Dimming The Gaslight: Our Healing Journey From Narcissistic Abuse

Sean survived the 2002 Bali Bombings and a car crash that shattered his pelvis—but nothing prepared him for the war inside his own home. A high-powered Tech CEO by day, Sean was living a nightmare by night with a wife who averaged 55 drinks a week and terrified their children.

When his 16-year-old daughter whispered, "Mom is drunk-driving, she nearly killed me," Sean knew he had to act. He treated his divorce like a military operation: reading The Art of War, secretly moving documents to a storage unit, and spending $12,000 on a "fake" final holiday just to keep the peace before the extraction.

The Aftermath: It wasn't just a breakup. It was a scorched-earth legal battle involving false allegations of sexual abuse that destroyed his reputation across two major cities.

JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

“It felt like the total package. The chemistry, the deep conversations, the shared future—and then, overnight, it was gone. No reason. No explanation. Just a cold exit.”

In this episode of Dimming the Gaslight, Phil and I sit down with psychologist @drj.smith to deconstruct the “Discard Phase.” We dive deep into why high-character “Givers” are targeted by “Empty Vessels” and the psychological blueprint of a relationship that has a pre-determined shelf life.

In this episode, we discuss:

*The Mirroring Phase: How they project your own best qualities back at you to create a “soulmate” illusion.

*The Lack of Closure: Why searching for a “reason” from an empty shell is a trap.

*The Recovery Blueprint: How to sit with the “maddening” discomfort and reclaim your worth through discipline and truth.

*Humanism vs. The Mask: Recognizing the difference between someone who is beautiful on the outside and someone who is truly loving on the inside.

You aren’t “broken” because they left; you are being liberated from a fake version of reality. It’s time to see your victory.

JOIN US ON DISCORD!

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

This is unlike any episode we have ever recorded. Our guest, John, isn’t looking back on abuse from years ago—he is actively escaping it right now. Recorded just 24 hours after fleeing a house where he was held prisoner, John joins Mac and Phil to tell a story of survival that sounds like a horror movie.
From 24/7 camera surveillance and starvation tactics that left him emaciated, to financial devastation and a literal plot to hide his body in a crawlspace, John breaks down how he went from a successful father to a “prisoner of war” in his own relationship. Phil isn’t just a co-host on this one; he was the extraction team. This is a raw, unpolished, and terrifying look at coercive control and the fight for freedom.

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

So I thought about it. And then thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it some more.

And then I got a case of the fuck-its.

Why should I stay quiet? If it’s the truth, then let the truth be told. I’m putting this one-time Patreon episode out on the public podcast.

This episode is a marathon. It's a 2.5-hour purge of the demons from a relationship I thought was real. Unfortunately, I fell for another narcissist.

I'm breaking down every detail: the red flags I painted yellow, the warning signs I missed, and the cold reality of the discard. Am I crazy? Was none of it real? Or am I back to recovering from narcissistic abuse?

You be the judge.

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

🎄👻 Holiday Horror Stories is here.
From ice that somehow caused a meltdown, to a pie that turned into a full-blown nightmare, to one person quietly planning their escape while the lights are still up…
If your ex ever ruined the holidays, this episode is for you.
Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

@lets_talk_about_narcissism hosts the “The Narc Mother In Law” podcast. She is an old friend and I’ve been trying to have her on the pod for a long, long time!

Erica’s ex-mother-in-law is a nightmare, and she didn’t get much help from her ex-husband either. Her MIL constantly badgered her about her weight, invited her husband’s ex-girlfriend to Christmas, and even made statements that led Erica to believe her life was in danger! You gotta hear this one!

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

This week on Dimming the Gaslight, we welcome back Jennifer — you’ll remember her from Episode 113. Since then, her husband’s NEx has been busy, and Jen is here to give us an unbelievable update on the chaos she’s been dealing with.
From the NEx stealing Jen’s idea for a special Disneyland trip… to taking cheap shots about Jen’s body… to even mocking a family member battling cancer — the shenanigans are somehow both shocking and painfully familiar.
If you’ve ever found yourself screaming “OMG, ME TOO!” at this show, buckle up — Jen’s story is going to hit home.

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We always joke that “this whole situation could be a movie”… so why not a full-blown theatrical performance? This week, we’re joined by Brooke — writer, director, producer, and star of a one-woman show that exposes gaslighting for what it truly is: a full-on circus.

She gives us a sneak peek into the plot, the characters, the chaos, and how each moment connects to her own lived experiences. This story is wild, raw, and unlike anything we’ve featured before.

Trust me — you don’t want to miss this one.

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

One of our all-time favorite guests is back this week! Dr. Josh Smith @drj.smith — psychologist and expert in narcissistic abuse — joins us to break down the victim complex of narcissists. It all starts with a real situation that happened with Mac, and unfolds into a powerful talk about how toxic people twist communication, flip the script, and play the victim… and how you can protect your peace.

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

This week, we share one of the most harrowing “neighbor from hell” stories you will ever hear. Our guest, Heather, details a relentless campaign of terror that goes far beyond a simple dispute. She describes enduring constant stalking, high beams shone into her home at all hours, and disruptive heavy machinery (bobcats) running day and night. The harassment allegedly escalated to horrifying levels, including arrows and Molotov cocktails being shot at her home. Heather’s story of survival is a must-listen.

Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!

For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠

⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.