Dating Intentionally

I'm getting into relationship rumination and that "should I stay or should I go" loop that keeps you stuck without ever actually making a decision. I'm covering the science behind why your brain does this, the difference between ambivalence and relationship anxiety, and a set of guided reflection questions to help you figure out what you actually want. I also share my own experience ruminating for years before leaving my ex, answer listener questions from Instagram about dealbreakers, timelines, and finding the courage to leave, and give you practical tips for breaking the cycle. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of four years has always said he can't marry her.

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I'm chatting with Rikki Cloos, the creator and author of Anxious Hearts Guide, one of the most grounded, accessible resources out there for healing insecure attachment. We're discussing communication mistakes most of us make without realizing it, why the words we say rarely match what we actually mean, and how that gap affects relationships. Rikki also shares her framework for improving communication and the seven relationship agreements she has with her husband. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who's been in couples therapy for months but is somehow feeling more distant from her partner.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 48 - all about getting your needs met as an anxiously attached person

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In this episode, I'm breaking down five practical ways to show interest in early dating, even if you're shy, introverted, or just plain terrified. I'm covering what works, no matter how comfortable you are with dating, and why most people hold back too much. Plus, I share some truly cringe-worthy things my listeners (and I) have done to show interest, and at the end, I tackle a dating dilemma about whether you should give someone feedback after you've already moved on.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Ep 244 - Building Inner Safety & Security

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I'm chatting with Eric Resnick, a dating profile expert with over 20 years of experience and 40,000+ profiles reviewed. We're discussing everything from why Bumble and Tinder are emotionally unhealthy by design, to what your photos are actually saying about you, to how to fix a profile that's getting zero matches, or way too many of the wrong ones. Eric also shares why women need to stop being passive on the apps and what a truly conversation-starting profile actually looks like. At the end, we review two real listener profiles live and break down exactly what to change.

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Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

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I'm answering five dating dilemmas that all circle the same messy truth: early dating is confusing, and you're not alone if you feel like you and your date are on completely different planets. Dating dilemmas:

1. She's 5 dates in with a guy who's sweet in person, but is still active on the apps.
2. She's keeps leaving great first dates only to wait in silence, wondering if she should just text first or hold out.
3. He says he's "open-minded" and she's trying to figure out if that's a green light or a waste of her time.
4. She met a guy at a party, he kissed her and begged her to text him... then gave her the wrong number.
5. Men on the apps keep asking her out in their very first message, then disappearing when she asks to chat first.

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Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

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I'm chatting with Hannah Johnson, aka The Libido Fairy, a sex educator with over half a million followers who helps women reclaim their desire and actually enjoy sex. We're discussing everything from why women lose their sex drive in long-term relationships to the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire to why sex needs to feel rewarding to work. Hannah also shares her brilliant "King and Queen Day" concept (a structured, communication-forward way to feel deeply taken care of by your partner) and her take on transition activities that help your nervous system shift into intimacy mode. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about someone who ignored major red flags and got emotionally attached anyway.

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Quince: Get free shipping & 365-day returns on luxe basics, bedding, and more. quince.com/talia

Pique Life: Unlock 20% off your first order! piquelife.com/dating

Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

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I'm breaking down one of the most asked-about milestones in modern dating: exclusivity. I'm covering the difference between being exclusive and defining the relationship, the signs you're actually ready to have this conversation, and how to bring it up without coming off too eager or waiting too long. I also get into how so many situationships are born in this exact moment and what to do if their answer is vague or non-committal. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend's best friend is using manipulation and self-harm threats to interfere with their relationship, and what she needs to hear.

The line: "Hey, I'm enjoying this connection so much that I just want to focus on getting to know you more, and I'm not seeing anyone else."

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Here's my original episode on defining the relationship (DTR)

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Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

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I'm chatting with Emma Wilson, dating coach and creator of the Turning 30 community for single women, who went through a major breakup at 33, built her business from the ground up, moved to Costa Rica for five months, and eventually found her partner in the most unexpected place. We're discussing everything from how societal pressure tricks us into thinking we're ready for a relationship when we're not, to what it actually looks like to trust your timeline without it feeling like an empty cliché. Emma also shares her concept of "expanders"—real people who show you that your path is possible, plus her honest take on slow burn attraction and why butterflies don't have to be instant. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who keeps hearing she's great but that the "butterflies just weren't there"—and what that feedback actually means.

Check out Emma's podcast, Turning 30!

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Quince: Get free shipping & 365-day returns on luxe basics, bedding, and more. quince.com/talia

Pique Life: Unlock 20% off your first order! piquelife.com/dating

Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

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I'm talking about one of the most important things you can work on, no matter where you are in life: building security within yourself. I'm covering what self-security actually looks like, from meeting yourself with compassion instead of judgment to physically calming your nervous system, taking small risks to build self-trust, and aligning your actions with your values. I also share some of my own story and walk you through the signs that you might need to work on this more. At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from someone who's scared to bring up an important topic, fearing it might rock the boat.

⁠Free texting templates & dating FAQ guide⁠

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Pique Life: Unlock 20% off your first order! piquelife.com/dating

Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

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I'm chatting with Zach Brittle, host of Marriage Talk Radio and a Gottman-trained marriage therapist who's been working with couples for over 20 years. We discuss everything from what singles should know about long-term relationships before they start dating to why "negative sentiment override" can slowly poison even good relationships. Zach breaks down the three factors that drive positive sentiment and explains why repair is more important than resolve in conflict. He also shares practical strategies for navigating hard conversations. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a couple who can't seem to stop fighting when they're apart.

THANKS TO OUR PARTNERS

Factor: Get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year factormeals.com/di50off

Meundies: Get up to 50% off on underwear with code DATING! meundies.com/dating

Quince: Get free shipping & 365-day returns on luxe basics, bedding, and more. quince.com/talia

Pique Life: Unlock 20% off your first order! piquelife.com/dating

Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. wayfair.com

CONNECT WITH ME:

⁠Ask a question for me to answer on the pod⁠

⁠Slide into my DMs on IG @dating.intentionally

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⁠Free texting templates & dating FAQ guide⁠

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