In this l episode, Laura speaks with Stephanie McPhail, M.S., an expert in toxic relationship recovery. With a Double Masters Degree in Health and Education, a Bachelor in Psychology, and certifications as a Crisis Counselor and Coach, Stephanie brings a wealth of knowledge to the conversation. As a Reiki Practitioner and author of the bestselling "Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt" book and workbook, she specializes in helping professional women rediscover themselves after toxic divorces or breakups. Stephanie, who has been interviewed on FOX and featured in New York Weekly, hosts a weekly cable show, "Kick Unhealthy Relationships to the Curb." She serves on the CORE counsel of Experts for Avaiya University and on the board of a non-profit.

Today, she shares the complexities of healing after abusive relationships, discussing red flags, trauma bonding, and the critical importance of self-work. Stephanie shares important insights from both her personal experiences and her professional work, offering guidance on how women can rebuild their lives and find happiness, whether single or in a relationship.

Timestamps:

[05:04] Recognizing toxic patterns in various relationships

[05:25] The importance of communication in relationships

[08:53] Benefits of assertive communication in relationships

[10:06] Benefits of rebuilding self-esteem after toxic relationships

[15:39] Why people stay in unhealthy relationships

[21:14] Understanding cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding

[23:36] How narcissists can manipulate and control their partners

[28:28] Focusing on self-healing rather than obsessing over the abuser

[35:56] Building self-esteem and learning to set healthy boundaries

[49:06] The importance of getting comfortable being alone

Quotes:

• It's one of those things that we don't even realize how much it's affecting every area of our lives until we start doing the work and we're like I need to do something different here. And you're right. I think as soon as we start working on us, the people that have been taking advantage of those lack of boundaries don't like to stick around.
• You can either feel uncomfortable now or feel uncomfortable later. And if you feel uncomfortable later, that that tends to mean that we've been feeling uncomfortable for a long time and more bad things have happened.
• I think as soon as we start working on us, the people that have been taking advantage of those lack of boundaries don't like to stick around.
• We have to get really careful. 'Cause it can be a really slippery slope. We don't wanna live in researching about narcissism. We don't wanna become experts in narcissism because then you're just giving them more time and space.
• You can either feel uncomfortable now or feel uncomfortable later. And if you feel uncomfortable later, that tends to mean that we've been feeling uncomfortable for a long time and more bad things have happened.

RESOURCES:

MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources

FOLLOW STEPHANIE:

Gift/book a call: Beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/thrive-guide

15 minute discovery call and free resources: https://www.beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beinglovedshouldnthurt/

Personal FB: https://www.facebook.com/stephanie.mcphail.10

FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/BeingLovedShouldntHurt

Podcast: toxiclovepodcast.com

Website: beinglovedshouldnthurt.com

Book is available on the website or Amazon: Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

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