics that show up at work in the workplace and also how to address them.

It all comes back to Mathnet

Two kinds of critics

The bully

The champion

Why you need your critics

Hawthorne studies (Harvard article) (Economist article)

Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program (episode #79) with Michelle Smith of O.C. Tanner

“Our chief want in life is someone who will make us do what we can.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Actions you can take

Listen and be calm (useful for both the bully and the champion)

Our urge is to become defensive

It may put up barriers to hearing something of value

If the criticism is unwarranted, you’re the one keeping your cool (unless the other party is factually wrong in a public forum)

If the other party is factually wrong in public, make your case confidently and professionally

Set aside the tone or personal attack (useful for both the bully and the champion)

Is there value in what the person is saying, beyond the tone?

Ask a more independent party to analyze it for you.

Ask for feedback and criticism (useful with the champion)

“Be your own toughest critic. Demand excellent performance from yourself and your leadership will thrive in the face of adversity.” -Doug Conant

This worked for me in my first full-time job

Take advice of Tom Henschel for episode #107

Ask often

Say thank you or can you help me understand

Do something with it or don’t

Embrace the criticism and make change (useful for both the bully and the champion)

Realize that a lot of people use criticism as a primary tool for development

Take one suggestion this week to actually put into action

Love your enemy (useful with the bully, and sometimes the champion)

Find something about them you can love

Feel sorry for them

Be glad you're not married to them

What if your boss is the bully?

Try one or more things above that you think might help

Are you getting more than you're giving?

If not, work towards another opportunity

Don't throw them under the bus on the way out the door

To Those Who Want Great Careers: Don’t Do What This Guy Did

Other episodes that might help

Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program (episode #79)

Ten Ways To Pick Yourself Up When You’re Beaten Down (episode #85)

Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback (episode #107)

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." -William Shakespeare

Feedback

On this topic: http://coachingforleaders.com/130

Comments, questions, or feedback for the show: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback or (949) 38-LEARN

Thank you to Jackson Tye, Aja Wood, Luis Barberis, Mimi Francisco, Brendan Chestnutt, Stephen Arters, Diana Igel, John Bellingham, Cathie McCoy, Mireia Subirana, Bob Wallner, and Athena Leung.

A special thank you this week to Alex Azor, for the very kind written review you left on iTunes. If this show has been valuable to you as well, please leave a written review on iTunes or Stitcher by visiting http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes or http://coachingforleaders.com/stitcher

What advice would you give for handling a critic?

“Knowledge management is a set of processes, individually constructed, to help each of us make sense of our world and work more effectively.” -Harold Jarche

Capture

Capturing through the stream

Twitter

Some social media

Live TV

Live radio

Capturing through subscriptions

Email updates and newsletters

Podcasts

RSS via services like Feedly.com

Curate

Bonni uses Delicious (link to her library)

Dave uses Pinboard (link to his library)

Evernote

Pocket

Kindle App

Snippefy app (useful to export notes and highlights from Kindle)

Diigo

Create

Social media postings

Conversation starters

Classroom/meeting starters

Writing

Bonni's blog is TeachingInHigherEd.com

How would you like to get info from Dave?

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

On this show, you'll discover how to utilize knowledge management to collect, curate, and create in order to manage the information coming our way. Bonni joins Dave again to discuss these three important components of any knowledge management system.

“Knowledge management is a set of processes, individually constructed, to help each of us make sense of our world and work more effectively.” -Harold Jarche

Capture

Capturing through the stream

Twitter

Some social media

Live TV

Live radio

Capturing through subscriptions

Email updates and newsletters

Podcasts

RSS via services like Feedly.com

Curate

Bonni uses Delicious (link to her library)

Dave uses Pinboard (link to his library)

Evernote

Pocket

Kindle App

Snippefy app (useful to export notes and highlights from Kindle)

Diigo

Create

Social media postings

Conversation starters

Classroom/meeting starters

Writing

Bonni's blog is TeachingInHigherEd.com

How would you like to get info from Dave?

Feedback

On this topic

http://coachingforleaders.com/129

Comments, questions, or feedback

http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

(949) 38-LEARN

App.net broadcast now available at this link for immediate alerts when the show airs

No, the sun does not revolve around the Earth

Thank you to Sarah Snowden, Jeremy Sneller, Gurenda Bilbao, Seetharaman Kishor, Demetria Henry, Carl Pattie, Set, Doug Fitz-Gerald, Ken Sharrar, Kimberly Dye, Zlav Enour, Matthew Morzy, Jo Lanza, Arfan Sharif, Daniel Warren-Smith, Hope Montanez, Martin Knoble, Ralph Sheridan, Clayton Hunter, Jade Ballek, Angel Romero, Lee Chan, David Kong, Alexandra Massia, Michael Hill, and Chaise Holmgren, who subscribed to my weekly update this past week.

What’s one action you will take to improve your personal knowledge management?

If you do these four things with consistency at the meetings you lead, you’ll get vastly better results from the investment you are making in meeting time.

Worst offenses

Trying to come up with a topic to talk about

Let's share what's going on (without any context for how/why)

Information sharing only

No agenda

Too many agenda items

People on devices

Too many meetings total

Good news! Many of us have almost complete control over how we run meetings as leaders

1. Determine if the meeting needs to be held at all

Is it for brainstorming, training that needs to be done in person, or making a decision? Yes, have the meeting.

Is it for sharing of information? No, find a better way to get the information to people.

Consider the real cost of staff time

2. Have written or understood guidelines on communication, technology, decision-making, and overall culture of your meetings

What do we do when we get off task?

How will we capture what is decided and/or next actions?

What rules will we have around the use of technology during meetings?

Is PowerPoint needed?

3. Set and send agenda in advance with the topic for discussion and end goal of the meeting, along with start and end times

If the meeting discussion drifts, call attention to it and decide on addressing or tabling

Begin and end on time (considering starting a bit after the hour or ending a bit early)

4. Have everyone walk out of the room with clear action items

Follow-up with documentation shortly thereafter

Meeting notes - mindmapping (starting point) and outlining (finishing point). I use MindNode and OmniOutliner, respectively.

What’s a best practice you’ve discovered for leading effective meetings?

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

If you do these four things with consistency at the meetings you lead, you’ll get vastly better results from the investment you are making in meeting time.

Worst offenses

Trying to come up with a topic to talk about

Let's share what's going on (without any context for how/why)

Information sharing only

No agenda

Too many agenda items

People on devices

Too many meetings total

Good news! Many of us have almost complete control over how we run meetings as leaders

1. Determine if the meeting needs to be held at all

Is it for brainstorming, training that needs to be done in person, or making a decision? Yes, have the meeting.

Is it for sharing of information? No, find a better way to get the information to people.

Consider the real cost of staff time

2. Have written or understood guidelines on communication, technology, decision-making, and overall culture of your meetings

What do we do when we get off task?

How will we capture what is decided and/or next actions?

What rules will we have around the use of technology during meetings?

Is PowerPoint needed?

3. Set and send agenda in advance with the topic for discussion and end goal of the meeting, along with start and end times

If the meeting discussion drifts, call attention to it and decide on addressing or tabling

Begin and end on time (considering starting a bit after the hour or ending a bit early)

4. Have everyone walk out of the room with clear action items

Follow-up with documentation shortly thereafter

Meeting notes - mindmapping (starting point) and outlining (finishing point). I use MindNode and OmniOutliner, respectively.

What’s a best practice you’ve discovered for leading effective meetings?

Feedback on this topic:

http://coachingforleaders.com/128

Comments, questions, or feedback for the show:

http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

(949) 38-LEARN

Thank you to Kimberly Dye, John Orlando, Chad McCallum, Daniela Abela, Jonathan Kemp, Carol Martino, Anurag Mishra, John Kramp, and Andrew Teo for subscribing to my weekly update this past week.

If this show has been valuable to you as well, please leave a written review on iTunes or Stitcher by visiting http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes or http://coachingforleaders.com/stitcher

Have you considered telling the people you lead about the mistakes you’ve made? On this episode, why you lead better when you share your mistakes.

“Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.” -Dale Carnegie

Here are the benefits to talking about your mistakes with others:

You get people’s attention.

You open the door for people to be more willing to accept coaching.

You give people a realistic path of what it looks like to learn how to lead.

It reminds you what it was like to learn that skill in the first place.

It keeps you humble.

Two words of caution:

Make sure you share real mistakes you’ve made.

Sadly, not every organization values this kind of transparency. Be smart about the politics where you are.

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Have you considered telling the people you lead about the mistakes you’ve made? On this show, why you lead better when you share your mistakes.

“Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.” -Dale Carnegie

Here are the benefits to talking about your mistakes with others:

You get people’s attention.

You open the door for people to be more willing to accept coaching.

You give people a realistic path of what it looks like to learn how to lead.

It reminds you what it was like to learn that skill in the first place.

It keeps you humble.

Two words of caution:

Make sure you share real mistakes you’ve made.

Sadly, not every organization values this kind of transparency. Be smart about the politics where you are.

Community Feedback

CoachingforLeaders.com/feedback

USA: (949) 38-LEARN

Thank you to Laz Allen, Elaine Vega, Jay Austin, Miguel Oliveira, Francisco Lopez, Laurie Marshall, Sudhakar Vundavalli, Colin McAllisterm Shari Silverman, Helena Engblom, Oliver Lamborelle, Darren Campbell, Billy Baker, Eva Hurt, Shawn Axsom, Josee Pelletier, Sam Fischer, Andres Benavides, Elie Saade, Josephine Ramirez, Pedro Sifontes, Tricia Whiteley, Alisa Farmer, Jennifer Flower, beth Schill, Daniel Morales, and Mabo Steinert who’ve subscribed to my weekly update this past week.

What’s a past mistake you could talk about that would be helpful to those you lead?

Here's some advice that many of us have heard when we starting giving presentations or speeches for the first time:

“Tell ’em what you’re going to tell ’em, tell ’em, tell ’em what you told ’em.”

That’s lousy advice. Here's how to do better.

Four great and interesting speeches, with varying levels of importance:

Honoring the dead - The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln

Civil rights - I Have A Dream by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

A successful product launch - The iPhone Announcement by Steve Jobs

Human personality - The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain

Three commonalities that these four very different "pitches" share. They all:

Tell a story of the problem

Articulate a vision

Inspire action

Resources you may wish to investigate:

The Quick and Easy Way To Effective Speaking* by Dale Carnegie

Resonate: Present Visual Stories That Transform Audiences* by Nancy Duarte

SPIN Selling* by Neil Rackham

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

You’ve probably heard that time-honored advice when giving a speech. Tell ’em what you’re going to tell them, tell ’em, tell ’em what you told them. On today’s show, what that’s lousy advice and how you can do better.

Here's some advice that many of us have heard when we starting giving presentations or speeches for the first time:

“Tell ’em what you’re going to tell ’em, tell ’em, tell ’em what you told ’em.”

Four great and interesting speeches, with varying levels of importance:

Honoring the dead - The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln

Civil rights - I Have A Dream by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

A successful product launch - The iPhone Announcement by Steve Jobs

Human personality - The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain

Three commonalities that these four very different "pitches" share. They all:

Tell a story of the problem

Articulate a vision

Inspire action

Resources you may wish to investigate:

The Quick and Easy Way To Effective Speaking* by Dale Carnegie

Resonate: Present Visual Stories That Transform Audiences* by Nancy Duarte

SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham [affiliate]

Community Feedback

CoachingforLeaders.com/feedback

USA: (949) 38-LEARN

I respond to a question from Duke about how to set expectations with a larger team.

Thank you to Brett Hennie, Bob King, Mohana H, Cliff Lynch, Huzefa Jamali, Tom O’Toole, Daniel Smith, Ales Lizr, Ben Hammond, Rob Flaherty, Les Karpluk, Jodi Rifkin, Julie Weinberg, Pablo Espinar, and Jose Marchand who’ve subscribed to my weekly update this past week.

A special thank you to DebB and Jon Watts for your very kind written reviews on iTunes. If this show has been valuable to you as well, please leave a written review on iTunes or Stitcher by visiting coachingforleaders.com/itunes or coachingforleaders.com/stitcher

What have you seen a presenter do that motivated you to take action?

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

1. Question about leading during a school closing from Jermaine

We recommended episode #55 with Carol Taylor on How To Lead In A Crisis.

2. Question about giving feedback from Sue

3. Question about prioritizing emails and voice mail from Matt

Dave's task management system: OmniFocus

Bonni's task management system: Remember The Milk

VIP contacts and flagging on iOS7 for the iPhone and iPad: How To See Important Messages in iOS7 Mail from The Mac Observer

Mailbox for iPhone

Sanebox.com

We recommended episode #109 on Seven Online Tools That Will Help You Do Your Best Work.

We recommended episode #119 with David Sparks on How To Get Control Of Your Email.

4. Question about small tasks and large tasks from Catherine

5. Question about hiring the right person for a non-profit

Check on episodes #89 and #90, both on StrengthsFinder with Steve Dosier

What’s one new practice you’ll start with your time management this week?

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.