The 90-Day Freedom Trap: A Critical Warning

If you've been trying to quit pornography but can't stay free for more than 90 days, there's a crucial mistake you need to know about.

As a therapist, I see this same issue holding back almost every man who comes to me for help.

And wives, this matters for you too - it will help you understand whether your husband is taking the right steps to create real safety in your relationship.

So what's the problem? It's not about trying harder.

Many men put in tremendous effort, make progress for a few weeks or months, start feeling hopeful - then suddenly fall right back into old patterns.

The real issue is that their approach is incomplete.

Think of it like a gum ball machine: you need both the quarter AND the twist to get results.

Similarly, lasting freedom requires changes in two key areas: behavioral AND emotional. When men focus on just one, that's when the cycle keeps repeating.

Today, let's break down how to address both sides of this challenge.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Trust Once Broken: How She Can Know He's Really Changed?

When pornography breaks trust in a relationship, it creates a painful pattern.

He promises he's done, but then more truth comes out months later.

After this happens multiple times, many wives ask the same haunting question: "How do I know he's not just getting better at hiding it?"

This situation hurts everyone.

She feels like she's going crazy, constantly wondering what's real.

And if he's truly working to change, it can feel hopeless when she can't believe him anymore.

Today, I'll share three clear signs that show real change is happening.

These aren't just promises or words - they're specific actions and behaviors that both partners can watch for.

Understanding these signs can help you move from doubt to healing, and finally find your way forward together.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Think about what pornography takes from your life - it's like a heavy fog that clouds everything. It steals your focus, drains your confidence, fills you with shame, and keeps you from being truly present with the people you love. It affects your work, your relationships, and your spirit.

Now imagine the opposite: complete peace of mind. No more guilt. No more fear of being discovered. Being fully present with your family. A marriage built on trust and joy. Feeling confident and in control of your life again.

If there was a magic wand that could give you all of this back, you'd do anything to get it, right?

While obviously there isn't a wand, there IS a clear path to freedom. Real people have walked this path before you, and you can too.

In today's episode, I'll share the five biggest mistakes that keep people stuck in this cycle. More importantly, I'll show you how to avoid these mistakes and build a ladder out of this pit.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Imagine being stuck in a cycle that seems impossible to break: trying to quit pornography, doing well for a while, slipping up, hurting your partner, and starting all over again.

This pattern can go on for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless and exhausted.

Many think this cycle is just part of recovery - like climbing a mountain over and over, always sliding back down.

But what if there was a better way?

What if, instead of this endless climb, you could find a tunnel straight through the mountain?

In today's episode, I'll share three key reasons why breaking free feels so impossible - and more importantly, three practical steps to make this journey not just manageable, but actually hopeful.

Whether you've struggled for months or decades, these strategies can help you find real freedom, rebuild trust, and develop habits that make you stronger.

Get ready to discover a clearer path to lasting change.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Picture a relationship caught in a painful cycle: He struggles with pornography, she puts up walls to protect herself.

Things get better for a while when he tries to change, but then life gets busy, old habits return, and trust breaks again.

This pattern can repeat for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless.

One of the biggest challenges? When husbands stay silent about their struggles.

Many wives say this silence feels like secrecy, making it even harder to trust.

But here's the thing - many men stay quiet because they're afraid talking about urges will only make things worse.

In today's episode, we'll cover two game-changing topics:

First, how to talk about urges in a way that actually builds trust instead of destroying it.

Then, we'll dive into practical steps to address and eliminate these urges at their source.

Because here's the truth - while knowing how to discuss struggles is important, the real goal is freedom from them entirely.

Many men tell me they just want to feel normal again. Today, I'll show you how that's possible.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Rebuilding trust after pornography use damages it can feel impossible.

Many couples struggle to know where to start when their relationship feels broken.

Today, I want to share a simple approach to help you heal your marriage.

Many husbands try to prove they've changed by talking about their feelings. But here's the truth: your wife can't just take your word for it.

The real key is to listen to her specific concerns.

Every wife is different, and her worries are actually a roadmap to rebuilding trust. Maybe she's afraid of being hurt again.

Maybe she doesn't understand why things went wrong. These concerns aren't obstacles—they're opportunities.

In this episode I share with you a strategy you can use to utilized the blocks and stuck places as a launching point to actually healing your relationship.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Have you ever felt trapped by urges that seem impossible to control?

Many people struggling with pornography feel like these moments are scary and overwhelming.

Most advice tells you to fight these urges by staying busy or calling a friend. But that doesn't really solve the problem.

What if, instead of fighting urges, you could understand them? What if these tough moments could actually help you heal and grow?

In today's episode, I'll share a different way to handle these challenges. We'll talk about how understanding your urges can help you find real freedom.

This isn't just helpful for you—it's also important for your relationships. Partners will learn how to see real progress and healing.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Get ready to learn a new approach that can change everything

One of the most important steps in this process for husbands and wives is to better understand their emotions.

Many people ignore or suppress them, but this actually slows down your progress. 

Emotions contain important messages. 

They send information that reveals an underlying need or something that needs attention.

The sooner you can decode what your emotions are trying to tell you, the sooner you can address the issue and find resolution.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Sexual intimacy is one of the biggest things that is damaged when their wife discovers her husband pornography use.

It can be scary for her to be intimate because of the insecurities and fears that this situation creates –

"Is he comparing me to other people he's seen?"

"Is he just using me as a part of his addiction?"

"I want to be intimate but I don't feel safe enough.. how can we restore that foundation?"

In this episode, I share with you specific things that you can do to rebuild safety and security so your sexual intimacy can improve.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

Welcome to today's first mini episode!

I'm testing something new and am going to do a podcast that's less than 5 minutes long that gives you a specific tool to implement or a thought to consider.

These will be designed to give you something actionable that you can implement quickly to see changes fast.

In today's episode, I share with you a specific thing that you can do if you struggle with personal or relationship setbacks.

If you seem to keep hitting the same wall or struggle to maintain progress, this episode is for you.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here: 

[email protected]

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.