Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

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Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman episodes

October 17, 2025 Feed Drop: CNN's Laura Coates on The Second Opinion
We are sharing a special episode this week, from Dr. Sharon Malone's new podcast, The Second Opinion.

On this show, women take back the conversation on health with straight talk, real experience, and the care we all deserve. You’ll hear prominent female advocates, experts and patients just like you sharing how they confronted gaps in our healthcare system and got second opinions that saved their lives.

Alongside each guest, Dr. Sharon tackles the questions and topics we’ve been conditioned to ignore - the ones we search for at 3 a.m. but never bring up at the doctor’s office. From dismissed symptoms to systemic failures, she pulls back the curtain on what’s really going on in women’s health and gives women the tools to advocate for themselves and each other.

In this episode, Dr. Sharon talks to CNN anchor and analyst Laura Coates about how she almost died during childbirth, her experience with early menopause and how she handles hot flashes on air and at home.

Dr. Sharon shares menopause warning signs and helps Laura connect what she thought were individual experiences to menopause. And the two discuss the need for improved awareness around suffering through menopause and the benefits of Hormone Replacement Therapy.

Listen to more of The Second Opinion: damonahoffman.com/secondopinion

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Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
36 min
October 14, 2025Text Me Maybe & Two-Person Problem
Ever feel like you're speaking different languages with your partner, literally? When one of you wants deep conversations over text and the other needs to actually hear a voice, it's not just frustrating. It's creating real distance.

This week, a listener shares:
"I'm seeing this guy and we have totally different ways of communicating and it's starting to become a problem. He's all about texting, like everything is through text with him. He wants to have these deep conversations over text and I'm more of a 'can we just call, can we actually talk?' person. Last week I had something I really needed to bring up with him and I texted him about it since that's what he prefers and it went so wrong."

In this episode, Damona unpacks why text-based communication has disrupted relationships more than dating apps ever did, what different communication preferences reveal about emotional processing, and how to bridge the gap without losing yourself in the compromise.
What You'll Hear In This Episode:
Why texting is a new form of communication that must be learned

How the “Why” behind someone’s communication style tells you everything

A practical framework for having "communication about communication"

Scripts for setting up “The Talk” about communication

New ways to assess compatibility

4 ways to reconnect beyond a text message

Resources & Links:
Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker
Got a communication question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255

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Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
31 min
October 07, 2025The Best Friend Fantasy & Safest Situation
Help Dates & Mates win a Signal Award! Vote by October 9th at damonahoffman.com/award

Loving someone who can't love you back the same way is one of the most tender, complicated situations in relationships. Sometimes the safest relationship in your life becomes the hardest one to navigate, and the person who knows you best is also the one you want most.

This week, a listener shares:
"I'm in love with my best friend. I'm a queer woman in my thirties and she's straight in her mid to late twenties. We've gotten progressively closer to the point where people think we are dating. My therapist told me my friend is the safest relationship that I have in my life. So sometimes I do wonder if what I'm perceiving as romantic love is just a really healthy friendship. Do I tell my best friend I'm in love with her? If I don't, how do I protect my heart and continue to have this incredible friendship that I never want to give up?"

In this episode, Damona explores what happens when deep friendship intersects with romantic feelings. You'll hear about the difference between emotional safety and romantic compatibility, why fantasy relationships feel easier than real ones, and how to navigate truth-telling without causing collateral damage to the relationship that matters most.

What You'll Hear In This Episode:
Why feeling safe with someone doesn't automatically make them your romantic match

How staying in the fantasy can keep you emotionally unavailable to real possibilities

The critical questions to ask yourself before revealing feelings to a friend

What it costs you to stay silent when romantic feelings are involved

Why creating distance might be the most clarifying move you can make right now

How to baby step into gauging openness without risking everything at once

What it means to proceed with compassion for both yourself and your friend

Resources & Links:
Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook
Leave a voicemail or text: 424-246-6255

Dates & Mates is a finalist for a Signal Award! We need your support to ensure Love Wins! Vote for Dates & Mates at ⁠damonahoffman.com/award⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
25 min
September 30, 2025The Efficiency Trap & The Loneliness Gap
Do you believe that Love Wins? Dates & Mates is a finalist for our first-ever Signal Award, and we need every single listener to make their voice heard. We are the ONLY relationship-focused and independently produced podcast nominated in the How To & Advice category.
If you have ever been helped, inspired, or changed by listening to this podcast, this is the moment to let me know.
It takes 30 seconds or less to VOTE at damonahoffman.com/award.
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You've mastered the logistics of life together, but somewhere along the way, you stopped actually living it together.

This week, a listener shares:
"I'm lonely in my own marriage. We've been together 12 years and we're like this well-oiled machine. Kids get to practice, bills are paid, house doesn't fall apart, but that's it. We don't actually talk anymore, just coordinate. Last week I realized we hadn't had a real conversation in probably two months. When I brought it up, he was like, 'what's wrong? We're good. We don't fight.' But I'm dying here. I miss my husband."

In this episode, Damona explores what happens when couples perfect the art of co-managing but lose the skills of co-connecting. You'll hear why functional doesn't have to mean emotionally empty, and how to bridge the gap when one person doesn't even see the problem.

What You'll Hear In This Episode:
Why becoming a "well-oiled machine" can actually work against your relationship

How to practice intimacy skills the same way you schedule soccer practice

The difference between absence of conflict and presence of connection

Why two months without real conversation signals an emotional drought

How to get from logistics to feelings without blindsiding your partner

What "relationship amnesia" looks like and how to recover those lost skills

Why missing someone who's sitting right next to you hits so differently

Resources & Links:
Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook
Leave a voicemail or text: 424-246-6255
Dates & Mates is a finalist for a Signal Award! We need your support to ensure Love Wins! Vote for Dates & Mates at damonahoffman.com/award

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
24 min
September 23, 2025Good on Paper & Sixth Sense of Humor
What happens if you get to the third date and it still feels awkward? Grin and bear it? Or keep waiting for chemistry? And how can you trust that your gut is telling you the right thing?
This week, a listener shares: "I met a man who checks every box on paper. He’s kind, reliable, matches my values… but I feel absolutely nothing. No spark. No butterflies. Is something wrong with me?"
In this episode, Damona shares the truth about emotional resonance, why the three-date rule isn’t a trap, and how to tell the difference between being too picky and being truly honest with yourself.
You’ll hear how to identify the signals your body sends you, why humor matters more than you think, and why being “decent” should never be the bar.
What You'll Hear In This Episode:
What the three-date rule really means (and what it doesn’t)

Why “good on paper” doesn’t always translate to connection

How to tell if you're genuinely curious or just people-pleasing

The surprising role of humor in long-term compatibility

How to do an energy check after every date

What your nervous system is trying to tell you

The difference between settling and staying open

Connect With Us:
Get your copy of "F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story"

Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our ⁠⁠Date Tracker⁠⁠

Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255

Follow @damonahoffman on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime.

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Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
34 min
September 16, 2025The 12 Date Rule & Matchmaker Maria
This week, Damona is joined by her longtime friend, TV and TikTok superstarMatchmaker Maria, a fourth-generation matchmaker with no time for fairy tale fluff.
They get real about why dating feels so lonely now,, the truth about relationship timelines, and why your deep texting doesn’t count as actual connection.
Whether you're stuck on the apps or spiraling in dating burnout, Maria shares practical tools from her new book Ask a Matchmaker that will help you reset your mindset, clarify your compatibility, and finally stop waiting for someone to “just get it.”

What You’ll Hear In This Episode
Why dating has become a solo sport and what to do about it
The truth about the male loneliness epidemic and community loss

How siloization is killing our dating lives

Maria’s 5 pillars of compatibility and why they actually work

How the 12-Date Rule leads to real connection (and yes, sex can wait)

The sneaky trap of texting-as-dating

Why bangs and Alicia Keys might be holding you back

Resources and Links
Connect with Maria on Instagram. Facebook, and TikTok
Get the book ⁠Ask a Matchmaker⁠
Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our ⁠Date Tracker⁠
Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255
Follow @damonahoffman on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠, and ⁠Facebook⁠, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
44 min
September 09, 2025I Miss You Taboo & The Bro Barrier
We often talk about romance, but this week, we’re taking a closer look at the quiet epidemic affecting millions: the erosion of deep friendships and emotional openness, especially among men.
What happens when someone says “I miss you”... and it feels too risky to say it back? How do cultural norms shape our ability to express care, and how can we start to rebuild emotional intimacy, not just in partnerships, but in friendships too?
This week’s episode was inspired by a friend of the show, Douglas, whose candid moment with his wife sparked a much bigger conversation about vulnerability, gender norms, and the loneliness many are too afraid to name.
This week, a listener shares:
“Last night my wife told me she was getting lunch with a friend after getting a text that said ‘I miss you.’ I told her it’s nice women can say that — but guys can’t. She insisted we could. I’m not convinced. What do you think?”
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
Why men’s close friendships have declined dramatically in the last 30 years

How emotional repression becomes loneliness, rage, and disconnection

Why “guys don’t say I miss you” is a cultural myth we need to break

The generational shift that teaches boys to shut down emotional expression

Three step-by-step scripts to help you reconnect or form new friendships

How to create low-pressure connection points that foster deeper bonds

Why you don’t need permission to reach out, just a little courage

Resources & Links:
Unlock the Secret to Successful Dating with our Date Tracker
Call or text your question to: 424-246-6255
Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, and submit questions via DM or voice memo anytime.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
28 min
September 02, 2025The Big Confession & Texting Gremlins
We’ve all had that one date…the one that felt like lightning. Everything clicks, and before you know it, you're imagining forever. But when you act on that high too quickly, reality can come crashing down hard.

This week, a listener shares: “Late at night, I had to get these thoughts off my mind. I told her I felt like I think I'd found my wife. She expressed that she was disappointed that I would say this after what she told me about moving too fast and that it was best we not see each other.”

In this episode, Damona breaks down what really happens when you come on too strong — and why even the most intense connection can’t be rushed. You’ll hear how fantasy thinking can override our better judgment, why texting late at night can sabotage a budding connection, and how to make amends when you've crossed a line. Most importantly, Damona offers real steps for recovery, both emotional and relational.
The neuroscience behind why we overshare when we feel a spark

How to tell if it’s a true connection or a fantasy projection

Why texting your feelings late at night is rarely a good move

What to say if you’ve overwhelmed someone with big emotions

How to show up as your full self without rushing the process

The one mistake people make after hearing someone’s boundary

A script for taking accountability while leaving the door open

Download the Frustration-Free Dating Guide: DamonaHoffman.com
Leave a voicemail or text your question: 424-246-6255
Follow @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook DM or voice memo your question to be featured in a future Dear Damona segment

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Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
26 min
August 26, 2025Love After Loss & The Vulnerability Gap
Grief changes us, and sometimes, it’s also what brings us together.
This week, a listener shares: “My partner and I both lost our spouses, and we bonded over that. Now, three months in, I’m the only one opening up and being vulnerable. Am I asking too much? Or moving too fast?”
In this episode, Damona explores what it really means to show up emotionally after loss, and why vulnerability often doesn’t look the same from both sides. You’ll hear how to honor your own emotional pace, set gentle boundaries, and recognize the difference between emotional availability and avoidance—even when love is in the room.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
Why shared grief doesn’t always mean shared emotional timing

How to spot different expressions of vulnerability (and not miss what’s there)

What to do when language that’s meant to be playful actually feels off

How to speak up about emotional needs without creating conflict

Why “moving in” can’t solve emotional distance

Resources & Links: Download Damona’s Frustration Free Dating Guide at DatesandMates.com
Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255
Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Submit your question via voice memo or DM to have it answered on a future episode.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
24 min
August 19, 2025The Friendship Drift & Support Squads
Friendships can be some of our most important relationships, but they don’t always stay the same.
Careers, relationships, moves, and life stages can all shift the way we connect, sometimes leaving us wondering if the closeness we once had is gone for good.
This week, a listener shares:
“My best friend and I used to share everything. Lately, it’s just work updates and weekend plans. When I try to talk about deeper stuff, the subject changes. Are we growing apart, or is there a way back?”
In this episode Damona shares why even the strongest bonds can feel distant and offers practical, low-pressure ways to reignite connection.
You’ll learn how to adapt to friendship changes, bring back emotional depth, and keep your support network thriving without it feeling awkward or forced. Plus you’ll also get vital communication tips that you can apply to dating or to feel more connected to people in your world.
What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
The role of “resistance” in making things feel weird and how to lean into it

Why longevity doesn’t always equal depth in a friendship

Using shared memories and storytelling to re-open emotional doors

The power of intentional questions and the “pause” in deepening connection

Why diversifying your emotional support network is key to resilience

Low-stakes ways to invite deeper conversations without making it awkward

Resources & Links:

Download Damona’s Frustration Free Dating Guide at DatesandMates.com
Got a question? Text or leave a voicemail for Damona at 424-246-6255
Follow @damonahoffman on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook and submit your question via voice memo or DM to have it answered on a future episode

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mentioned in this episode:
Book Your Breakthrough Boost today
DamonaHoffman.com/breakthrough
27 min

About Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

From the publisher's feed

From navigating dating apps to overcoming the friendzone to seeking a soulmate, this ain’t your momma’s love advice! Hosted by the Official Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and LA Times advice columnist, Damona Hoffman, Dates & Mates is jam-packed with interviews from your favorites celebs, authors, and experts.