#340: Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I'm fine,’’ when you're actually anything but fine? Maybe you're getting everything done - crushing it at work, maintaining relationships, keeping up appearances - but feeling disconnected from it all. Like you're watching your life play out from behind a glass wall.

This isn't just you being "too in your head" or "not trying hard enough to feel." This is your nervous system's brilliant (but outdated) protection mechanism called functional freeze.

Join me today as I revisit functional freeze: the nervous system state I see most often in people living with emotional outsourcing patterns. We’ll explore what functional freeze really is and why it's not your fault, how to recognize when you're in it, and why understanding this pattern is the first step to breaking free.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/340

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

This bonus episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin.

But what if I told you that's a lie? What if I told you that the right people are starving for your realness? What if I told you that your "too much" is actually someone else's "just right?" What if you're not too much at all? What if you've just been around people who are too small for your bigness?

This is exactly why I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing, to help you stop apologizing for who you are and start celebrating your fullest self.

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#339: You were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time. That's the truth that so many of us struggle to accept when we look back at our past decisions - the relationships we stayed in too long, the boundaries we didn't set, the times we said yes when we meant no. 

There's this part of us that believes if we're mean enough to ourselves about these choices, we won't make them again. But here's what science tells us: beating yourself up doesn't create change.

This episode explores why compassion for your past self is essential for creating real, lasting change. Listen in today to discover how hating who you used to be blocks growth, and why being kind to your past self isn't about excusing behaviors or pretending everything was perfect.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/339

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you. It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs.

Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true, authentic, grounded, open-hearted love, love, love.

That's what my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, is all about: helping you take off the mask and discover that this big, messy world needs the real you, not the performing you. And I cannot wait to share my new book with you, where I'll teach you all about it.

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#338: Shame is one of the most powerful forces keeping us stuck in emotional outsourcing, and we don’t talk about it nearly enough. This invisible force runs so deep that we often don't even realize it's guiding our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

My book, End Emotional Outsourcing was born from my search for a shame-free, inclusive, feminist framework to name these patterns, and to begin healing them. If you’ve ever felt like your habits made you broken or unworthy, this conversation is for you.

Join me this week as I explore the complex relationship between shame, the nervous system, and emotional outsourcing - three interconnected forces that keep us locked in patterns of codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/338

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing.

In this book series bonus, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing, can help you start coming home to yourself - no longer orbiting everyone else’s needs, but finally living for you.

Pre-order the book now at victoriaalbina.com/book and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

It's my birthday month, and I'm doing what any Leo Somatics nerd with a microphone and a brand new book would do. I'm giving you the gifts.

If you pre-order End Emotional Outsourcing by August 18th, 2025, you're automatically entered to win a 30-minute, one-on-one coaching session with moi, not publicly available. Bring your most tangled thought habits, your most scrunched up somatics. Or, a 90-minute breathwork session to help you feel like yourself again, in your body and your spirit, not just your brain.

Go to beatrizalbina.com/birthday for the details and to get in on the magic.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#337: Money shapes more than just our bank accounts - it touches how we show up in relationships, how we value ourselves, and whether we feel secure enough to set boundaries with those who support us financially.

This week, I sit down with financial therapist and author of Feel-Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being, Aja Evans, to explore the intersection of money and mental health, particularly how codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits show up in our financial lives. 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/337

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning.

You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits.

This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety

#336: Modern friendship isn't what it used to be. We're navigating a world where identity is more complex, where we have unlimited choice in who we befriend, and where the burden of maintaining connections falls entirely on our individual shoulders. 

Friendship expert, speaker, journalist, and author of Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, Anna Goldfarb, also known as "The Friendship Explainer," reveals that this shift has created both unprecedented freedom and unexpected challenges in how we connect with others.

In this conversation, Anna and I examine why so many of us feel lonely despite having full contact lists, and how our codependent and people-pleasing patterns can actually sabotage the authentic connections we crave. Anna shares her research on the five core reasons people make friends and offers a framework for building deeper connections.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/336

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!

You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Nervous System Signals and Safety