After watching The Materialists, a long-time listener sent in a question that struck a chord:

“What’s it going to take for us to kill the curve and stop dating by height, BMI, salary, or things that don’t speak to true character?” 

In this episode, Damona unpacks the real-life impact of checklist dating, explores the illusions behind modern matchmaking, and responds with practical advice for anyone who’s ever felt overlooked or friend-zoned.

Plus, she shares her “Nice Guy 9” framework—9 simple shifts that help you connect more deeply and date more intentionally.

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

How dating checklists quietly sabotage real connection

What The Materialists gets right—and dangerously wrong—about dating culture

The matchmaking myth and what it really costs (literally and emotionally)

Why bad boys always win—and why that isn’t actually what’s happening

The Nice Guy Nine: Damona’s go-to dating strategy for deeper connection

How to shift your love story by changing the stories you tell yourself

Resources & Links:

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This week, Damona takes on a question from longtime listener Vernee, who’s back in the dating scene after a hiatus… and hitting a wall when it comes to finding someone who shares her political and social justice values.

Vernee asks: "I'm politically progressive, very values-driven, and living in a purple state. I've tried everything — hints in my profile, direct chats — but nothing’s working. Where are the men who believe what I believe?"

If you’ve ever wondered how to communicate what matters without scaring people off — or how to find someone who’s actually aligned — this one’s for you.

In this episode:

• Why dating apps might feel harder now than they did just a few years ago

• How political identity and core values have become deeply intertwined

• What to say in your profile (and what to leave out)

• Why texting about politics rarely works — and what to try instead

• Where to meet values-aligned people beyond the apps

• The line between staying open-minded and lowering your standards

Submit your question: call or text 424-246-6255

Follow Damona on IG: @damonahoffman

Get your free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com

Order F the Fairytale on Amazon, B&N, or from your local bookseller

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Dating today isn’t always smooth sailing. There’s ghosting, bad first dates, texting traps... and if you’re feeling stuck in the same old dating loops, you’re not alone.

In this Dates & Mates Master Class, Damona Hoffman breaks down the eight most common dating mistakes she sees after 15+ years of coaching singles, and shares actionable fixes to help you date smarter, not harder.

Whether you’re tired of swiping, struggling to make real connections, or caught in negative self-talk, this episode gives you the clarity and tools to reset your dating approach.

What you’ll learn:

How to stop ghosting, and stop getting ghosted

The danger of “obliga-swiping” and how to date with intention

Why texting too much before a date kills chemistry

The power of refreshing your dating profile regularly

How to overcome negative self-talk and fear of starting over

Why having a dating plan beats waiting for a fairy tale

If you have questions about your love life, Damona wants to hear from you. DM her on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255 for a chance to have your question answered in an upcoming Dear Damona segment.

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Damona Hoffman breaks down one of the most important moments in dating—the first date—and how to make it count. Whether you’re getting back out there or swiping with new optimism, this episode shares how to set yourself up for success so that first date leads to a second.

Damona covers everything from whether to Google your date to how long a first date should really last, what to wear, where to go, and how to follow up. She even shares seven fun, low-pressure first date ideas that help build real connection.

What you’ll learn:

How long a first date should actually last

Why dinner dates don’t set you up for success

The value of a pre-date phone call (and when to do video)

What to wear to make the best first impression

How to choose a first date location that creates connection

Seven easy, fun, and affordable first date ideas

If you have a relationship or communicationquestion you’d like answered on a future episode, send Damona a DM on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255.

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REWIND: Dear Damona – Besties’ Bro & Never Been Kissed

In this standout Dates & Mates Rewind episode, Damona tackles your real dating dilemmas with her signature no-nonsense advice.

From navigating awkward crushes to handling tricky conversations about intimacy, this episode is packed with guidance to help you date with clarity and confidence.

If you’ve ever wondered what to do when your boyfriend avoids sex, how to approach dating when you’ve never been kissed, or whether it’s okay to filter for men with degrees, this episode has you covered.

You’ll also hear Damona’s take on modern challenges like dating someone with an OnlyFans account, dealing with phones on dates, and whether fudging your age on apps is ever worth it.

What you’ll learn:

If you have your own dating question, Damona wants to hear from you. Send a voice memo on Instagram @damonahoffman or leave a voicemail at 424-246-6255 for a chance to have your question answered in an upcoming Dear Damona segment.

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This week on Dates & Mates, Damona Hoffman rewinds to her 400th episode featuring a guest who helped inspire the show from the start: the legendary Dr. Drew Pinsky. Dr. Drew has spent decades giving love, sex, and mental health advice on Loveline, Celebrity Rehab, and now on his podcast Ask Dr. Drew, which he co-hosts with his wife of over 30 years.

In this vulnerable and heartfelt episode, Dr. Drew shares his personal journey through a seven-year on-and-off courtship, what finally made him ready for commitment, and how he and his wife maintain a strong marriage after decades together. Plus, he joins Damona to answer your dating questions in a special extended Dear Damona segment.

What you’ll learn:

Why emotional readiness matters more than "the one"

How to navigate on-again/off-again dynamics with clarity

When to disclose a medical condition or disability to a new partner

Why gratitude and daily check-ins are key to long-term love

What makes someone feel "unapproachable" in dating and how to shift it

How to know when you're ready to date after trauma or burnout

This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most timeless and transformative conversations from the Dates & Mates archive.

Subscribe now to catch every Rewind drop and our Spring bonus episodes the moment they go live.

Listen to more of Dr. Drew on the Ask Dr. Drew podcast and follow him @drdrewpinsky.

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This week on Dates & Mates, Damona Hoffman rewinds to one of her favorite conversations with love coach and viral content creator Shaun Galanos. Shaun is the host of The Love Drive podcast and has become a rising voice in game-free, radically honest dating advice—and this episode shows you exactly why.

In this raw and radically honest episode, Shaun and Damona go head-to-head on the dating games that hold us back, how to ask for what you want in bed, and what to do when someone won’t give you a straight answer. From emotional stonewalling to the pressure of dating app perfectionism, they unpack it all.

What you’ll learn:

Why radical honesty is the only dating strategy worth mastering

How to bring up uncomfortable topics without pushing people away

What stonewalling actually says—and how to respond to it

How to explore kink, sexual compatibility, and deeper intimacy with confidence

Why optimizing for the “perfect” person might leave you lonely

How to hold your power as a strong woman without dimming your light

This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault.

Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available.

Listen to Sean on The Love Drive podcast and follow him @thelovedrive on Instagram and TikTok.

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We are back with a no-holds-barred Best of Dear Damona episode—because when it comes to texting mishaps, mixed signals, and dating curveballs, this one hits home every time.

In this candid conversation, Damona answers some of your juiciest dating dilemmas—from the accidental text that lands in the wrong inbox to what it really means when someone texts you “hey you” at 11:30 PM. She shares smart, compassionate advice on navigating confusing signals, staying grounded, and owning your truth in the dating game.

What you’ll learn:

How to respond and recover when you send the wrong text to your date

Whether it’s okay to ask for better photos—and how to do it playfully

The real timeline for exclusivity (spoiler: you don’t have to rush)

Why it’s okay to date multiple people—and how to know when to choose

How to disclose chronic conditions or disabilities with confidence

Why shared values matter more than shared hobbies

This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault.

Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available.

DM Damona your questions on Instagram @damonahoffman or text 424-246-6255 to be featured on a future episode.

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Damona breaks down the 5 core dating “loops” that keep singles stuck and the step-by-step strategies that lead to lasting love.

With over 15 years of experience coaching thousands of daters, Damona shares how clarity, mindset, and follow-through can radically shift your dating outcomes. If you’ve been swiping without success, burning out on first dates, or unsure where to even begin, this episode offers a simple and strategic path forward.

What you’ll learn:

This is a special masterclass edition of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates archives.

Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available.

Want to go deeper? Learn more at DamonaHoffman.com

Join the Dating Accelerator Program

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Fan favorite, Dr. Orna Guralnik, renowned psychoanalyst and host of the hit Showtime series Couples Therapy, shares what decades of clinical work have taught her about love, connection, and unconscious patterns in relationships. In this conversation, Dr. Orna also opens up about the societal shifts reshaping modern intimacy, the difference between psychoanalysis and surface-level self-help, and why listening, real, curious listening, is a radical act in partnership.

What you’ll learn:

This episode is part of our Rewind Series, where we revisit some of the most powerful and timeless conversations from the Dates & Mates vault.

Subscribe to get every rewind episode and our Spring special bonus episodes the minute they are available.

Catch Dr. Orna in Couples Therapy (streaming now on Showtime)

Follow her @ornaguralnik
NYT Essay – “I’m a Couples Therapist. Something New Is Happening in Relationships”

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