Dimming The Gaslight: Our Healing Journey From Narcissistic Abuse

Saige Whitney from A Lights Out Narcissistic Podcast joins us to tell the unbelievable story of how a vulnerable friendship with a patient at a nursing facility spiraled into manipulation, addiction, emotional abuse, fake medical emergencies, and a marriage built on lies.

And somehow… it only gets crazier as the episode goes on.

🏥 “I Have Six Months to Live… Will You Marry Me?”: What starts as a friendship instantly turns into emotional chaos when Sage is told her new partner is terminally ill—and wants to get married immediately. Looking back now, the red flags were EVERYWHERE.

🎭 The Fake Illnesses Start Piling Up: Cancer. Kidney failure. Gastroparesis. Endless ER visits. Constant emergencies. But over time, Sage begins realizing something horrifying: almost none of it was real.

💊 The Drug Mule Realization: Weekly hospital trips suddenly start making a lot more sense once Sage uncovers the truth behind the self-harm, opioid addiction, and manipulation happening behind closed doors.

⚠️ “Everyone Is Abusing Me”: One of the most disturbing parts of this story is how false accusations became a weapon. We get into what happens when someone constantly creates chaos, makes horrifying claims, and slowly conditions you to question reality itself.

🧠 Why Narcissists LOVE Vulnerable People: This conversation gets DEEP into why survivors with empathy, loyalty, addiction struggles, trauma, or “good girl syndrome” often become the perfect targets for manipulative people.

🎬 The Horror Movie Parallel That Explains Narcissism PERFECTLY: Sage explains how the movie Lights Out became the inspiration behind her podcast—and honestly… it may be one of the best metaphors for narcissistic abuse we’ve ever heard.

💔 “I Thought I Could Heal Her”: We also get into the savior complex so many survivors develop, and the brutal realization that sometimes the more you sacrifice yourself for someone… the more they destroy you.

👀 And Then The Mask Fully Slips: Between fake illnesses, secret hookups, manipulation tactics, and emotional control, the story slowly transforms from “sad” to genuinely disturbing.

This episode is funny, dark, uncomfortable, validating, and absolutely jaw-dropping at times. If you’ve ever ignored red flags because you wanted to believe the best in someone… this conversation is going to hit HARD.

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For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

Allison Scott joins us for one of the most raw, emotional, and honestly jaw-dropping conversations we’ve had on the show yet.

What starts as a conversation about her song Superman quickly turns into a deep dive into covert narcissistic abuse, religious manipulation, emotional control, infidelity, trauma, motherhood, and what it actually feels like to slowly lose yourself inside a marriage that looks “perfect” from the outside.

🎵 The Lyric That Hit Us Like a Truck: Allison opens up about the inspiration behind her song Superman—and the heartbreaking feeling of believing you “deserve to be unseen.”

🧠 “He Was Nice While Destroying Me”: No screaming. No obvious explosions. Just years of subtle criticism, control, judgment, and emotional erosion disguised as kindness. We talk about the kind of abuse that’s almost impossible to explain to people who haven’t lived it.

⛪ Religious Abuse & Weaponized Faith: Allison shares how scripture, theology, and “being a good wife” were used to keep her quiet, submissive, and constantly questioning herself.

👀 The Moment Everything Finally Clicked: After years of chaos, infidelity, emotional neglect, and manipulation, one realization changed everything: “This is abuse.” We get into the terrifying moment when you finally see the relationship clearly for what it actually is.

💔 The Stories That Will Make Your Jaw Drop: From emotional cruelty during pregnancies… to being compared to prostitutes… to subtle psychological control behind closed doors… some of these moments are genuinely hard to believe.

🎶 Music as Trauma Therapy: One of the most beautiful parts of this episode is hearing how songwriting, singing, dancing, and creativity became part of Allison’s healing journey after years of emotional survival mode.

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For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

Sonnet Daymont is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relational trauma, but she also brings a profound, heavy lived experience to the table.

🧠 When Dangerous Feels Like Home: Sonnet details her intense personal experience of working for a boss who later committed murder, explaining how early childhood trauma creates blind spots that cause us to choose danger because it feels familiar.

⚠️ The Dark Triad Spectrum: We break down the exact differences between narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths, discussing what actually motivates them and whether these personality disorders can ever truly be treated.

👁️ Rewiring the Brain with EMDR: A massive deep dive into exactly how EMDR therapy works. Sonnet explains how bilateral stimulation engages the prefrontal cortex to literally clear the physical and emotional charge of a traumatic memory down to a zero.

🎸 Music & Finding Your Voice: Mac discusses his own healing journey through playing his new guitar, while Sonnet and Phil explore why society often silences the male emotional experience and how men can finally find a voice for their trauma.

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Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We’ve talked a lot about the damage narcissists leave behind… but this episode flips the script in a way we’ve never explored before.

Lily joins us to share her story as a mother of a narcissist — a role that comes with intense shame, silence, and judgment. For years, she believed what many parents are conditioned to believe: if something is wrong with your child, it must be your fault.

So she did what she thought a “good mother” should do. She apologized. She took responsibility.
She gave more, sacrificed more… and kept trying to fix something that only seemed to get worse.

But behind the scenes, something far more complex — and far more disturbing — was happening.

In this episode, we dive into:

• What it looks like when narcissistic abuse comes from your own child
• How guilt, societal pressure, and therapy culture can keep parents stuck
• The subtle shift from loving relationship to emotional chaos
• Why narcissists can appear vulnerable, self-aware… even empathetic
• The breaking point where Lily realized: this isn’t me… this is her
• And the eerie sense of peace that comes with finally letting go

This conversation is raw, uncomfortable, and deeply eye-opening — especially if you’ve ever questioned your own reality in a relationship.

Because sometimes… the roles aren’t what you think they are.

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For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We have a massive episode for you today! We talk a lot on this show about the absolute wreckage a narcissist leaves behind, but this week, we are getting into the actual science of how that damage fundamentally changes our brains and our bodies.

Mac and Phil are joined by holistic psychologist and betrayal recovery expert, Dr. Debi Silber, to break down the exact roadmap for putting the pieces back together.

🧠 The Science of Betrayal: Dr. Debi explains the fundamental difference between surviving a general life crisis and surviving a betrayal, and why traditional healing methods often fail to fix a shattered sense of trust.
📉 Post Betrayal Syndrome (PBS): We dive into the staggering statistics of PBS and how emotional abuse directly manifests into chronic physical illnesses, digestive problems, and severe exhaustion.
🛑 The "Stage 3" Trap: We break down the 5 Stages of Betrayal Recovery, focusing heavily on the dangerous "survival mode" where victims often get stuck for years—and why support groups can sometimes make it worse.
📖 Getting Unstuck: Dr. Debi shares actionable steps from her newest book, Unstuck, on how to transition from mere survival into total transformation, even when you still have to co-parent or deal with the betrayer in everyday life.

JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We are diving into the intersection of religion and narcissism. Following up on last week's Buddhist perspective, this episode takes a completely different, highly satirical approach to surviving toxic environments.

🙏 Gaslighting for God: We sit down with author Becky Garrison to discuss her new book, a satirical guidebook and memoir that tackles spiritual abuse using personal stories and scholarly research. Click the link to buy her book!

❤️ The Ultimate Weapon: Mac and Becky discuss the power of satire when dealing with narcissists, including why a southern "bless your heart" is the absolute best way to tell someone off.

🔥 Shattering Idols: Becky breaks down her philosophy on surviving a global reckoning, why tearing down false idols is painful but necessary, and how to find glimpses of real goodness in the fragments left behind.

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For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

Mac and Phil sit down with special guest Nana Gyesie, a lifecoach, mentor and buddist! We uncover the exact "crossroads" in life that separates a humble empath from a manipulative narcissist.

🧠 The Narcissism Spectrum: Guest Nana joins the show to explore how narcissism runs on a spectrum and how people consciously lean into dark manipulation.

🔀 The Ultimate Crossroads: We break down the pivotal moment in life where a person goes through extreme hardship and must choose a path: become a toxic abuser or a humble empath.

❤️ Surviving the Fire: Phil and Mac reflect on their own traumatic pasts, discussing why enduring real pain makes you highly empathetic rather than turning you cold and calculating.

JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com

⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

What happens when the love-bombing is so intense that you find yourself trapped for nearly three decades? This week, we are joined by Mia Hanks @npd.andme , author of the upcoming memoir “Bride-Made”. Mia shares the terrifying reality of surviving a 29-year marriage to a narcissist.
From the lavish dates and over-the-top gifts that reeled her in, to the relentless gaslighting that convinced her she was the root of every problem, Mia breaks down her journey. We discuss the danger of marrying someone who constantly paints themselves as the “smartest guy in the room” and the incredible strength it takes to finally walk away.

JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

Eva Lavina survived 25 years of narcissistic abuse, but she almost didn't survive the final discard. In this gripping interview, the author of "Death Is No Reason To Stop Living" joins us to tell a story that sounds like a movie script.

After a mysterious incident left her in a coma with complete amnesia, Eva woke up to a nightmare: her husband wasn't trying to help her recover—he was trying to have her committed to a psychiatric ward.

In this episode:

• The Poisoning Suspicion: Eva opens up about why she believes she was poisoned and the "missing" toxicology report that could have proved it.

• The Frame-Job: How her ex used her hospitalization to paint her as "suicidal" and "dangerous" to doctors.

• The Savior: The incredible moment her couple's therapist intervened and saved her from being locked away.




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For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠




⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

It started with an obsession with K-Dramas. It ended with a month-long solo trip to Korea for "plastic surgery" that was actually a cover for something much darker.

Our guest Tyler shares one of the most insane discovery stories we have ever heard. After his wife left him home with their three kids for a month, Tyler heard a literal voice in his head say three words: "Check the iCloud."

What he found wasn't recovery photos. It was a hidden folder containing over 1,000 pieces of evidence that shattered his reality. From the ultimate gaslight ("I cheated because you didn't love me enough") to living with the enemy for a year during the divorce, this is a story of survival you have to hear to believe.

JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.