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By Sam Tielemans, LMFT
4.9
182182 ratings
The podcast currently has 173 episodes available.
In this episode, I reflect on a powerful moment from a couples counseling session where a wife expressed feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead.
I shared a mindset shift with them: it’s not about 100 steps—it’s one step done 100 times.
Inspired by Bruce Lee’s quote about doing 10,000 kicks, rather it's practicing 1 kick 10,000 times, we’ll explore how true progress comes from simplifying and focusing on a few key actions repeated consistently.
Join me as we break down the most important elements to prioritize in your individual and relationship progress, helping you grow faster, avoid burnout, and stay focused on what truly matters.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
[email protected]
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
A lot of couples feel stagnant on this journey and don’t make the progress that they hope and it’s slow and discouraging.
And what I’ve come to recognize as one of the most important aspects of this work is clarity.
If you don’t have perfect clarity about what the unresolved issues are, what’s causing them, and how to address them, then progress is slow.
Many women feel a lack of security or trust in their marriage because the pornography use hasn’t been resolved.
Many husband struggle with urges and temptations that they want to overcome.
Today I want to share with you a 3 step framework I use with all of my clients to help you get traction towards resolving problems quickly and start to see results instead of both of you just feeling discouraged.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
[email protected]
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
When a relationship is damaged by pornography use and dishonesty, many couples wonder if it's possible to actually fully rebuild trust again.
There are often lots of staggered or trickle disclosures, which caused a lot of damage to the trust.
So can it actually be rebuilt again?
The answer is yes.
But it requires a very specific approach and that's what I want to share with you in today's episode.
The more clarity you have about what steps to take and how to rebuild trust, the more you can focus on taking the right actions and start to see progress in your relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
[email protected]
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Are you and your spouse tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again?
Are you feeling stuck not knowing how to find closure and repair the damage of pornography use in your marriage?
Most couples get stuck when discussing the pain and hurt they feel and conversations end in fights or distance.
In today's episode, I want to share with you, one specific tool that you can implement immediately to have better conversations with each other.
And when you know how to have conversations in a way that creates closure, you can discuss any difficult topic without it spiraling into an argument.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
[email protected]
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
When a man struggles with porn pornography use, it can cause a lot discouragement and fear for both him and his wife.
So many women live in constant anxiety that the other shoes going to drop and they're gonna get hurt again.
Husbands often feel an underlying sense of inadequacy because they haven't been able to quit despite their best efforts to stop.
In today's episode, I share with you some specific things you do in order to break out of the negative pattern and find hope of overcoming this issue.
Is the difference between managing your triggers and actually being free from them, and that’s what makes progress and growth sustainable.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Mike struggle with pornography for 30 long years.
The feelings of hopelessness and anxiety debilitated him at times because no matter what he did to quit, it just didn’t bring him the freedom he was so desperately seeking.
He found this podcast and discovered that there was a new way to approach things after listening to some episodes.
He decided to reach out to work with me and he felt an immediate change even after the first call (which he’ll share in the episode).
Now that he’s finished with the process, he say’s the freedom he now enjoys in “indescribable.”
He wanted to share his experience to help other people learn what helped him on his journey and to give hope to those who feel discouraged.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
When pornography use is discovered in a relationship, it obviously has such a huge impact on a wife.
Understandably, she takes it very personal. It makes her question everything about the relationship, him and herself.
She'll often and wonder if she good enough for him? Does he actually love her? If so, how could he have done this? What does all of this mean for me and for us?
These are very difficult questions that she asks, and it comes from a place of broken trust and security.
In the healing process it's very important to have these questions answered and to reconcile how he could've done this if he does love her.
In today's episode we deep dive on how to make sense of all of this and how to start to heal your relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Have you ever struggled with feelings of an adequacy or not being accepted?
And has that been a trigger for you in the past that has led you down the path towards pornography use?
If so, you’re not alone. In fact this is a really common trigger for a lot of guys because feelings of rejection or failure or not being enough create heavy negative emotions that we want to get away from.
In this episode, I'm doing a live call with Steve, where we deep dive into his feelings of inadequacy to help him break these beliefs and create new thought patterns that build self-esteem and self-worth.
Along to hear how we approach this so you can apply the same tools in your life and overcome feelings of self doubt and shame.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
I once worked with a woman who was completely overwhelmed because her husband continued to struggle with pornography use.
She was at her wits end.
She felt like a ball of anxiety always waiting for the other shoe to drop and could never really feel comfortable in her skin and safe in the relationship.
The moment she started to let her guard down it just so happened that he would mess up again.
They had been in this loop for the past 10 years of their marriage.
When she reached out, she asked me this specific question – how do I handle it so that this doesn’t bring me down and it takes a day or week to deal with it?
We had a conversation that day, and I shared with her a couple of thoughts that helped to soften the pain of betrayal she was feeling.
I want to share those with you as well so you as a husband or wife, listening to this can know how to find or provide some relief as you’re working on repairing things.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
It's very discouraging for both a husband and wife when a man gets stuck in the cycle of falling back into pornography. Use every few weeks or months.
In this situation, a wife feels continual anxiety, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
A husband feels discouragement and hopelessness feeling like he's not making progress despite his best efforts.
In this episode, I share with you exactly how to break this cycle for good and how you can create safety in your relationship, knowing that the root of the problem is resolved and the pornography use is eliminated.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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