Connection Codes

By Connection CodesEducation Self-Improvement

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Typical duration
52 min
per episode

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Connection Codes episodes

November 05, 2024Why Changing Beliefs Feels Hard (But Can Be Worth It)(138)
Tera welcomes the co-creator of Connection Codes, Echo Hill Vetter. She’s a trauma informed coach as well as a parenting and lead coach. Today they’re discussing the power of beliefs and how they shape our identities, often keeping us in what Echo calls a "tiny little box." As they talk about the emotional weight of Election Day, they explore why differing perspectives can feel threatening and how fear plays a central role in our reactions. Tera and Echo discuss the impact of generational experiences and challenge you to approach differing beliefs with curiosity rather than judgment. Tera shares her own journey toward openness, encouraging you to stay connected to yourself and others, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach
Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:
Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: https://substack.com/@echohillvetter
Echo on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter
Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: https://calendly.com/echohillvetter
Echo’s LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter
Chapters:
00:00:00 - Election Day Reflections and Emotional Intensity

00:01:58 - Exploring How Beliefs Shape Identity

00:03:22 - The Role of Fear in Feeling Safe

00:04:43 - When Beliefs No Longer Fit

00:08:19 - Echo’s Personal Journey with Shifting Beliefs

00:10:13 - Finding Connection through Curiosity

00:14:58 - Using Emotional Awareness to Bridge Differences

00:20:33 - Discovering Common Ground Through Shared Fears

00:27:15 - Core Emotion Wheel: A Tool for Connection

00:30:47 - Final Reflections on Staying Connected
33 min
October 29, 2024Sex, Shame, and Society’s Messages to Men(137)
The Connection Codes Team are talking about the topic of male sexuality and vulnerability. With insights from listener feedback and an open discussion, they take a look at the hidden messages men receive about sex and desire—messages that create shame and emotional distance. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis share personal experiences and clinical observations on how societal pressures force men to conceal their struggles, while Tera brings a fresh perspective on how these issues affect marriages. Together, they discuss how acknowledging and unpacking these messages can lead to healthier connections and break down emotional barriers.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠
Chapters:
00:00:00 - Starting the Conversation on Male Sexuality

00:00:49 - Listener’s Challenge Sparks a Deep Dive

00:04:01 - Untold Stories and Hidden Experiences

00:05:27 - The Influence of Cultural Messages

00:12:34 - Unpacking Lust and Attraction

00:21:45 - Navigating Purity Culture’s Impact

00:31:54 - Biblical Takes on Lust: A Fresh Look

00:36:59 - Understanding the Greek Roots of Lust

00:38:06 - When Does Lust Become Sin?

00:39:08 - Attraction Stories That Shape Us

00:42:23 - What It Means to Be "Missing" in Marriage

00:45:05 - Surprising Insights from Pre-Marriage Talks

00:50:00 - Honest Conversations in Pre-Marriage Counseling

00:56:08 - How Honesty Reshapes Relationships

01:03:14 - Wrapping Up with Core Emotion Reflections
1 hr 11 min
October 22, 2024From Purity Culture to Sexual Confidence(136)
Tera and Phyllis talk about overcoming long-standing taboos around sexual exploration in relationships. They discuss listener questions about intimacy and vulnerability, reflecting on personal stories of breaking through fear and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of open communication, mutual trust, and being adventurous in the bedroom—whether that means trying pole dancing, exploring phone sex, or simply processing long-held fears. This episode challenges listeners to move past societal judgments and find what works for them and their partners, pointing out that every couple’s journey is unique.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach
Chapters
00:00:00 Introduction: Girl Time Vibes

00:00:50 Welcome to the Connection Codes

00:01:36 Unveiling a Listener's Email

00:03:26 Phyllis’s U-Haul Truck Adventure

00:05:12 Pushing the Boundaries in Sexual Adventure

00:07:44 Freeing Yourself from Shame and Judgment

00:12:52 Opening Up: Boundaries and Personal Comfort

00:14:10 Why Communication Is the Key to Intimacy

00:18:26 Chair Dancing: Phyllis’s Unexpected Confidence Boost

00:20:27 Staying Intimately Connected Across Distance

00:21:47 Girlfriends Sharing Bold Relationship Tips

00:23:34 Facing Shame and Embracing Vulnerability

00:24:03 The Joy of Fiction: A Surprising Tool for Sexual Exploration

00:26:32 From Theater to Bedroom: Removing Barriers

00:28:19 Self-Awareness: A Pathway to Sexual Exploration

00:31:00 Adventure in the Bedroom at Any Age

00:35:21 Processing Emotions Surrounding Sex

00:42:34 How to Build Safety and Curiosity in Relationships

00:44:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
46 min
October 15, 2024The Sex Talk Men Never Got with Sam Jolman(135)
Therapist and author Sam Jolman joins Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to discuss the topic of masculine sexuality. They discuss the ways men’s sexual identities are shaped by early experiences, cultural messages, and religious teachings. Sam shares stories and insights on how men can reclaim their sexuality by embracing vulnerability, addressing shame, and learning to see sex as a form of play rather than performance. The conversation also touches on common challenges in sexual relationships, the importance of open communication, and how better sexual education can lead to deeper emotional connections.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠⁠
Connect with Sam:
Sam Jolman: https://www.samjolman.com/

Sam on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samjolman/

Sam on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/samjolmancounseling

Sam’s Substack - the heart of it: https://samjolman.substack.com/

The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman: https://tinyurl.com/4s7b47pr

Story Formed by Sam Jolman: https://tinyurl.com/53sy8amx
Chapters:
00:00:00 – Setting the Stage: Why This Episode Stands Out

00:01:38 – Meet Sam Jolman: A New Voice in Masculine Sexuality

00:03:48 – Redefining Masculine Sexuality Through Personal Stories

00:06:52 – Real-Life Experiences That Shape Our Sexual Identity

00:09:55 – Why Sexual Education Is More Important Than Ever

00:14:03 – Navigating Challenges in Today’s Sexual Relationships

00:20:20 – The Strength in Vulnerability: Opening Up About Sexuality

00:25:01 – How to Clearly Communicate Your Sexual Needs

00:27:29 – Breaking Down Sexual Play and Its Importance in Relationships

00:28:28 – Understanding the Boundaries: Consent and Desire

00:29:37 – The Neurological Basis for Play and Vulnerability

00:32:32 – The Root of Miscommunication in Sexual Relationships

00:34:24 – Overcoming Fear and Embracing Playfulness in Intimacy

00:47:13 – The Hidden Power of Non-Sexual Play in Strengthening Bonds

00:48:37 – Wrapping It Up: Key Takeaways from the Conversation
52 min
October 08, 2024How Being Right Could Destroy Your Relationship is great(134)
The discussion in this episode is about the dynamics of conflict in marriage, exploring how trying to "win" an argument can lead to emotional disconnection. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill unpack the idea of the "courtroom" in relationships, where couples focus on proving who's right instead of understanding each other's emotions. They discuss how this leads to loneliness, especially in areas like sex, and share tools to shift from battling over facts to building deeper emotional connection. Whether it's about resolving conflict or dealing with sexual loneliness, you’ll be offered a path to transforming your relationship.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠
Chapters:
00:00:00 - Opening the Courtroom: How Conflicts Become Trials in Marriage

00:01:21 - Marriage as a Battlefield: The Story Behind the Courtroom Mentality

00:03:05 - The Burden of Being Right: When Winning Means Losing

00:04:21 - Logistics vs. Emotions: The Trap of Disconnected Arguments

00:09:45 - The High Cost of Winning: How Arguments Lead to Disconnection

00:14:36 - Exhaustion and Innocence: Why Proving Your Case Drains You

00:21:36 - The Unseen Toll: Navigating Emotional Chaos

00:22:20 - Sexual Loneliness Unveiled: A Pain Often Ignored

00:23:05 - Connection Through Conversation: How Words Heal

00:24:54 - Validation’s Power: The Key to Emotional Harmony

00:26:37 - Conflict as Connection: Transformative Approaches

00:27:40 - Practical Tools for Lasting Emotional Intimacy

00:29:32 - Reflecting on Past Wounds: Why Emotional Tools Matter

00:33:19 - Emotional Mastery: Building the Right Relationship Toolkit

00:37:15 - Healing Old Wounds: How Emotional Tools Transform Relationships

00:41:48 - Encouragement & Wrap-Up: Moving Forward with Connection
45 min
October 01, 2024From Childhood Trauma to Adult Dysfunction: Breaking the Cycle(133)
We explore the impacts of unprocessed emotions on mental health, from childhood trauma to adult struggles like OCD and anxiety. The team discusses how society’s tendency to label people, rather than understand them, leads to deeper psychological challenges. They discuss the importance of emotional regulation and use simple tools like the Core Emotion Wheel to help both adults and children process their feelings. By addressing these issues early on, we can improve emotional health and break harmful cycles across generations.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach
Chapters:
00:00:00 - Unveiling the Spectrum of Psyche Disorders: A Journey Begins

00:02:06 - Navigating the Human Condition: What Shapes Us?

00:03:28 - Unprocessed Emotions: Silent Disruptors of Our Lives

00:06:45 - Real Stories, Real Struggles: Humanity in Motion

00:09:31 - Childhood Memories: How Early Trauma Echoes in Adulthood

00:12:27 - Cultural Shifts and the Rise of Pathologizing Human Experience

00:16:02 - Living with OCD: A Deep Dive into Personal Insights

00:24:57 - Parenting in the Face of Emotional Health Challenges

00:31:26 - Parenting Misunderstandings: The Unspoken Burdens

00:33:53 - Childhood Anxiety: Recognizing and Addressing It Early

00:36:35 - A Neighborhood Incident: Society’s Quick Judgments Exposed

00:40:24 - The Vital Role of Emotional Regulation in Everyday Life

00:47:55 - The Core Emotion Wheel: A Game-Changer for All Ages

00:54:14 - Personal Reflections: Processing the Emotional Journey

01:00:38 - Wrapping Up: Final Thoughts and Encouragement for the Road Ahead
1 hr 3 min
September 24, 2024 Are You Weaponizing Your Emotions? How to Avoid Emotional Harm in Parenting (132)
The Connection Codes crew is taking on a listener's question about how parents can express emotions without making their kids feel like they need to earn love or approval. They explore how parents can balance showing real emotions while avoiding guilt-tripping or creating unnecessary pressure. From discussing parental guilt to finding joy in everyday moments, this episode offers you tools for maintaining emotional connection with your kids, even during tough times. Whether you're navigating emotional transparency or trying to create safe spaces for your children, this conversation offers insights on building strong, lasting family bonds.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach
Chapters:
00:00:00 - Welcome to Connection Codes: Exploring Emotional Safety in Parenting
00:01:14 - Personal Reflections: Updates from Life and Gratitude
00:03:43 - Unpacking Emotions with the Connection Codes Tool
00:06:43 - Listener Q&A: Navigating Emotional Parenting
00:11:49 - Striking the Balance: Emotion and Authenticity with Your Kids
00:21:18 - Parenting Guilt: Tackling the Internal Tug of War
00:22:52 - Finding Balance: Emotional Regulation in Parenting
00:24:38 - Prioritizing Connection: The Core of Parenting Success
00:26:54 - Teaching Emotional Awareness: Why It’s Crucial for Kids
00:30:01 - The Healing Power of Processing Emotions as a Family
00:31:57 - Building Long-Term Connections: Creating Safe Spaces for Kids
00:36:51 - Joy in Parenting: Why It Matters More Than You Think
00:39:26 - Listener Love: How You’re Helping Shape Our Conversations
42 min
September 17, 2024He Wanted to Quit: The Key to Turning Our Marriage Around(131)
Tera and Wes open up about going through an emotional disconnect and how they rebuilt their relationship using the Connection Codes method. They discuss their struggles with loneliness, guilt, and fear, and how these emotions impacted their marriage and family life. Tera and Wes also explore how learning to process emotions in the moment has helped them break old patterns of conflict, ultimately leading to a stronger, more connected partnership. This episode shows us how slowing down and creating emotional safety can transform a relationship.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠

To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠

To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach⁠
Chapters
00:00:00 - The Start of Our Connection Codes Journey

00:02:35 - How Our Journey Began During COVID

00:04:22 - The Core Emotion Wheel: A Life-Changing Tool

00:05:07 - Real-Time Emotion Wheel: An Unfiltered Demo

00:09:07 - Wes Opens Up: His Path to Emotional Awareness

00:12:08 - Tara’s Reflection on Connection and Communication

00:13:51 - The Tough Stuff: Breaking Through Emotional Barriers

00:19:34 - Parenting with Emotional Awareness: The Real Impact

00:25:23 - Emotional Anchoring: How to Stay Grounded in the Chaos

00:26:06 - Reflecting on Old Conflicts and New Growth

00:27:05 - Sticking with It: Committing to Emotional Growth

00:28:24 - Real-Life Transformation: What It Looks Like

00:30:42 - Processing Emotions in Real Time: No More Bottling It Up

00:37:04 - Creating a Safe Space: The Key to Emotional Healing

00:41:30 - The Challenges of Holding Space for Each Other

00:45:45 - Wrapping Up: Final Thoughts and Encouragement
49 min
September 10, 2024 Family, Trauma, and Survival: Why You Disassociate and How to Stop(130)
In this episode, the team is diving into the challenges of dealing with difficult family dynamics, focusing on the difference between disassociation and stunt doubling. The hosts share stories about how overwhelming situations, especially with family, can lead to shutting down emotionally or "faking it" just to get through. They explain how disassociation can protect us in moments of stress but can also lead to deeper problems, while stunt doubling is a conscious choice to stay present without fully opening up. They are letting you in on ways to get through these tough moments, helping you find balance between staying true to yourselves and protecting their mental well-being.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠
To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach
Chapters
00:00:00 - When to Show Up or Fake It: Intro to Stunt Doubling vs. Disassociation
00:01:13 - Panic on the Road: How Family Stress Can Lead to Disassociation
00:02:42 - Disassociation: The Mind’s Escape Hatch We All Use
00:04:15 - Driving Blind: Personal Stories of Emotional Shut Down
00:07:59 - Stunt Doubling: Why Pretending Might Save Your Relationships
00:11:08 - The Battle Between Authenticity and Survival
00:15:16 - Culture and Disassociation: Are We All Just Numb?
00:18:18 - Stunt Doubling: A Strategy for Emotional Survival
00:21:42 - Finding Safety: A Client’s Journey Through Stunt Doubling
00:23:51 - How to Stunt Double Without Losing Yourself
00:26:34 - Navigating Life’s Stressful Moments: When to Stunt Double vs. Disassociate
00:31:18 - Core Emotion Wheel: The Tool That Keeps You Grounded
00:34:50 - Wrapping Up: Tools and Insights for Navigating Family Dynamics
37 min
September 03, 2024Signs of Living in Emotional Pain (129)
In this episode, the Connection Codes team is discussing the impact of emotional and physical pain on our daily lives and relationships. They share personal stories about how unprocessed emotions can show up physically as chronic pain and stress, affecting our ability to experience joy and connection. They also give advice on how to recognize and address these emotions so we can break free from the cycle of pain and live a more fulfilled life.
Links and Resources:
Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠

To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠

To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/rnyne5jf⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about becoming a Certified Connection Codes Coach: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/certified-coach
Chapters
00:00:00 - Joyful Reunion: Reconnecting and New Beginnings

00:00:36 - Diving Deep: The Reality of Pain and Chronic Pain

00:01:27 - Welcome: Exploring Human Connection on the Connection Codes Podcast

00:02:01 - A Fresh Start: New Studio and a Surprise Reveal

00:04:21 - Why Core Emotions Matter: Understanding the Foundation

00:05:18 - Choosing Favorites: The Core Emotions That Drive Us

00:08:36 - Productivity vs. Emotions: The Unseen Connection

00:13:17 - Core Emotion Wheel: A Practical Exercise for Daily Life

00:18:45 - Unpacking the Layers: Emotional Triggers and Responses

00:23:53 - The Power of Connection: Transforming Relationships and Lives

00:25:57 - Certified Coaching Program: Empowering Others to Spread the Word

00:26:32 - Living in Pain: The Interplay Between Emotional and Physical Suffering

00:28:00 - Unprocessed Emotions: The Hidden Impact on Your Well-Being

00:30:36 - Stories of Pain: Personal Accounts and Shared Experiences

00:35:01 - Processing Emotions: Why It’s Crucial for Health and Happiness

00:40:07 - Practical Tips: Strategies for Maintaining Emotional Health

00:48:53 - Final Thoughts and Resources: Tools for Your Journey
51 min

About Connection Codes

From the publisher's feed

We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples and individuals conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together.