About this Episode

Conflict in relationships isn’t just inevitable—it’s normal, healthy, and, perhaps most importantly, an opportunity. Yet, the tension between wanting deep connection and authentic acceptance, while also holding onto individuality, can feel like a tightrope walk. How do couples move beyond judgment and misunderstanding to experience radical acceptance and true intimacy, especially when old patterns, unresolved hurts, and competing needs seem to pull them apart?

In this episode, listeners are guided through the complex terrain of navigating differences in long-term relationships. With practical strategies rooted in attachment science, trauma awareness, and mindful communication, this conversation dives into how curiosity, compassion, and proactive agreements can transform even the most challenging dynamics. Expect actionable insights on building repair after conflict, balancing “me” and “we,” and creating a thriving relationship where both partners—and the partnership itself—can grow. Whether you’re in the thick of recurring arguments or simply seeking a deeper, richer connection, this episode offers real tools to help you rediscover joy, security, and growth together.

Carolyn Sharp, LICSW, is an experienced couples therapist with 25 years of expertise in attachment, neuroscience, trauma, and mindfulness. She helps couples build vibrant, secure relationships through coaching, workshops, and retreats. Carolyn’s passion and extensive training inspire her work in creating joyful, healthy connections. She is the author of FIRE IT UP: Four Secrets to Reigniting Intimacy and Joy in Your Relationship.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights 

06:14 How Carolyn Sharp found her calling in couples therapy.

09:25 The complexities of long-term relationships and the importance of learning healthy relationship skills.

12:16 Can couples truly grow together without losing themselves?

15:44 How curiosity becomes a secret weapon in relationships.

18:14 Navigating identity and boundaries: Individuality within relationships.

21:29 Understanding the origins of conflict: Attachment patterns and family system dynamics.

26:46 Proactive communication: The importance of planning and ‘owner’s manuals’ in relationships.

33:31 Relationship needs as a third entity: Maintaining the ‘us’ in times of stress.

35:41 Repairing relationship injuries

39:30 Recognizing and addressing unresolved hurt: Signs and solutions.

42:21 Learning how to apologize and repair: Overcoming childhood patterns and building new skills.

47:59 How tiny moments of repair lay the foundation for lasting trust.

Mentioned

Fire It Up (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

Evolve in Love (program)

The Big Leap (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

Essentia’s website (*Affiliate link)

Stratami™ Organic Mattress (This is the mattress we purchased) (*Affiliate link)

Classic REM5 Active Mattress - (The mattress we wish we could have gotten for the cooling feature) (*Affiliate link)

Connect with Carolyn Sharp

Websites: carolynsharp.com

Facebook: facebook.com/carolyn.sharp.528

Instagram: instagram.com/secureconnectionscoaching

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/carolyn-sharp-2948407

TikTok: tiktok.com/@secureconnectionscoach

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship 

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins 

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation 

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins 

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 

Website: drjessicahiggins.com  

Email: [email protected]

If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. 

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*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.