Dysfunctional

What if those moments where you’re convinced you’re a horrible person who “shouldn’t even be here” aren’t proof that you’re broken… but that you’re in what my guest calls a shame storm?

In this episode I’m joined by Melinda Delisle, MS LCCE – clinical nutritionist, former childbirth educator, and someone who has spent years navigating intense emotional dysregulation herself. We talk honestly about what it actually feels like inside a shame storm, why some of the most popular “healing tools” can make it worse, and how food, supplements and nervous system health quietly drive so much of our emotional world.

We get into:

- The difference between a shame swamp, a shame spiral and a full-blown shame storm

- Why gratitude lists, mindfulness and “just be present” advice can feel like gaslighting when you’re in survival mode

- How trauma, high sensitivity and people-pleasing set us up for chronic hypervigilance

- The link between nutrition, B vitamins, SSRIs and emotional dysregulation

-- Mistaking familiarity for safety – and why so many of us feel unsafe even with “nice” people

- Self-parenting, accountability and facing the ways our own dysregulation can make us the “toxic” one at home

Melinda also shares a free upcoming 4-week program she’s creating to help people build awareness, have better conversations around triggers and start finding their way out of constant dysregulation.

Substack: https://melindadelisle.substack.com/

Free 4-week program: https://melindadelisle.com/foundation/

Instagram: @melindadelisle

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melinda-delisle/

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Children with a parent in prison are some of the most invisible kids in the country. In this episode, I sit down with Sarah (founder of charity Children Heard and Seen) and Felix (communications officer) to talk about what really happens to those children when a parent goes to prison, and why nobody is officially keeping track of them.

We talk about:

How Children Heard and Seen supports kids in the community with mentoring, groups and one to one support

The shocking reality of children left completely alone at home when a parent is sent to prison

Why there is no national data on which children have a parent in prison

The role of media, stigma and vigilante attacks on already vulnerable families

Why support must be child led, not focused on “fixing” the parent or forcing contact

The first ever Children with a Parent in Prison Day (25th November) and the national conference

If this episode moved you, please share it, talk about it with someone, and check out Children Heard and Seen to see how you can support or spread the word.

Link to the conference:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hear-me-see-me-parental-imprisonment-lived-experience-conference-tickets-1700692921309?aff=oddtdtcreator

Link to our website:

https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk/

Lived Experience Blogs written by adults who had a parent in prison as a child:

https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk/hidden-voices/

#parentalimprisonment

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Josh talks about:

Why the phrase “toxic person” makes some people more uncomfortable than abuse itself

The difference between “people doing toxic things” and people who are mostly harmful

How spiritual bypassing and “it’s all trauma” language can erase accountability

Why victims get to choose the language for what happened to them

Empathy with no boundaries and why it’s self-destructive

Healthy shame vs toxic shame

Why it’s okay to walk away and even hate someone who hurt you

#toxicpeople

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Maike is the author of The Confession: A Journey to Acceptance, her memoir of growing up with a father with undiagnosed mental health issues who went on to take his own life. She is a lived experience speaker and volunteer for Survivors of Bereavement by suicide

When Maike Mullenders was eleven years old, her dad sat her down and told her he was going to end his life — and made her say goodbye.

He survived that night. But ten years later, he died by suicide and left behind a confession to the police saying he’d “been inappropriate” with her — something Maike had no memory of.

In this conversation, we talk about what happens when your childhood forces you into the role of caretaker, and how that shapes everything that follows. We explore dissociation, survival, and what it means to grow up reading every tone of voice in a room just to stay safe.

Maike shares how decades of therapy, yoga, and community work helped her reclaim her body, her boundaries, and her right to take up space — even without ever knowing the full truth about her past.

We talk about:

Surviving a parent’s suicide attempts and living with the aftermath

The lifelong impact of emotional enmeshment and hypervigilance

Parenting after trauma and breaking generational patterns

Acceptance versus forgiveness — and why you don’t need both

Learning to feel safe in your body through movement and presence

The healing power of community and self-compassion

This episode is about what real healing looks like — messy, nuanced, and deeply human.

It’s about learning to live with not knowing, and finding peace anyway.

Please take care of yourself while listening.

Find Maike here -

https://www.linkedin.com/in/maike-mullenders-3021232b7/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091853840552

#suicideawareness #mentalhealth

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We call it “mental health,” but what if the real diagnosis is a sick system?

Wellness anthropologist Aurora Leigh joins Josh to argue that disconnection — not individual defect — sits under our crises of addiction, anxiety, and depression. We dig into stoicism as emotional shutdown, the trap of pathologizing pain, and how somatic, community-based healing outperforms label-and-medicate approaches.

Expect Rat Park, the Roseto effect, sexual trauma as an ignored root cause, and Aurora’s “Somatic Regeneration” blueprint for moving the nervous system from survival to open, curious, connected. We finish with practical tools listeners can use today — and a challenge to rebuild policy, schools, and healthcare around safety, love, and belonging.

Find out more about Auroara here -

https://www.skool.com/simply-sacred-wauroara-leigh-2570/about?ref=9e5561a6facc4f2586229fc89b4fbee6

www.simplysacred.ca

https://youtube.com/@auroaraleigh?si=Xl7bT3OHHHEyy3s-

#mentalhealth

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This episode includes candid references to suicide, depression and self-harm.

It’s just been World Mental Health Day. I’m asking a hard question with no easy answers. Is the mental health conversation helping… or are there places it’s making us worse?

I talk about the tension between compassion and consequence. The risk of romanticising suffering when public figures die. How awareness can accidentally normalise behaviours. Princess Diana speaking about bulimia and what followed. The pathologisation of being human. My own swings, labels I once clung to, and what it takes to pull myself out of a spiral without shaming the struggle.

This isn’t anti-awareness. It’s a call to evolve it. Less performance. More truth. Fewer labels as identity. More community and responsibility. Let’s bring the pendulum back to the middle.

In this episode

• The double-edged sword of public compassion after tragedy
• When “normalising” crosses into normalising the thing itself
• Labels, identity loops and the algorithm effect
• Appropriate pain vs “mental health” language
• Finding the line between care and a loving push to move

If you’re struggling

Please reach out to someone you trust. You can also contact crisis support in your country (e.g. Samaritans in the UK, CALM, or your local emergency services). You don’t have to carry it alone.

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In this solo episode of Dysfunctional, Josh asks a raw question:

Is the world actually worse, or are we just being fed constant content that keeps us triggered?

As a highly sensitive person, Josh reflects on how algorithms exploit empathy, why stress has become a hidden addiction, and how our compassion is being stretched to breaking point. He dives into the danger of compassion fatigue, the blurred line between activism and doomscrolling, and why protecting your nervous system matters more than ever.

This is a conversation for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the state of the world — and who needs reminding that caring doesn’t mean carrying everything.

#highlysensitiveperson

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Old friends. Real talk. A mini 115 Miles reunion.

Hasan Khair joins me to unpack why work feels like a moving target and what to do when the ladder you were climbing gets ripped from the wall. We get into how school trained us for compliance, how hyper capitalism rewards harm, and why AI is speeding up a reckoning in every industry.

This is not doom. It is a plan. We get practical about midlife pivots, redundancy, belief, and the tiny actions that rebuild confidence. If you feel stuck, dehumanised by job boards, or scared to start again, this one will help.

In this episode

The real shift in work since 2008 and why restructures never stop

AI and automation. Why senior roles are getting cut first

School as a factory model. How it kills agency and creativity

Confidence and class. The advantage of environment

Hasan’s story. Failing A-levels, Blockbuster, Virgin, executive roles, redundancy, reinvention

Panic vs purpose. How to pause and design a different path

Ikigai without the fluff. What you love. What you’re good at. What the world needs

Nano steps. Not grand gestures

Why community multiplies belief

Hasan - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hasankhair/

Tyllr - https://tyllr.co

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Lauren Smallcomb grew up the “golden child” at home and in church. When compassion widened and questions came, the role cracked. We get into:

• Golden child vs scapegoat dynamics and why families swap those seats
• Conditional love, estrangement, and the pressure to “get back in line”
• High control religion, missions in Thailand, and leaving the system
• The body keeping the score: hives, chronic symptoms, and slow repair
• Rebuilding through mind body work, movement, breath, and safe love
• Her new book and who it’s for

Work with Lauren and Luke: Flourish Therapy (mind body practice, global)

• Instagram & Facebook: @flourishtherapy
• Website: flourishtherapy.co

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