This episode is about taking a stand for what we value. Today’s caller, Sebastian, is not getting his needs met in his relationship. He is attempting to talk through his issues, but the results are not changing. We discuss ways to get clarification from his partner about what she needs and how he can have his needs met by taking a stand for his values.

 

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode315]

 

If communication solved every issue in a relationship, we could all just read communication books and have the most amazing relationships, friendships, and parental relationships. Everything would be easy. But, it is not. We need to do the inner work. We play out our childhood stuff in our adult life, especially in relationships.

 

When a child has emotionally unavailable parents, they learn to tolerate a lot more hurt. When they grow into adults, they may have a pattern of thinking things are better than they truly are in their intimate relationships.

 

In relationships, friendships, or any kind of intimate relationship, we often love and give in the way we want to be given to and loved, not necessarily the way that person needs or wants it.

 

We have to be bold when it comes to things like love, our families, our health, our well-being, and what is important to us. We must take a stand for our values.

 

Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself not being a firm stand for what you want in your life?
• Do you ever tiptoe around people afraid of upsetting them?
• Do you often feel disrespected in conversations or just not heard?
• Do you have some codependent patterns and let people walk all over you?
• Do you often find yourself with emotionally unavailable or avoidant-type people?

 

Sebastian’s Question:

Sebastian feels he doesn’t get his needs met in his relationship and would like guidance on how to have a healthier relationship.

 

Sebastian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• His relationship has ups and downs.
• Hurtful things are said between him and his partner.
• He and his partner have done couple counseling.
• He has a 10-year-old son with his partner.
• He feels disrespected by his partner.
• He loves his family.
• His partner finds it is overwhelming to deal with his emotions.
• He is trying to uncover and overcome the relationship issues.
• He is codependent.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Get curious about what his partner needs.
• Have a conversation about what each other needs emotionally.
• Stand in his strong, healthy masculine and ask his partner if she wants the relationship to work.
• Step into his power and take a stand for himself and the relationship.

 

Takeaways:

• Take a stand for your values. Be very clear about what you want and where you are going.

 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

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Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

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