Contrary to the other five, the love language of personal space isn’t expressed in an active manner, but rather it's being intentional, supportive, and respectful with one another. It gives someone permission to spend time reflecting, contemplating, and doing other inner processes.

While it’s romantic to have connection and engagement in a relationship, it’s also true that couples who are deeply committed in their relationship need space and time apart. However, putting this idea into practice brings up fear and insecurity sometimes.

Today’s episode is the continuation of How to Use the 6th Love Language in Your Relationship, discussing what hinders a couple’s ability to give and/or receive space and solitude, what expectations to consider in order to devise a compromise acceptable to both sides, how to assess our need for space, and finally, how to practice the 6th love language in your relationship in conscious and proactive ways.

Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode:

07:40 The gift of personal space and solitude is presumed by many as the 6th love language. This act of love and care is particularly helpful to introverts, highly-sensitive, and artistic people.

09:48 Practicing this love language helps empaths achieve clarity on things they’ve been contemplating about. This is supported by a research study on liminal space where some of the best inventions, equations, and ideas are said to be coming from.  

13:55 Modern living as well as changes in our relationship norms and stereotypical roles make it difficult for us to get a true sense of space. This could especially be true for people who are living in close quarters, people sheltered in place during the time of the pandemic, and individuals who can hardly differentiate time for self-care, romance, work, and domestic responsibility. 

18:26 Inquiring about your partner's expectations is a helpful starting place to begin the conversation. From here, you can start to work together to achieve a win-win solution. One method is to take into account our family background, what we’re used to, and how our sense of culture was negotiating time and space. 

20:06 Reflecting on the following areas can also help inform your expectations in partnership: Do you depend on your partner to fulfill many of your needs? How are you with self-care? Are you honest about your needs? Do you take comfort in being alone?

24:22 When inquiring about your partner's expectations, you may also want to consider the levels of attention, engagement, and communication that each of you is willing to give and/or receive. 

28:28 A guide to knowing our need for space

32:10 The gift of space and distance are shown in various forms, for example: being supportive of your partner’s endeavor, allowing your partner to enjoy their moments with friends, encouraging them to pursue their commitments, and being respectful with their hobbies 

38:20 How to honor the 6th love language in your relationship

Mentioned

• Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything by Victor J Strecher (*Amazon Link)
• A Guide to Speaking the 6th Love Language article by Pedram Shojai
• ERP 281: How To Use The 6th Love Language In Your Relationship – Part 1
• ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship
• ERP 238: How To Find Your Emotional Balance In Relationship

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