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ERP 483: Flirting with Consent: Rewriting the Script on Sexual Communication - An Interview with Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.A
About this Episode
Is sex in long-term relationships destined to fade into routine, become awkward, unsatisfying, or quietly avoided? Many couples find themselves sidestepping desire, making silent assumptions, or repeating the same old script while craving deeper connection and renewed excitement. The outcome is often sexual boredom, miscommunication, and a growing emotional distance that affects the entire relationship.
What if the key to lasting passion isn't just about technique? What if it lives in courageous, ongoing conversations about consent, desire, and our evolving needs?
In this episode, listeners are invited into a candid and creative exploration of sexual communication. Consent is reframed as more than a one-time agreement; it becomes a fluid and continuous dialogue that keeps intimacy alive. You'll discover how to make these conversations feel natural and exciting instead of awkward, how to face vulnerability and disappointment with compassion, and how to sustain erotic curiosity over time. Whether you're looking for fresh insight or practical tools to reignite intimacy, this episode offers both inspiration and guidance to help you co-create a relationship that grows with you.
Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.A. are thought leaders in the intimate realm. As the founders of the Somatica® Institute of sex and relationship coaching, they have created experiential and relational teaching methods to revolutionize sex coaching and help people transform their sex lives and relationships forever. They are the authors of 3 books and the lead sexologists on a soon-to-be-released UK-based reality TV show. They will enliven and enlighten audiences with talks about everything in the realms of intimacy, sexuality and relationship as well as the power of vulnerable leadership in teaching, business, and in building community.
Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights06:06 How curiosity, culture, and compatibility shape sexual expression.
10:00 Why a beginner’s mindset matters in long-term sexual relationships.
13:55 Consent beyond “yes” or “no”: Making communication part of attraction.
17:45 Creating safe spaces for sexual self-discovery.
20:23 Building safety when sharing desires.
25:25 Challenging assumptions and resentment in intimacy.
31:16 Discovering turn-ons: Moving past stereotypes to emotional and psychological arousal.
34:48 The power of curiosity, flirting, and non-judgment.
39:47 How to expand erotic menus and blueprints.
41:01 Finding the win-win: Bridging and turn-taking in sexual negotiation.
46:20 Learning to sit with disappointment—acceptance and the reality of relationships.
MentionedSomatica Coach Certification (Somatica Institute link)
Somatica® Sex & Relationship Coach Certification (Somatica Institute link)
Relationship Reboot (Somatica Institute link) (online class)
Making Love Real (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
Coming Together (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
Confidence (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
My Secret Garden (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
ERP 211: How To Get Rid of Shame to Increase Pleasure In The Bedroom – an Interview with Ian Ferguson
ERP 473: How to Experience More Embodied Pleasure Sexually – An Interview with Susan Taylor
Special offer for listeners: Use Empowered30 (gives $30 off Relationship Reboot)
Connect with Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.AWebsites: celesteanddanielle.com | somaticainstitute.com
Facebook: facebook.com/somaticainstitute | facebook.com/celesteanddanielle
YouTube: youtube.com/@SomaticaInstitute
Instagram: instagram.com/somatica_institute
TikTok: tiktok.com/@somatica.institute
Connect with Dr. Jessica HigginsFacebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship
Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins
Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/
Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins
Twitter: @DrJessHiggins
Website: drjessicahiggins.com
Email: [email protected]
If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.
Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.
Thank you!
*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
View all episodes
By Dr. Jessica Higgins
4.8
137137 ratings
About this Episode
Is sex in long-term relationships destined to fade into routine, become awkward, unsatisfying, or quietly avoided? Many couples find themselves sidestepping desire, making silent assumptions, or repeating the same old script while craving deeper connection and renewed excitement. The outcome is often sexual boredom, miscommunication, and a growing emotional distance that affects the entire relationship.
What if the key to lasting passion isn't just about technique? What if it lives in courageous, ongoing conversations about consent, desire, and our evolving needs?
In this episode, listeners are invited into a candid and creative exploration of sexual communication. Consent is reframed as more than a one-time agreement; it becomes a fluid and continuous dialogue that keeps intimacy alive. You'll discover how to make these conversations feel natural and exciting instead of awkward, how to face vulnerability and disappointment with compassion, and how to sustain erotic curiosity over time. Whether you're looking for fresh insight or practical tools to reignite intimacy, this episode offers both inspiration and guidance to help you co-create a relationship that grows with you.
Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.A. are thought leaders in the intimate realm. As the founders of the Somatica® Institute of sex and relationship coaching, they have created experiential and relational teaching methods to revolutionize sex coaching and help people transform their sex lives and relationships forever. They are the authors of 3 books and the lead sexologists on a soon-to-be-released UK-based reality TV show. They will enliven and enlighten audiences with talks about everything in the realms of intimacy, sexuality and relationship as well as the power of vulnerable leadership in teaching, business, and in building community.
Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights06:06 How curiosity, culture, and compatibility shape sexual expression.
10:00 Why a beginner’s mindset matters in long-term sexual relationships.
13:55 Consent beyond “yes” or “no”: Making communication part of attraction.
17:45 Creating safe spaces for sexual self-discovery.
20:23 Building safety when sharing desires.
25:25 Challenging assumptions and resentment in intimacy.
31:16 Discovering turn-ons: Moving past stereotypes to emotional and psychological arousal.
34:48 The power of curiosity, flirting, and non-judgment.
39:47 How to expand erotic menus and blueprints.
41:01 Finding the win-win: Bridging and turn-taking in sexual negotiation.
46:20 Learning to sit with disappointment—acceptance and the reality of relationships.
MentionedSomatica Coach Certification (Somatica Institute link)
Somatica® Sex & Relationship Coach Certification (Somatica Institute link)
Relationship Reboot (Somatica Institute link) (online class)
Making Love Real (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
Coming Together (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
Confidence (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
My Secret Garden (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
ERP 211: How To Get Rid of Shame to Increase Pleasure In The Bedroom – an Interview with Ian Ferguson
ERP 473: How to Experience More Embodied Pleasure Sexually – An Interview with Susan Taylor
Special offer for listeners: Use Empowered30 (gives $30 off Relationship Reboot)
Connect with Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman, M.AWebsites: celesteanddanielle.com | somaticainstitute.com
Facebook: facebook.com/somaticainstitute | facebook.com/celesteanddanielle
YouTube: youtube.com/@SomaticaInstitute
Instagram: instagram.com/somatica_institute
TikTok: tiktok.com/@somatica.institute
Connect with Dr. Jessica HigginsFacebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship
Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins
Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/
Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins
Twitter: @DrJessHiggins
Website: drjessicahiggins.com
Email: [email protected]
If you have a topic you would like it to be discussed, please contact us by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.
Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.
Thank you!
*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
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